Promise Bound
by PeaceRoseG'ladheon
Summary: What happens if Rose is fast enough and is able to shield Dimitri from the attack in the caves? What if it means she was taken instead? This is the entire fourth book with a twist...
1. A Memorial

The world was dark. A heavy omen seemed to coat the grounds. Silence hung over the academy; a thick, heavy quiet. The morning dew collected on my leather boots as I stalked through the grass. It was a calm morning; the last of the sun's rays were disappearing beneath the mountains. Just before the light faded completely, I ducked through the small wooden door.

I could smell the scent of burning candles as I manuevered through the dark; the room was so light-deprived no human could possibly see. The low drone of a voice whispered thorugh the air, and I took my seat at the back, careful not to disturb anyone. I was good at that. Being invisible.

"And now," the pastor said, "We will honour the fallen." The room grows painfully quiet, leaving me alone with my aching guilt. I gaze around. People fill the pews; many more than they should comfortably hold. Many are sobbing. Clutching onto their friends and family. Wiping their faces with tissues.

I clasp my hands together; the knuckles turn white. "Abigail Badica." A wave of hard sobs flood through the church. An inhumane wail screams against the wooden walls. I look into my hands as more names are called. Royal. Non-royal. Dhampirs. Teachers. Students. No one was safe. Not anymore. "Edward Ellsworth." The only emotion I could seem to comprehend was pain. It consumed me, devouring my soul.

"Rosemarie Hathaway." A whimper escaped my lips, so soft that no one else could hear. _Oh God, Roza._ I leaned forward, burying my face in my palms. My heart throbbed an ached. Every piece of it.

She had left me. She had saved me. The thought made my chest constrict painfully. Yes, the strigoi had been fast. So fast. But she had been just as quick, jumping out in front of me and allowing herself to be pulled away. Away from me. Into his arms. And his fangs sunk into her neck.

And I couldn't see her. She was gone in a rush of people that kept me from her. I tried to scream, but as I opened my mouth, another voice drowned my own.

"ROSE!" I turned and saw Janine run forward. Several guardians tried to pull her back, but she gave an animalistic roar and jerked her arm from their grasp. This was all I needed, knowing the deed of saving Rose was impossible, I needed someone who distracted my attention. I reached out and gripped Guardian Hathaway's wrist, pulling the tiny, powerful woman behind me as we retreated to the academy.

And I ran. And left my heart behind.

"Guardian Belikov?" I pulled my head up from the memory and saw the princess's eyes. Tears streaked down her cheeks; her hair was tangled on one side of her head, where she had leaned on Christian Ozera for comfort. I would have given anything to hold Rose; to pull her into my arms and never let go. Anything.

"Yes Princess?" My voice was tight and weary. She sniffed and smoothed her hair. She glanced behind her, and I discovered the church was empty.

"I-I haven't seen you. In a while." I nodded. As her guardian, I was to follow her, protect her. But I had avoided seeing her, busying myself with extra shifts and long hours. It was immature and ridiculous. I hated myself for it, among many other things. It felt like I was taking Rose's place. A inadaquate substitute. _Cheap foreign labour_. The thought made me smile. Almost.

"I know, Princess. The academy needs extra security," I lied through my teeth, not having the energy or motivation to make it convincing. She nodded anyways and glanced behind her again, looking at the memorial at the alter.

"She would have hated it. She would be the one telling people to get off their asses and do something." I tried to smile, but ended up grimacing.

"Yes, that sounds like her." I look up at the princess. Her hair was sleek and straight; she was the picture of a princess, prim and proper. When the world saw her, they saw the grand Dragomir line, her future. While I look at her, I see only Rose.

"I'm here, if you need me." I meant this as a dismissal, but she just nodded and sat down beside me, resting her hand on my arm. I look down, and the wounds on my hands disappear. I think of Rose, screaming at me, trying to pull away, to strike me. I shiver and pull away. Vasilisa sighed and took a deep breath.

"She's alive." I stiffened. Not possible.

"Princess," I whispered, my voice shaking, "I know this has been tramatic, and you'd love to believe that-"

"She's. Alive." Vasilisa's eyes went dark and fierce. "I would be able to feel something. Anything. The bond can't just be broken without me knowing!" I look at her and see the determination in her eyes. "You have to believe me." She was right. Oh God.

I squeeze me eyes shut. I try to imagine her, lying in the caves, her neck bleeding. Dying.

"No," I whisper. I push myself up abruptly, jerking away and moving out of the church. I cannot think of this. Not now. I storm into the courtyard, which is unusually empty due to the attack. Everyone is in their dorms, preparing for the day.

As I start to enter the school, I run straight into someone who I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing.

"Lord Ivashkov," I mumble, trying to move past him. He reaches out and catches my arm. I sigh angrily. "I really don't have time for this." It was an impolite and disrespectful, but I didn't care.

He sighed loudly. "It's about Rose." This got me. I spun and grabbed him by the collar. He reeked of cigarettes and alcohol.

"What. About. Rose?" He cleared his throat and brushed me off.

"Hands off." I released him, and he sobered, so to speak, immediately becoming serious.

"She's alive." The information swam in my head. His words made my chest throb; an empty space that would never be replaced. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Why are you telling me this?" He snorted.

"I thought you would care most of all, _Belikov_," he sneered.

"She's not alive," I hiss, and try to move past him once again. He stops me by shoving his palm against my chest. His eyes are suddenly sharp and determined.

"I have been trying to reach her for a week. Constantly. She's not sleeping." I knead the thought, turning it in my head. My pulse pounded in my ears.

"Then how can she be alive? It doesn't matter that the Princess said-"

He snorted again. "The bond wasn't broken? Yeah, I came up with something." I nodded weakly, waiting for him to continue.

"She's a strigoi." My heart shattered. I wondered how many times I would have to endure this heartbreak before I could no longer feel anything at all.


	2. Losing What You Value Most

**I do not own Vampire Academy!**

* * *

I had lost what I valued most. My heart. My soul. I clenched and unclenched my fingers around the stake in my hands. I was slowly making my way towards the gates of the academy. The same place I had spent the past two years. It had been my home. _Yes, well things change._

I was nearly at the perimeter when a figure steps out from beneath the trees. I tense, gripping my stake and preparing myself for a fight. What I didn't expect was to see Princess Vasilisa. Her arms were wrapped around herself and she was still wearing a heavy jacket. She must have still been cold in weather that I considered warm adn springlike.

"Hey," she says at last. I nod to her.

"Hi." I shove my hands into my pockets, at a loss for words. We lapse into an uncomfortable silence. All I can think of is that I am losing time, that Rose might be getting farther and farther away.

"I knew it." I look up suddenly at her sharp words. "I knew you would do something like this. Ever since they told us that her body was gone. I was just waiting."

"You're able to read my mind, now?" I ask ruefully. She gives a small small despite the circumstances.

"No, but you're not that hard to read. I can't believe it. I never noticed. She was my best friend. And Victor's comment..." She turned away, her eyes falling over the sunset. I didn't know what to say, but my heart was beating wildly. Finally, she turned to face me, her face radiating anger.

"Why didn't you tell me? And why didn't she? How could you not tell me you loved her? She was my _best friend_!" I wince. She _was._

I had never heard the princess yell. She had always been calm, cool, collected.

"We couldn't tell anyone," I tried to explain. She shook her head.

"Rose was my _best friend! _We have been through everything together? And you! Do you really think I would have told? That I wouldn't have kept your secret?" For a lack of response, I look down at the ground.

"I know, princess. It's just...My job and...I don't know. We just...couldn't."

She seemed to study me. "How...how serious was it? Was it just you?" I shook my head.

"She felt the same way." _I hope... _"It's just... we couldn't be together. The age difference, and I was her mentor, and...and you." Her eyes narrowed.

"What does that mean?" she demanded. I could see her hands were shaking, and tears stained the corners of her eyes.

"It means... It means that I wouldn't allow myself to get close to her. We were both to be your guardians. I always told her that if I allowed myself to love her," I sighed, casting my eyes downwards, "That I wouldn't focus on protecting you. I would throw myself in front of her." I saw regret flash in her eyes, along with guilt.

"You could have worked it out. You could have been together!" I shrugged, although this is exactly what we had been planning. I thought of the kiss, just before we went to the caves. We thought we had solved our problems. I should have made her stay back. I should have made her stay here. I should have...

"I don't know," I replied. "I tried to keep myself away from her. Tried to stay distant."

When I looked up, her eyes were still focused on mine. "It doesn't matter! You still should have told me! Didn't she trust me?"

"Of course she trusted you! She trusted you more than anyone else, Princess," I sigh again. "She would do anything for you."

"I'm coming with you." This shocked me. I met her gaze this time, staring deep into her eyes.

"No, you're not. You don't even know..."

She sighs again, pushing her blonde hair from her face. "Yes, I do. The mall. In Missoula. I heard you two talking about-" Tears leaked from her eyes, and she quickly brushed it away. My own eyes are growing wet. "You both said that you would rather die than become a strigoi."

We lapse into silence once again. This is the most I have ever spoken to my charge. My former charge. It was not a conversation I wish to have.

"I have to go," I whisper. She lets out a small sob.

"And I know she would want me to stay. To protect you. But I love her, Vasilisa. I made her a promise." _You also promised you wouldn't let anything happen to her. _

"You'll die," she whispered. A knot coils within my stomach.

"It's not about me. I have to do this. For her." I bite back tears.

"She's gone," she whispers. I nod.

"Not yet. She will be," the words sear my throat. "I'm sorry," I whisper, before turning towards the gate. I wonder if Mason was still here. I wonder if he ever was.

I gaze down the long stretch of road before me. And I set off. Off to kill the woman that I love.

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**Please review! :)**


	3. A Reunion

Small bursts of light danced around my eyes. It revealed a crowded floor; couples twisting and grinding to the electronic, pulsating beat. I sat nervously off to the side, simply an observer, in the same seat as I always did. I was wearing a sports jacket and a button-up shirt. I longed for my usual T-shirt and jeans, but this was not an option. Not here. I had never been the type to splurge on something as trivial as clothing, but I needed to blend in and keep suspicion away.

A young girl, much too young to be in a place like this, walked up to my table. She was wearing a _very _short dress and an obscene amount of makeup. The mentor in me wanted to demand she change, but I held my tongue. She was about Rose's age, and just seeing her made my heart twist painfully in my chest.

"Do you want to dance?" she asks, raising her eyebrows in a come-hither fashion.

"No," I reply gruffly, and watch as the rejected girl stalk off into the crowd, most likely looking for a man who will actually take advantage of her.

I knew that strigoi often staked out nightclubs and bars, preying on drunk and weakened humans to feed from. I guessed Rose would be here, of all places, as it seemed like her type of atmosphere, as a darkened, souless version of the woman that I love. Loved.

I honestly had no idea where she would actually be, if she was even here, but Spokane seemed to be the only place I could think of her returning to. I had staked out this particular club several nights now, but had no luck. I figured I should move on, admit there was nothing here, but I couldn't help but think as soon as I left, she would come.

With a sigh, I grab my long since discarded jacket on the back of my chair and weaved through the pounding bodies of dancers.

I blink rapidly for my eyes to adjust to the solid night. The cool air penetrates through my dark shirt, and shrug into my jacket. As I move past the building, I heard several quiet yelps and loud noises over the pulsing music. My fingers pul the stake from my pocket, taking on an instinct of their own. I charge down the brick alley, only to see a group of three, four, strigoi, taking out several humans.

I run full force into them, staking the one closet to me in the back. The element of surprise didn't last long, though, because the three others turned to face me. I searched their faces. None of them Rose.

So I kick into battle-mode, ducking under a flying fist and knocking out someone's feet from under them. I jump up and shove one strigoi into the other, sending them tumbling backwards into the brick. I slam my fist down onto the ground, piercing the strigoi who lay there.

The others had regained their balance, and lunge towards me. I dodge one, but grab it's wrist as it moved past me. I spin and lodge the stake between it's ribs, then used it's body as a shield of the other's attack. I take several hits to the chest, one to the eye, but my adreneline is running too high.

Suddenly, the strigoi falls to the ground at my feet. I don't miss the opportunity. But he turns and grabs me, and we are both wrestling on the ground. He pins me, but I slide my wrist free and shove it into his chest. He collapses on top of me.

With a grunt, I push off the heavy body. A man floats over me. He has a half broken brick fallen from the building in one hand, obviously having clubbed the strigoi on the back of the head. He was one hell of a human to have taken on a strigoi.

He offers me a hand, and I take it. But when I rise, I see this man is not who I originally thought. He was not a human at all. We look at the unconsious bodies of the men around us.

Ours eyes meet, and I gaze at the man that I have not seen in almost ten years.

"Belikov," he smirks. I give a sarcastic grin in return.

"Zmey."


	4. Zmey

Abe Mazur smiled and brushes his heavily ringed hands over his sleeves and chest. I gingerly touch my throbbing eye, remembering when Rose had gotten a black eye several months ago. _Oh God, Rose._

"My my, Belikov, I haven't seen you since you were, what, fifteen?" I turn back to his smug face. Although he tries to look intimidating, I can see the last hint of fear in his eyes from the attack.

"Yes," I say gruffly, almost defensively. The groans of the Guardians on the ground float up and echo off of the walls. There was only two of them, and if one of them was taken by surprise... Four strigoi could easily take them on.

"What are _you_ doing here?" I blurt. He smirks, much to my annoyance, but immediately sobers.

"A matter of family business," he says stiffly. His tone is icy, and I drop the topic.

"And _me? _I thought you were working at the academy." It is my turn to smirk.

"Spying on me, Zmey?" After a moment of no response, I continue. "Personal business." He raises his eyebrows, but stays silent.

"Small world."

I snort. "Too small, apparently." We brush ourselves off once again, and I turn to leave.

"Try to avoid getting dragged into a back alley next time," I call over my shoulder. I can hear a sarcastic snort in the background.

I hope to never see that man again. And I couldn't help but wonder what poor sucker calls themself his family.

...

I dropped onto the hard bed, pulling off each of my shoes and setting them on the side of the mattress. The hotel was fairly low-class, with a stark room and a closet-sized bathroom. I didn't have a fortune saved, but it would be enough, hopefully, to complete this mission. But what of my return?

I thought of Mikhail, returning unsuccessful and broken, being rejected to the basement of the Court. I had called him immediately when I needed to get into the prison to see Dashkov. It had some advantages, but I knew I would be unable to live happily when working in such a horrible place. But I would never truely be happy. Not without her. Mikhail was still mourning Sonya. He probably would for the rest of his life.

But he had returned and was put into an inferior position. I would probably never to be able to return to the academy, certainly not as Princess Vasilisa's Guardian.

And Rose. What if I never found her? Could I live with myself knowing she was out there, a sick and twisted version of the person she used to be? Maybe I should just give up. I was being ridiculous, chasing a fantasy that I could never reach. And even, by some chance, if I happened to find her, there would be no ending that would satisfy me. Unless, of course, Adrian's logic had been all wrong, and she was alive. Or dead.

I fell asleep, still fully clothed, just as the sun began to rise over the city.


	5. Ashes to Ashes

_"No, Rose. Your form is wrong. You need to focus." She rolls her eyes and tries again. My arm jerks up to block her blow, and I send a hand into her gut. She falls backwards onto the mats, groaning and panting. _

_"Rose, _focus_," I say firmly. She glares at me, then slowly stands back up. "Again."_

_A weak punch is thrown at my face. I duck and lunge, pushing into her. She falls back again, slamming against the mats with a thud. _

_"_Focus_, Rose!" I sigh. She jumps back up, crossing her arms over her chest. _Oh no.

_"I. Am. Trying!" she hisses. _

_"You're not!" I argue back. "You're exams are in less than five months! You're distracted. You can't afford to be distracted. Not now!"_

_She growls, her eyes narrowing. "Would you just leave me alone? It's one day, Comrade. I've got some stuff to deal with, okay?" _

_I have no patience today. I was woken early, earlier, to attend a meeting. I had to increase practises due to the rapidly approaching field exams. So, instead of acting like a calm, proper mentor, I argue back. What is it with her that makes me act like this?_

_"Well, you don't have to deal with your own attitude! You _are_ distracted, you are _not _trying!" She cries out in exasperation, throwing up her hands. _

_"And _you_ don't have to deal with getting the crap kicked out of you twice a day! Or your best friend's mental health! Or your friend's death! Or rumors that spread like wildfire! Or your mentor's stupid zen lessons!" she yells. _

_Oh God. I had no idea. "Rose-" I start. _

_"Just never mind!" she cries turning to leave. "Leave me alone, okay?" Being hot-headed as always, she turns and storms off. _

_I sigh and rub my eyes. I suppose I owed her an apology. Guilt already started to bubble up within me. _

_"Dimitri?" I look up at Rose, who is fast approaching. My muscles tense. I wait for her hand to strike across my face, or a kick, or something. She walked right up to me, and kept going._

_Her lips met mine. I was so shocked I stumbled backwards. She kept coming, pushing against me. We hit something solid, and there was no where to go. I felt myself kiss her back, slowing but passionately. Oh God. _

Someone could see you_, I thought. It was like cold water thrown on a fire; diffused but still smoldering. I gently pulled away, hoping she wouldn't take it as rejection. We were both panting. She stepped back, and I realized I had been pinned against the wall. She, apparently, noticed this too, and smirked. _

_"I'm sorry," she whispers. "See you later, _Guardian Belikov," _she smiles and turns to leave. I give a weak nod as she departs the gym, trying to make my legs work again. _

_..._

I wake with a start. I am sweating and aching, remembering the kiss. It was just a few months before she was taken. _Stolen. _

Longing pulsed through me. _Get it together, Belikov. _But the only one who seemed to keep me sane, as well as pick me apart, was her. Tears sprung to my eyes, but I pushed them down.

I needed comfort. Without hesitation, I picked up the phone sitting beside my bed. It rang exactly seven times before someone picked up.

"Hello. Olena Belikova." I squeezed my eyes shut, just listening to her voice.

"Hello. Hello? I can't hear you, so I'm going to hang up. Try again later." The electronic buzzing rang through my ear. I sighed and put the phone back on it's cradle. The provided me with an even bigger ache in my chest.

I rose from my bed, shoving my shoes onto my feet. My eye was throbbing even more than when I had gone to bed. One look in the mirror, and I se that I have obtained a wicked black eye. I rush from the hotel, glad to invite the cool air onto my skin. I've forgotten my duster, and wrap my arms around myself to keep warm. It is just before dawn, and the sun is not yet up to war away the cold. Although I am not on a human's schedule, as I am up all night staking out clubs, I am not completely on a vampire schedule, either.

Suddenly, I hear a shuffling behind me. I spin and am knocked right off my feet by a force so fast I can't even see more than a blur. It hits my throat, preventing me from crying out. Strigoi. I gasp and reach instinctively into my pocket. Empty. Crap.

I jump to my feet. The man circles me, red eyes blazing.

"Ah, Belikov. No stake?" he hisses. I gasp and choke, dodging his punch.

"How...do you...know...my name?" I croak. He smiles and laughs.

"A little bird told me. She also told me to keep an eye out for you." I immediately tense and dodge another attack.

"Who. Told. You?" He smiles again.

"I think you know who, Belikov. Pretty little thing. Vicious, though..." He hits me hard across the face, and I stumble back.

"Rose? Did Rose send you?" He smiles, a wicked glint flashing in his blood red eyes. His hand flies out and he clutches my neck.

"Yeah, Hathaway. Fiesty girl. She says you better watch out. Doesn't want you on her trail. She says to warn you. If you find her, she won't hesitate. Lesson number one, or something like that." He leans closer, threateningly close, holding me by the throat. "And this time, she says, it won't matter about you two in the past. She can beat you, now. She'll kill you. And she'll enjoy it."

I slam my forehead into his, releasing his grip and making my head pound. I punch him, again and again, and kick his feet out from under him. I jump on top of him. He rolls over onto me, and I struggle against him.

"I won't stop," I hiss, turning him over. "Not until she's dead." I grip his throat, pushing him down into the grass.

He gives a small smile. "No, she's _undead. _And if she has her way, you will be, too." I keep the horror from my face.

A spark of sun rises over the trees. I hear the scream of the strigoi as he turns to ash in my hands. I stand, my legs and hands shaking, and make my way into the hotel, brushing dust from my clothing.


	6. Survival

**Yay! This is one of my favourite chapters I've written so far! So? Any suggestions, comments, questions, etc. etc?**

* * *

The moon broke through the skylights, drowning it's light in the fluorescent ones. Laughter and the buzz of mindless chatter floated around me, although it never penetrated my ears. Just surrounded me. How carefree all of these people were; how unburdened.

I stalk silently past a few scarce people. The place would close in a matter of minutes. I need to be fast. The few people make me almost invisible, unlike the crowd of people who might notice me during the day. But it also makes my job that much more dangerous.

With a quick surveillance, I push open the _Staff Only _door and disappear down the hallway, dodging several mops and shelves of paper towel and hand sanitizer. I slip into another door. The stairwell is musty and mold covered. The bottom of the stairs leads simply to a winding, thin hall. Dirt ws embedded into the walls and the floor. Several more shelves held electrical supplies and toilitries.

The fluorescent lights buzz over my head. I reach around my back, pushing my duster out of the way to gently touch my fingers to the stake. _You're in a mall. A _human _mall. __Relax. It's probably long since abandoned. She's not here. She can't be here. _But my instinct isn't convinced. I can recall Rose, biting back tears, shaking so hard on the chair I was afraid she would fall right off.

_"...and they took us down the stairs. It was this tiny hallway, I couldn't see where it ended. We didn't see anything... Except," she cleared her throat. "Except for this writing... on the wall."_

_"What did it say, Rose?" Alberta whispered. _

Moving down the corridor, my pulse slammed against my chest.

_"It was a list..." her voice was no more than a whisper._

My breathing grew ragged. My hand went to my stake instinctively.

_"D...B...C...O...T...D...V...L...D...Z...S...I..." she recited. _

This is it. My hands shake and I have to force myself to continue.

My heart beat is pulsating in my ears. The black writing seems to burn into the walls; into my eyes. It is slightly faded, but still obvious.

D  
B  
C  
O  
T  
D  
V  
L  
D  
Z  
S  
I

_"The names," she said. "Of the royal families."_

I ran my hands gingerly over the letters. _Rose, _said a voice inside my head, _stood right here. Right where you're standing. _It made my heart ache.

_Get a hold of yourself, Belikov. She's gone. She's not coming back. _

The only thing that was _not _what she had described about the list was one small detail. Perhaps she forgot, but knowing Rose, she would remember. She was a smart girl. Especially when it came to the princess.

No, this one detail was recent. Probably, I was actually almost certain, that it was after Rose was turned.

And this tiny, incredibly significant detail chilled me to my very core. _The bond can't be broken without me knowing!_

The letter D, representing the Dragomir name, was circled.

...

I have never run so fast in my life. I slam my fist against the doors. Locked. I give a cry of despair and run down into the dark abyss of the corridor.

It twists and turns, and I follow it blindly, hoping this is not a dead end, trying desperately to get to the nearest pay phone. _Oh God, please don't let me be late. _The floor suddenly takes a sharp slope upwards. I charge upwards and see a thin, beckoning door at the end of the hall. I sob with relief as it opens, and I charge into the pouring rain.

My leather boots spray up water, I am trying to keep my balance on the slick grass. Square windows of light appear from the heavy rain and darkness. A bus station. _The _bus station. I push myself into the small privacy dividers, and pull change from my wallet.

Coins splay across the cement, and I shove whatever I can find into the slot.

It rings once, twice, three times before the princess picks up.

"Hello?" her voice is slow and sloppy. My pulse quickens even more.

"Princess!" I scream into the phone. She gasps.

"Guardian Belikov? Dimitri, is that you?"

"Yes, Princess. Please, please tell me you're okay. Are you alright? Where are you?" I count the seconds until she responds.

"Yeah, Guardian Belikov, I'm fine. I'm at the academy..." I give a loud sigh. I must have woken her. Of course, it was almost midnight.

"Oh thank God," I say, giving a heaving, dry sob in relief.

"Dimitri? Are you okay? Did you find her? _Are you alright?" _

"Yes, Princess, I'm fine. But...it's Rose!" Another gasp from the other end.

"Did you find her? Is she...alive?" her voice is now shaking.

"Yes!" I yell into the receiver. "You're in danger, Princess!"

"Vasilisa! GET OUT!"


	7. A Proposal

I tap my foot anxiously on the floor of the stained carpet of the bus. My heart was pounding desperately in my chest. _She's your charge. You took a vow to protect her. And now she could be dead all because you left her. _I shudder at the thought. But I had to, right? I couldn't help but wonder if I had done the right thing. Rose and I had tried to stay away for the simple reason that we might put each other before Vasilisa.

But we thought we had figured it out; found a way to be together. And then she was taken; turned. Perhaps this was a punishment. Thousands of years of tradition making us pay for our attempts to work around the rules. And now, I had done just that. Put Rose ahead of the Princess, my charge. I had promised Vasilisa that I would fight for her, but I had promised Rose that I would protect her. And now I was forced to choose between them. Promises, promises.

But now, Rose was out for the Princess. I was almost sure of it. She had an advantage, if the bond wasn't broken. I could only imagine the status she would gain by elliminating the only Dragomir. The last remaining Princess. Her best friend. They really were souless creatures of the night.

And surely, if I got in her way, I would be killed. Or turned.

The bus rolls to a painful stop. I throw myself into the aisle and am first off of the bus, although I am sitting near the back. Throwing my backpack over my shoulder, I head to the front of the station.

A sheer black car sits proudly against the line of yellow taxes. The windows are tinted so darkly they are impossible to see through. The car of a vampire. I approach it, and someone unfolds themself from the driver's side.

"Tasha?" I gasp, my jaw falling open. She smiles and throws her arms around me. The warmth is familiar but somehow uncomforting, as if Rose could walk around the corner and make a jealous joke about the two of us.

"Hi, Dimka. Thank God you're alright." I hug her back, and we break away.

"What- what are you doing here?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Well, seeing as you are no longer property of the Adademy, they had no responsibility to come and pick you up. Luckily," she joked, a glint sparking in her eyes, "_Someone_ volunteered to come and pick you up." She winked and I laughed. It was so easy being with her. How easy it would have been, to have just let her take me away. But I would long for Rose. I would feel empty without her. Just as I felt now. _Was I destined to lose her?_

I move into the passenger's side and lean back into the seat, closing my eyes.

_"I _did _get my driver's, Comrade," she laughed._

_I shift my eyes carefully towards her. "Compulsion wasn't neccessary, right?" _

_She snorted. "No. You're going like, ten miles below the speed limit." I roll my eyes. _

_"It's snowing, Rose." She snorted again. _

_"And it's this magical weather that makes men act like girls?" I roll my eyes once again and pull the van over. Her eyes brighten. _

_"Seriously?"_

_I sigh. "Until we stop for gas." _

_She pumps her fist and squeals, wrapping her arms around me. _

"Hello? Anybody there?" I snap back to reality.

"Sorry," I mumble.

Tasha gives a weak smile, as if she travelled back with me to the trip to Rose's Qualifier.

"Are you alright?" _No. The woman I loved has been turned into something evil and unnatural, and I have to kill her in order to save her best friend. My charge. _

"Yeah," I grunt.

We ride the rest of the way with the car filled with Tasha's one-sided chatter. We arrive at the academy a few hours later.

I jump from the car and sling the backpack over my shoulder. "Thanks, Tash." I lean in and kiss her cheek. We pause for a moment, an awkward quiet filling the space between us.

Tasha rests her hand on the side of my face. "Dimitri, I know you loved her." She lets my eyes widen in surprise before continueing. "You know I know you better than that. And I know she hasn't been gone very long, and I can never replace her, but will you at least...consider..."

I sigh. Tasha is intelligent, beautiful, we _fit _together. But I couldn't except her offer...not when my heart was somewhere else. But now? The only thing that was holding me back from her was one simple reason. _She isn't Rose. _

But Rose was gone. My heart would never heal, but perhaps I could move on. I could be like Mikhail. "I will, Tasha. I promise." She nods and we depart, an aching throb in my chest.

...

I run through the grounds, ignoring the stares of students and teachers alike. And why not? I had disappeared off the face of their world, and almost three weeks later, appear back; no reason, no warning. At least not one that they could understand.

I move into the Moroi campus and pound on Vasilisa's door. I pray she's here, and not on one of her infamous romantic escapades as Rose loved to complain about so often. But she opens the door, and steps back, as if I am a ghost.

"Guardian Belikov?" she gasps. I smile weakly.

"Hello, Princess."

She looks me up and down before raising a brow. "You owe me an explanation."


	8. She's Mad

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**Hi! I know I'm really fast at updating these... And just to explain... In the last chapter, Lissa was woken up at midnight because the Academy switched out of a nocturnal schedule for a while after the attack for extra safety measures...**

* * *

Alberta had been shocked to see me. Quite bluntly, she told me that I would not be Vasilisa's guardian. She told me I would be extra protection. Nothing more, nothing less. I reluctantly agreed, knowing my "punishment" was just and fair, although I ached to prove myself to her; to everyone. It was a part of who I was. I always strove to do better, to be better. Having my peers look down upon me frustrated me.

So now, I patrolled the edges of the school, checking for anything usual. The school was considering changing back to a nocturnal schedule, so extra guards were in order. Unfortunately, until the school did this, I was stuck guarding the school from strigoi during daylight hours.

I pace back and forth around the perimeter, each time passing the cabin. _The _cabin. My head throbs and my chest aches, and I try to pretend I don't see it. But finally, the siren's call of the cabin lures me to the edge, and I enter.

The place is clean, tidy. I give each piece of furniture a wide berth, stopping in the centre. It looks as if we weren't even there; as if any sign that the night had existed had been covered up and forgotten; as if what we had shared never happened. But as I finally give and lay down on the bed, I discover the pillows still smell of us. For some strange reason, it comforts me, as well as make me feel worse.

As horrible as it sounded, I wish I had lost her completely, if she was dead, her soul would be unchanged, unaltered. She would still be, Rose. And I would be laying here, grieving over my lost lover, imagining the night we spent together, as if were frozen in time, unlike now, where I am imagining her with chalky skin, red eyes, and feeding.

The thought tears through me. I jump from the bed and exit the cabin, without looking back. A quick look at my watch reveals that my shift has ended three minutes ago. It was late afternoon, classes have ended about four hours ago.

Without anything better to do, I decide to check on Vasilisa. Although she is no longer my charge, I feel the responsibility to protect her. I owed it to Rose.

So I go to find the Princess, who I can guess is either in her room or with Adrian and Christian. Seeing as there is still a few hours until the students must be in their own individual rooms, I check the lounge.

Sure enough, I find her sitting in the lounge right away; her blond hair standing out starkly against the dark backdrop. I can almost see Rose beside her, as she so often was.

Brown and blond, dark and light. They were so completely opposite from each other. Even their futures were destined to be different. Vasilisa would soon be the face of the Dragomirs, possibly even in line for the throne, while Rose would be in the background; silent, observing. There was only one aspect of guardianship that I had ever doubted from Rose. Invisibility. _Guardians should not be seen or heard. _But my eyes had always travelled to her, even with the Princess in full spotlight. It wasn't her fault. But no matter how hard she tried, she could never have been invisible. Not to me.

Vasilisa spots me from across the room and gives me a small smile, and I can see she is not really enjoying herself, despite what she displays. Although we stand many feet apart, I can read her expression like a book. _This isn't right. Not when she's gone. It will never be the same. _

I nod solemnly. "Princess, Christian," I flick my eyes sideways. "Lord Ivashkov."

Adrian waves his drink in my directions. "Belikov."

"My my," came a voice to my right. "_Who _is this?" I turn to meet the blue-gray eyes of a young girl a year or so older than Rose and the Princess. She had long brown hair, although it has obviously been styled strenuously and was tall and slim like a typical Moroi, although she had some features that could be considered dhampir qualities. Her facial features were softer than Rose's. I thought of her unkept beauty, and suddenly, this young woman seemed too perfected and airbrushed.

I immediately shame myself for comparing the girl to Rose.

"Adrian," the girl says almost seductively. "_Why _have you never introduced me to your friend?" She smiles at me.

"We're _not _friends," Adrian and I say simultaneously. The young woman crosses her arms over her chest, and Adrian sighs.

"Belikov, meet the lovely Avery Lazar. Avery, Belikov." I recognized the name immediately. The notorious party-girl daughter of Eugene Lazar, the future headmaster.

I bow grandly, giving my respects to the Lazar family, if not the girl. "Dimitri Belikov. Pleasure to meet you," I say flatly. She giggles, and Adrian rolls his eyes.

"Well, Avery," he interrupts loudly. "If you two are done, would you like to get a drink, my dear?" Avery looks once over at me, smiling mischieviously. I blink, indifferently, and she pouts momentarily, before taking his offer. The two depart arm in arm, followed by one of her guardians.

I stare, confused, after them, before returning to the Princess. She smiles softly at me.

"Hi, Guardian Belikov." I nod once again. Normally I would at least try to smile, but today, I just didn't have the energy.

"I just came to check on you, Princess." It pained me, and worried me, to know that Vasilisa had been denied the chance to leave the academy. If it were up to me, she would be taken far away from here. But the other guardians assured that this was the safest place to be. Besides, Rose could find her, anywhere she went.

"I'm okay. Really," she assures. The tight voice of Kirova crackles over the intercom, warning students to return to their rooms. I offer to walk Vasilisa back to her's, and she agreed. With a quick kiss to Christian, she joins me, and we depart.

"Dimitri," she whispers when we are about halfway across campus. "I can feel her." I tense immediately, and stare at the Princess, dumbfounded.

"What-?"

She sighs and wraps her arms around herself. "When Rose came back from Spokane, after the strigoi..." I nod. "Well, she started to take the spirit side effects. I think death brings her closer to me." I resist the urge to gag.

"When she causes someones death..." I shiver, disgusted by the idea of her taking a life.

Vasilisa looks up at me. "Sometimes, I can be completely fine, well, as okay as I can be..." she gives a moment of silence. "And feel angry, or just..._cold."_ I nod again, knowing she doesn't mean physically cold. "Or I can just have fed, and suddenly feel...hungry."

_Oh God. _I almost gag again. The thought of Rose's bloodlust makes me sick to my very core.

"I mean, it didn't happen too strongly with just the strigoi, but I think it might be because it wasn't really a life. They're undead, you know? But a moroi life, or a dhampir life, or even a human life..." she shivers. I had never been the fainting type, but I felt extremely lightheaded, as if I could keel over into the grass.

"She's mad, Dimitri," the Princess whispers. "She wants me."


	9. Hungover

A thin layer of night settled around the academy. The students were all in their classes, everyone too afraid to cut classes now that the nocturnal schedule was reintroduced. I sit in the cafeteria, staring out of the darkly tinted windows at the pounding rain and sipping a coffee from the staff room, the grinds settiling on my tongue. I can almost hear Rose behind me.

_"You drink too much of that stuff, Comrade. After a while you won't be able to function at all without it. That's what coffee does to you..." _

I grunt and put down my coffee cup; it suddenly tasting bitter.

"Hi, Dimka," a voice says cheerfully behind me. I glance up just as Tasha Ozera takes the seat across from me. I nod and give some incoherent response. She smiles softly.

"How are you doing?" I sigh in response. Tasha knows about me and Rose, and she seemed to realize how painful my loss was. She knows what it is like to lose someone she loved painfully deep to the darkness of strigoi.

"I'm okay, I suppose," I shrug, although my chest feels hollow and numb.

She nods. "A good day, then?" I nod. My heart is just not in for mindless chatting. I swallow a mouthful of the bitter coffee and return my gaze back to the window.

"Dimitri?" My hand warms as I feel her palm press against the top of mine. I reluctantly drag my gaze towards her.

"You need to get out. Do something alone. You just keep becoming more and more withdrawn. There's more to life than just work."

I nod. "You're right. There was training Rose." Silence falls, and I take another sip of my rapidly cooling drink. She sighs loudly, brushing her dark hair from her eyes.

"You know what I mean, Dimitri." I pull my hand away from hers sharply. Her face radiates hurt, and I immediately regret my actions. It is not Tasha fault that Rose has been taken from me. Changed.

"I can't, Tasha. She was my life. Literally, she was all that I had time for." I give a sharp laugh; it is course and scratchy from disuse. "Between practises and trips and field experience and punishment, I didn't have much time for anything but her." I choke down the emotion in my voice. "And now, she's gone."

Her hand slides up to my cheek. I lean into it, taking comfort from an old friend. "Believe me, Dimitri, I know it's hard to let go. But you have to move on. Rose is dead, Dimitri."

I snap my head up and shove my chair backwards. It scrapes loudly against the vinyl floor. "No," I say coldly, emotionlessly. "Rose is a strigoi." And I depart, leaving Tasha staring after me.

* * *

The next few days, I avoid as much contact as possible with others, although I kept an eye out for Vasilisa. She seemed to be getting closer and with the Avery girl, spending much of her time with her. Although I had never been one to be involved in gossip, but I had heard several disapproving rumours of Vasilisa following Miss Lazar to more than a few parties. I was starting to like that girl less and less, especially since she was putting the Princess's future at risk.

But there was nothing I could do. I couldn't simply barge into the room and pull Avery away from Vasilisa, demanding she stay away from her, that this was against the rules. I wasn't her mentor, and I certainly wasn't as furious as I had been with Jesse, but my suspicion was still mounting.

I decided to check on her, out of impulse, and was shocked at what I found.

"Vasilisa?" She turned immediately at her name.

"Guardian Belikov? Is something wrong?" Her pace was the slightest bit paler, her eyes bloodshot.

"Princess, are you okay?" She nods, wincing at the rattling of her obvious headache.

"Yeah... I'm fine, Guardian Belikov..." I stare deep into her eyes, and she looks, away, looking slightly embarrassed. No matter what had happened to change us, I was still a teacher to her, and she was still nursing a wicked hangover.

"Vasilisa, there's something-"

"Lissa! Hey!" A voice from behind her calls. The princess turns to face a wildly motioning Avery. "Come _on, _girl! We're gonna be late!"

She looks back up at me. "Sorry Dimitri, gotta go." And I watch and she runs off, balancing on high heels and a dress that the brotherly side of me wanted to drag her back and demand she cover up.

I stalk off to cover my shift. I can't help but think something is wrong, here. Seriously wrong.

* * *

**Short one! I know! Forgive me! I'm open to any ideas, if you guys would like to see something in this story... Your comments are always appreciated!**


	10. Don't Hesitate

_"Did you really kill six strigoi?" I nodded and leaned in to kiss her again. And again. And again. _

_"Wow," she breathed._

_I trail my hands down the sides of her face. "Don't worry. You'll have a lot more than me someday."_

_"Do you feel guilty about it?" she asked._

_My mind was going so quickly, I couldn't comprehend what she was saying. "Hmm?"_

_"Killing them. You said in the van that it was the right thing to do, but it still bothers you. It's why you go to church, isn't it? I see you there, but you aren't really into the services."_

_Once again, Rose seemed to have read right through me. The smallest of smiles slipped passed my lips. _

_"How do you know these things? I'm not guilty exactly..just sad sometimes. All of them used to be human or dhampir or Moroi. It's a waste, that's all, but as I said before, it's something I have to do. Something we all have to do. Sometimes it bothers me, and the chapel is a good place to think about those kinds of things. Sometimes I find peace there, but not often. I find more peace with you."_

_As I tried to roll us over, she pressed down even farther into my chest. Her lips leaned into my neck, and when she pulled away, her eyes are red-ringed. _

_Horror consumed me. I leaned away from her, which obviously didn't get me very far. _

_Her skin is suddenly pale and chalky. She tilted her head and smiled wickedly. "Don't hesitate, Comrade." And her lips attacked my neck, and all that I can hear is the tearing of flesh._

I shoot up with a cry. Panting. Darkness. Rose. Gone. Head pounding. Heart racing. My room. My bed. My reality.

My body is tense and ready, although the only danger I face is the darkness. I swing my shaking legs over the side of the bed and push myself up. I can still feel the sharp teeth against my hot and moist skin. It sends shivers down my spine. _Don't hesitate, Comrade. _

I swallow the large knot that has accumulated in my throat during my nightmare. I wonder if it was a scream.

A quick look at my alarm clock, and I realize it is only several hours after noon, when most vampires are still deep in sleep.

Without a second thought, _don't hesitiate, Comrade, _I throw on clothing and my coat and burst from the door of my tiny, shrinking room. The sun beats down warmly on my back, seeping through my thick jacket. In these past few days, I've realize that I do, in fact, miss the sun. More than I had initially thought.

I move around the academy, walking quickly to try and leave the dream behind. But it clings to me like a layer of sweat that I can't brush off.

When I reach the Moroi buildings, the pounding of music draws my attention. I glance at my watch again and sigh. Royal Moroi. In the wake of death and destruction, there is always a party.

I move up to the third floor, the mentor side of me coming through, following the steady, pounding music, and knock on the door. When no one answers, I push through. The more, the merrier, I suppose. I slipped through the crowd, the alcohol apparently making me invisible. And over the heads of all of the Moroi, I see Vasilisa and _Avery _in the midst of it all. My dream is forgotten, well, pushed aside, and I approach the Princess.

She is swaying back and forth, a drink in her hand. I march up to her.

"Princess," I hiss, my voice harsh. Apparently the alcohol took the edge off of everything, and she smiles and giggles at my sharp tone.

"Guardian Belikov? Is something wrong?" she slurs, looking up at me.

I clench my hands at my sides. "Yes, Princess, something _is _wrong," I growl. "What's _wrong _is that Ro-"

"Dimitri, is it?" I grit my teeth and swing to face one Miss Avery Lazar.

"Guardian Belikov," I spit. I had never demanded that Rose call me by my professional name, in fact the only time she did so was to let me know I'd messed up, but this Lazar girl was trouble, and I wanted her as far away from me, and the Princess, as possible.

Avery steps forward and runs one of her thin hands down my chest. I grab her wrist and glare at her warningly. "Miss Lazar, you are stepping out of line."

She smiles seductively, and fails miserably. "I think you want this," she whispers.

And just like that, I cannot look away. There is something attractive about this young woman, not physically attractive, but some essensce she contains that draws me towards her. She smiles again, and I find myself unable to look anywhere else but her eyes. She leans towards me, and I can't move, can't breathe, can't-

"Guardian Belikov?" I snap out of my trance. "_What_ are you doing here?"

I turn to the drunken face of the Princess, shaking my head. "I'm taking you out of here." I grab her wrist and start to drag her towards the door.

"Hey!" she squeaks. "Let me go! I can do what I want! I'm seventeen!" I look her in the eyes, seeing her bloodshot eyes and unfocused expression. She gulps again. "I'm seventeen."

It is so close to what Rose had said when I had thrown Jesse from the lounge that it makes me cringe. "Yes, Princess. You're seventeen. And in less than three months, you will be an adult. You will be the face of the Dragomirs. Is _this_," I motion to her crumpled clothing, bloodshot eyes and swaying figure. "How you want to be seen? How you want your _family _to be seen?"

She blushes and looks down. I clear my throat. "Vasilisa. By some chance the bond has not been broken. Rose knows where you are, even like this. You have an advantage, being able to feel her. So what are you doing? Numbing the bond? She knows you're at the academy, but you have no idea where she is. You're putting not only your own life in danger, but everyone else's as well." I sigh, running my hand through my hair.

"Rose will not come alone. We need to find her before she comes. You need to tell me where she is!" My voice holds a pleading tone. She swallows, but remains silent.

"Go back to your room, Princess." She nods and sulks away. I sigh and begin my walk back to my own room.

Yes, I needed to kill Rose. Knowing her, she would not come alone. If Vasilisa could only allow the bound to filter through, we might have an idea; an advantage. But when I found Rose, I would have to kill her. _Kill _her. I wasn't sure if I could do it. Could I pretend that nothing happened between us? Could I just take her life without a second thought? _I find more peace when I'm with you._ I had originally set out to kill her, but now? I wasn't sure if I could do it.

_Don't hesitate, Comrade. _


	11. Letters

Despite my talk with Vasilisa, she seemed to be becoming closer and closer with Avery. It infuriated me, not only because she was putting her own life at risk, or everyone else's, but also, she was jeopardizing Rose's soul. I had made a promise to Rose, she had told me that she would rather die than live as a monster. But I had also made a promise to Vasilisa. I had sworn an oath to protect her, to follow her and to obey her. But how could I choose between Vasilisa's freedom and Rose's soul? _Promises, promises. _

I was bound by promises, attached to two different people by my word. How could I choose, when Rose would obviously want me to care for the Princess? Taking her away from Avery physically would protect her, but it would also eliminate her freedom, her right to choose. Besides, I had no right to do so.

Yes, I was bound by promises. But it was tearing me apart, dividing the line between Rose and Vasilisa that I had thought I had conquered. How naive I was, to think that I could have them both. I loved Rose, I still do, and I would do anything for her, I would die for her, but the Princess was my charge, my job, the other half of my life that I had spent almost my entire existence training for.

I had always known I had been destined to be alone, isolated, and this just proved it. My best friend, my charge, had been murdered by strigoi. I promised myself that I would never let myself get distracted again. But then Tasha Ozera offered me a position that would be incredibly beneficial to both of us, but I was already so attached to Rose that I couldn't bear the thought of leaving. _Rose, Vasilisa. Vasilisa, Rose. _

And then, when I finally allowed myself to become involved with Rose, she was taken from me. I tried to help her, give her what she wanted, but I ended up almost losing Vasilisa in the process.

I sigh and lean over, burying my face in my hands. The sun is just beginning to rise, and I know I should be in bed already, but restlessness consumes my whole body, making this impossible. I am sure Vasilisa is just beginning to get ready for whatever party she will attend tonight, probably devouring her first of many drinks right now.

And Rose is most likely taking shelter from the light, having just fed recently. The very thought of her feeding disgusts me, and I rise to my feet, desperate to forgot the horrible thought. I try to think of her as a dhampir, of her time with me, _not the cabin. Do _not _think of the cabin! _but it only makes my chest ache; an empty, bottomless black hole.

A slow and steady knock draws me, temporarily, from my pain. I push myself off of the mattress and swing open the door. I can almost imagine Rose standing there, a blank, hungry look on her face. _Stop it. _

"Yes?" I saw wearily. The Guardian at the door silently hands me a note. I nod in thanks and wait until he has moved down the hall until I even look at the envelope.

_Belikov_ The writing is delicate and fluid. For one horrid moment, I fear this is from _her, _but I don't recognize the writing, so I gingerly peel back the flap and pull out the letter.

_Belikov,  
I am very sorry to hear about young Rosemarie. I'm sure you are going through  
an extremely difficult time right now, but do not worry, I'm sure they will assign  
you another young woman that you can take advantage of. Contrary to your  
beliefs, I am deeply concerned about the health of young Vasilisa. Her bond mate  
is now unable to take the spirit effects from her. I hope she discovers that there  
is a way to at least help with the darkness. Well, all the best to you and your sick  
and twisted craddle-robbing. Unfortunately, I will be moving from the Court on Friday,  
so you will be unable to contact me on your new love interests. _

_Sincerely,  
-V.D._

My blood ran cold. V.D.

Victor Dashkov.

* * *

I move swiftly across campus, throwing open the door to the Moroi building and taking the steps five at a time. When I reach Vasilisa's door, I begin pounding my fist against it, despite the obscene hours that I am here.

But, to my surprise, Vasilisa appears at the door several seconds later. Her dark makeup is running and her party dress is crumpled. She looks up at me.

"Victor Daskov," I whisper, holding up my note. She nods and sniffs.

Leading me inside, she points to where her letter lays discarded on a desk that is far away from her. I gently hand her my letter and move over to pick up hers.

_Dear Vasilisa,  
I am terribly sorry to hear about the death of young Rosemarie. I give you my  
deepest sympathies. Regardless of how you think of me, Vasilisa, I truely do  
care for you as my own family. Although I am unsure of whether or not the  
bond was broken, I know that the living can not pass between the line of the  
dead, except, of course, the living shadow-kissed. I am concerned about the  
effects spirit will have on you. I may have a way to help you, Vasilisa. I am  
moving to Court on Friday, so you will be unable to see me past that date._

_Sincerely,  
-V.D. _

I look up to find the Princess already staring at me, having finished my letter.

"What's going to happen?" she asks, her voice shaking. I sigh heavily.

"We're going to Court."

* * *

**Thank you so much for your incredible comments! They make me as excited about this story as I hope you are!**


	12. An Old Enemy

The seats are stiff and uncomfortable. I shift uneasily, gripping the onto the armrests. The last time I had ridden on a plane, Rose had come down with a headache and had begun to scream. That was when she had began to ghosts. I still felt guilty about that, not completely believing Rose when she had told me. But then, I knew it was no use. I still wasn't totally convinced, although I was very tempted to give in. But it wouldn't have made a difference. She would still be gone.

The sun is high overhead, or so I have last seen, since all of the plastic shades have been pulled down for the comfort of the Moroi. Several Guardians line the sides of the plane, more than I have imagined would come. But now that Rose was gone, they needed extra protection. Especially where we're going.

The Princess sits ahead with Christian, Adrian, and Avery, unfortunately. Her father, the future headmaster, got her to go along.

Tasha sits beside me, flipping through a book, but obviously not absorbing the information. I lean back against the headrest and close my eyes.

_"What? Why? This could be extremely dangerous at a time like this!" she demands. I sigh._

_"Vasilisa received a letter from Victor Dashkov. He won't talk to me, but I have reason to believe he has information that might be beneficial to the Princess." I hand her the Princess's letter, and she scans it quickly._

_"If you can pack your things quickly, I will allow you to leave tomorrow. With supervison, of course." I nod._

_"Yes, Guardian Petrov."_

_"Take care of her, Belikov."_

"Guardian Belikov? Guardian Belikov?" I snap open my eyes to see the Princess standing beside me. "We're here."

...

We move through the dark, endless halls. The fluorescent lights hum overhead, filling the stark spaces with an echoing buzz. As we approach his cell, I can see the Princess is starting to get nervous. I have never been one for words of comfort, so I stay silent.

When we reach Victor's cell, he is sitting on his bed. His hands are casually behind his head, and his legs are lying one over the other. He looks up as we arrive.

A smile crosses his face, one that makes me want to hit it off of him. This man brings out the worst qualities in me.

"Ah, young Vasilisa." He flicks his gaze to me. "Belikov." I grit my teeth.

"What do you want, Dashkov?" I try to keep my voice smooth and calm. He smirks again.

"You two showed up faster than I expected. And with over 48 hours to spare. Looks you do everything early, Belikov." A growl escapes my throat.

"We're not here to chat, Dashkov. You said you could help the Princess. What did you mean?"

He completely ignores me and turns towards the Princess. "Vasilisa, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of young Rosemarie. Have you begun to feel the spirit's side effects?" She shakes her head, never looking him in the eye.

"No? Well, if you continue to use your spirit, I assure you that you will. Rosemarie is unable to take it from you anymore."

I can't help but blurt out, "Why not?" He glares at me, but answers my questions.

"As I said in my letter, you cannot pass between the line of the living and the dead."

Before I can stop myself, I speak again. "Then why was the bond not broken? Why can Rose still see the Princess?"

"Because Rosemarie is shadow-kissed. She has already crossed the line of the dead. But Vasilisa brought her back."

"So what can I do?" We both turn to the Princess, remembering she is still here.

Victor rises into a sitting position. "Well, since you can't heal the darkness from yourself, perhaps a charmed object may ward off some of the darkness."

_What? _Vasilisa and I exchange glances.

"Wait, what?" she asks. "Heal...the...darkness? Charmed..."

Victor smiles. "Of course. The darkness she takes is a sickness. An illness of the mind. You could have easily healed it. But now, the darkness will be too much a part of you for you to rid yourself of it."

Her jaw falls open. "But- It can't be that simple! I can just, _heal _her?" He shakes his head.

"You _could have. _But Rosemarie is far past that point, Princess." We both flinch at that.

I decide to push my luck of Victor's obvious dislike of me. "What's a _charmed object? _What does that even mean?" I demand, my words harsh and disbelieving. Victor glares at me.

"A charmed object _means,_" he flicked his gaze back to the Princess. "That an object has been embedded with spirit. It contains traces of your element, and helps to heal."

The Princess gaped. "I can _do _that?" He smiles.

"Yes, Vasilisa. It doesn't heal as you can, but it does protect the holder in a certain way."

"Wouldn't using her spirit to infuse objects just make her feel the effects faster? Won't it hurt her more?" He glares at me again.

"I'm _helping _her. And if she figures out how to infuse objects, it will help her in the future."

"Yes, but-"

Victor sighs loudly. "Don't you have a young girl to abuse?"

I take a threatening step forward, but the Princess's voice breaks through my anger.

"We're done here." She turns on her heal and marches out of the prison. I can do nothing but follow.

As we reach the doors, I pass Mikhail.

"Thank you for getting us in here," I whisper, hoping the Princess cannot hear me.

He nods and returns to his post, seeing-without-seeing.

She is waiting for me as I step out of the stairwell.

"I'm going to find Christian, okay?" Her expression is one of hardness and confusion.

We make our way over to a group of small cafès and restaurants. Her friends sit in a row of stools in a dark-lit bar. She takes a seat and dismisses any questions.

"You want a drink, right?" Avery asks, eyeing her expression closely. I wonder if she suspects anything, the deep look she is giving her makes me think that she does.

Vasilisa flicks her gaze towards me, catching my eye long enough to see my disapproving look and small shake of my head. _Don't do it, _I silently warn.

She turns back to her friends. "Yeah, I could definately use a drink."


	13. Guinea Pig

I barely saw Vasilisa for the three days we had been here. She was up late at night with her friends, and she appeared from her room, eyes bloodshot and paler than usual, no earlier than one in the afternoon. Avery and her wild, contagious behaviour was starting to seriously concern me. This was not the Dragomir princess that I knew. This was something else. This was not her behaviour.

From what I had heard, Rose had always been the one to first accept a drink, to first agree to a night out. But I had never really seen this side of Rose. She had _almost _always been responsible. But I had never seen Vasilisa act like this. And it scared me. And with the threat of Rose drawing near, it was all I could do to just stay together, to not fall apart.

But I would, once I truely lost Rose. Because she wasn't really dead. Not yet.

_"Rose, stop squirming," I scold, my tone teasing. "You're distracting me."_

_She snorts. "I've got water running down my back!" she cries._

_"And whose fault is that?" I swerve my eyes momentarily from the road to her. _

_"What? You act like you've never made a snow angel before," she mutters. _

_I laugh. "I've _made _snow angels before!" _

_She gently reaches over and pries my hand from the steering wheel. I feel our fingers intertwine, and I can't help but look back at her._

_"Rose," I automatically warn, but make no attempt to pull away. _

_"Relax, Comrade. I'm not going to seduce you," she teases. "I just...wanted to do this."_

_I bend my elbow and rest my arm on the panel between us, still gripping her hand. She settles comfortably into her chair. We move into a soft silence. That is, until, I notice Rose checking her watch quite frequently. _

_"What?" I ask. "Do you have over plans?" A raise a brow, the way I know she loves. _

_"No," she laughs. "It's been about three minutes and...thirty seconds, and you still haven't pulled away and told me to, I dunno, get out of the car or something."_

_Although her tone is light, I still feel a pang of hurt. "Why would I do that?" I ask, trying to keep the surprise from my voice. _

_"Because you always do. I mean, I know we're just holding hands and stuff, but you never really let me..." she doesn't finish her sentence, but I can catch on. _

_"Rose," I sigh. "You know that's at the academy. It's just because of that. I promise you." She tries to raise only one brow, but ends up raising both in an unintentional confused, as well as surprised, expression. _

_"Really?" she asks. "Do you mean that?" I smile and raise her fingers to my lips, pressing them to her knuckles. _

_"Yes, Rose." She smiles wickedly and leans back into her car seat. _

_"Hmm. I wonder what else I could get away with out here..."_

_I groan. "Roza, try to behave yourself."_

_She puts on a hurt expression. "Behave myself? It's like you don't even know me, Comrade." _

A pounding on my door rouses me from my sleep. I get up lazily and answer the door. Vasilisa stands there, looking quite a bit more sober than I have recently seen her.

"Princess?" She pushes right past me, ignoring my words. I shut the door and turn to see her right behind me.

She stands before me, within the span of a few steps. She smiles winningly and steps forward. I am right against the door, so I have no where to go. She takes another step forward and pulls something out of her pocket.

"A ring?" I ask. It is a plain band, obviously a men's ring. She holds it out and drops it into my palm.

"Well. Put it on." I raise my brow but comply, sliding the ring onto my finger.

It feels as if the ring is white-hot, searing and biting my skin. I cry out in surprise and jerk it off my finger, throwing it to the floor.

The Princess frowned and picks it up without any appearance of pain. Or burning.

"Hmmm," she pondered. "I wonder how that happened..."

I look at her as if she's crazy. "What?"

She sighs. "If I knew how to do this..."

I suddenly clue in. "The ring? You infused it?" She sighs again.

"I _tried_. But it obviously didn't work."

"So I'm you're guinea pig?" I ask.

She looks up. "Well, I can't really feel it... Is that okay?"

I nod. It has to be okay. "Yes, it's fine, Princess."

She smiles brightly. "Oh, by the way, are you ready to go? The plane leaves at seven."

I study her. "You're up...early."

She blushes. "Avery and Adrian left early."

I nod. How different Vasilisa acts when she is not present. "Then I am most certainly ready to go."


	14. Bloodlust

She sits across from me, staring at me intently. Neither of us move, or even breathe. The pulsing tick of a clock echoes in the distance. Silence. Only silence.

I sigh. "Princess," I say, pulling off the ring. "There's nothing. I don't feel anything..."

Her brow furrows and she grabs the silver band from my hand. "Really? I can feel it... The magic, I mean..." I nod.

"Maybe it worked this time?" Her eyes light up at my words.

"Really? You think so?" she asks, returning her gaze to the ring to study it.

She smiles and flounces off of the bed. "Thanks! See you later, Guardian Belikov!" She bounds to the door, probably to go to tell Christian of her success, but stops before she reaches it.

"Guardian Belikov?" she asks quietly.

"Yes, Princess?"

She steps towards me and drops the cool ring into my palm. "I want you to have it." I stare up at her, shocked.

"Princess, I can't. You need it more than-"

She stops me with the simple raising of her palm. "No, I don't. You're the one who needs protection. Besides, I-" she pauses, biting her lip. "Rose wouldn't want me to let anything happen to you. She loved you, Dimitri." My throat constricts and I just nod. The hollow ache in my chest pulses again.

"Besides. I can just make another one, right?"

I vaguely hear the door close, but I am surrounded by thousands of burning needles, pain piercing my skin and raging through my veins.

I think of Rose. Her face, her voice, her scent. I wonder if this is what it would be like for the rest of my life. Pain. A long, long life of pain. But she was coming. Coming for me, coming for the Princess. Vasilisa would be dead, and so would I. Or worse, she would turn me into a monster like her.

And could I do it? Could I actually fight back kill the woman that I had shared so much with? I was fairly sure I could match her in a fight. But it was my emotions, my feelings, that would defeat me. It was what had gotten me into this mess in the first place.

I recall, after the Badica attack, the conversation Rose and I had.

_"Rose? Maybe we should postpone the next couple of practises. Just for a while..." _

_"No!" she cried. "No, I'm fine." I look her up and down and sigh. _

_"Rose, you know I know you better than that. You need some time to-"_

_"Dimitri, I just have a lot on my mind, okay? I can do this!" she grunts and punches the bag repeatedly. _

_"Rose," I say, exasperated. "Rose. Rose!" She slams her fist into the punching bag, then turns to face me, brushing her long, dark hair from her eyes. _

_"Rose, stop it." I put my hands gingerly on her shoulder and pull her into a plastic chair on the side. "Rose, what's wrong?"_

_Her eyes radiate shock, and almost anger. "Wrong? Is something _**wrong**?_" She pulls her legs up to rest against her chest. _

_"The Badicas." She nods. I sigh and sit on the thin arm of the chair and pull her into me. She buries her face against me. _

_"It was so horrible. And that Guardian! She siad he was her mentor! Arthur was her _mentor!" _she whispers shakily. My mind turns, information clicking into place._

_"It's okay, Rose. I'm right here." Her shoulders rack with contained sobs. _

_"No, it's not okay! How could she be so calm? God, if that was you," she sniffs, wrapping her arms even tighter around me. "I would be going crazy. Breaking things. Screaming. Crying." She shakes even harder. I am shocked, but quickly recover. _

_Sitting up from the chair, I adjust my position and lean down, holding her face in my hands. "That won't happen. The Princess will have a lot of protection. They won't let anything like that happen to her. We'll be safe." I have always been honest, brutally so, but now, I knew she needed comfort. And I couldn't help it. "Besides, you'll be there to protect me, right?" I ask, my tone turning light. _

_She gives a stuttered laugh and I help her to her feet. "You should go get some rest," I say softly, pulling her into me. "I'm sure you've had quite a few sleepless nights this week." _

_She nods against my shoulder. I expect some sort of a flirty, suggestive response, but she just nods and squeezes my hands before pulling away entirely. _

_"Thanks, Comrade." We both stare at each other for another heartbeat before turning away, before anyone could see us. _

I missed her. God, I missed her so much. I missed her ridiculous comments. I missed her loud complaints. I missed the way she turned absolutely everything into a sarcastic conversation. And now, the next time I would see her, I would kill her. And to do that, I would break the very thing that I promised I never would. Her heart.

A quick look at the clock reveals that my shift starts in less than five minutes. It's lunch, and I've been given the duty that no Guardian wanted. Cafeteria monitor. The place was chaos. Teenagers screaming and throwing food and trash.

As I approach the dining hall, I can see it is just as bad as I've suspected. Even worse, since it is growing close to the end of the year. I spot Vasilisa amidst it all, her arms around Tasha's nephew.

Jesse Zelkos and Ralf...Voda?... laugh obnoxiously and slam their fists into each other's shoulders. I roll my eyes. What did she see in him? To begin with, I mean. She ended up disliking him almost as much as I did. I supress a smile.

Suddenly, a wave of..._something..._washed through the crowd. Something was wrong. Very, very wrong. I turn back towards Vasilisa. Christian is looking around frantically, holding her in his arms. He legs are bent, and he is supporting her. My head pounds in panic.

I charge over, pushing students out of my way.

"What happened?" I demand. Christian looks up at me pleadingly.

"I don't know! She was fine! She just got really dizzy, her eyes went unfocused. And..."

I nod, not really hearing him. Vasilisa is pale. Too pale.

"When's the last time you fed, Princess?" I ask her.

"Uh...I dunno...Last night?" she mumbles softly.

I shake my head. She shouldn't be like this if she's just hungry. Not if she only fed last night.

But I order Christian to help me take her to the feeders. We wait barely thirty seconds before a concerned woman waves us through. We push Vasilisa into a chair behind a young, pretty feeder. Vasilisa stirs to life. She sits up quickly, sinking her teeth into the girl's neck.

The feeder moans and seems to melt into her chair. I have always looked down upon the feeders, although our races depended on them. No blood, no Moroi. No Moroi, no dhampirs. But I have always wonder how these woman, and men, stumble into this life. There were always women in Baia, blood whores, who damaged the reputations of everyone else living in communes. But then, they already knew about our world.

I am so absorbed, in a disgustly interested way, that it takes me quite a while to catch on to what's happening.

"Vasilisa!" I cry. "Stop!" She's been feeding far too long.

She lifts her head from the girl's neck, looking quite horrified with herself. I take a step over to the girl's slumped figure, my heart pounding.

"Excuse me?" I mumble. The girl is so full of endorphins she can barely lift her eyes. A small, pleasured smile catches on her lips. I relax and turn to a shaking Vasilisa.

"Princess?" I murmer. To be honest, I am a little afraid of her. "What happened? Was it the magic? Are you sure you fed last night?" She nods.

"Rose," she murmers. "It was Rose." My blood curdles, my heart stops.

"She's coming, Dimitri. And she's hungry."


	15. Falling Apart

The pulsating music drives through the building, shaking the very foundation. Needless to say, I was more than irritated. I had been roused from my sleep for the simple sake of clearing out a party. A Moroi party. _After _a double shift. There would be hell to pay.

I push forward, slipping past drunken Moroi royal, who is singing sloppily singing along to whatever song is playing with his friend. If Rose was here, she would tell me the name of it, as well as make some joke about the only music I know is cowboy campfire songs. God, I miss her.

I open the door, not even bothering to knock. Moroi grind into one another. _Young _Moroi. Almost every single one of them holds a brightly coloured plastic cup in their hands. They are all over each other, and all over the dorm. I can barely make my way over to the stereo. But when I do, I rip the chord right from the wall. The place goes quiet, all eyes on me.

All I have to do is raise my brow and glare, and Moroi already start to disperse the room. My eyes fall over each of them, searching for Vasilisa. And suddenly I see her in the corner. She is wearing a disgustingly short dress, one that, if Rose had ever worn, would be considered blood whore territory. She, of course, has a plastic cup in her hands. Her lips are interlocked with...

Aaron. My mouth falls open. They break away, and Aaron releases her from his grip. I am there in seconds, not even knowing what I am doing.

"Princess," I hiss. "_What _do you think you're doing?" Aaron quakes and Vasilisa looks shocked, then embarrassed.

"I- I'm," she hiccups, trying to gain her speech. "Aaron just saved me from falling. I was just thanking him," she defends.

"And saying _thank you_ didn't occur to you?" I demand. My frustration is bubbling over. The lack of sleep is probably added to my irrationality, but I can't even think straight.

"Well-" she bites her lip. Aaron has long since slunk away.

"Leave her alone!" cries a voice from beside me. "She's almost eighteen, she can do what she wants!"

I wheel to face Avery, who, surprisingly, doesn't look like she's had a bit to drink.

"Yes," I reply. "_Almost _eighteen. She's not even an adult!"

Vasilisa stumbles between us, pushing us apart. "Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" She cries.

I lean down so I am eye-to-eye with her. "You have no idea what has Rose sacrificed to be your Guardian. To protect you! She had to give up her childhood early just to train. She is giving up her life just to be there for you. And look at you! Throwing everything away, to what? Drink and cheat on Christian?"

She eyes flare with anger. "Stop it, okay? Stop telling me Rose would be ashamed of me! Stop acting like she's still here! Rose isn't giving up anything for me! She was going to! _Was! _She's gone now, Dimitri! She's dead. She doesn't love you anymore! Who knows, maybe she never did! Maybe that's why she didn't tell me about you. She was ashamed. Of you and your stupid life lessons! I'm not Rose, Guardian Belikov. I'm not perfect. I'm not beautiful or responsible or strong. It's my life, and I'll do whatever the hell I want with it!"

Silence falls between us. My chest stings painfully, I can't breathe. _She doesn't love you anymore. Who knows, maybe she never did! _I always wondered what made Rose choose me. I was antisocial, uncomfortable talking to anyone I didn't know how to carry on a conversation with a stranger. But she, she was beautiful. Strong and loyal and confident.

But was I truly an embarrassment to her? Something she could just seduce, then throw away? I thought of Jesse. Was I just another for her? But the cabin... I had been her first... Contradicting thoughts pound in my head.

Avery is smiling broadly. "You and _Rose?_ Wow, your student?" My fists clench at my sides. My voice turns professional; my last defense

"Princess, go back to your room. Try to refrain from throwing herself at any other young men along the way."

Her eyes radiate heat and anger, but also, shame. She spins on her heel and marches from the room. I sigh, running my hand over my face.

Avery clears her throat, alerting me to her still-standing presence. "She was your student, huh?" She takes a step towards me, lifting her shoulders. "Do you want to be my mentor?"

And it is then, at this very moment, that I say something so out of character, something so..._Rose._

"Sorry," I smile sarcastically. "I'd like to, but I only have time for students with potenial. Like ones who know how to drink from something other than a beer bottle or a feeder."

She glares, and I turn on my heel, still feeling the aching burn of Vasilisa's words.

...

I didn't see the Princess for nearly a week afterwards, though I heard from her teachers about her behaviour. She was getting more and more out of control. I've heard of her absence from class from many of the teachers. The last Dragomir is throwing her life away. All for a little alcohol, and one bad friend.

And I was absorbing myself in work. I _needed _to work. And since I was obviously not able to protect Vasilisa, I had to do it somehow. But, for the first time, work was not my escape. I could only think about how I should be doing my actual job. Protecting Vasilisa. But that obviously wasn't working, seeing as she had told me that the woman I love had been ashamed of me, and basically told me to leave her alone. So, as always, I did as I was told.

But when I heard that she had her friends had broken into the library, I began to start to get obsessively concerned. She was my charge, and this was something more than just righteous, rebellious teenage behaviour.

She is in the middle of the courtyard, talking with Avery. I approach, and both girls are obviously surprised to see me.

"Guardian Belikov?"

"Vasilisa, we need to talk."

She looks surprised, but tries, and fails, to mask it. Avery smiles and bids her good luck before taking off down the path towards Adrian's room.

"Princess-"

"Lissa!" I sigh and put her first, moving away to let her converse with whatever classmate has found her. What I didn't expect was for it to be Christian. All angry almost-six-feet of him.

"Christian?"

"When were you going to tell me, hmm?"

Her eyes widen. "Christian, look, it's-"

"No, I'm done watching. I'm done watching you hang out with Avery. I'm done watching you flirt with other guys. I'm done watching you throw your life away!" He sighs loudly and his voice fills with pain. "Do you know what it's like, hearing that your girlfriend cheated on you from _Jesse Zelkos?" _

The Princess flinches. "It's not like it meant anything! I was drunk, he helped me-"

"Don't try to justify this! The lies, the partying." His expression turns soft, the way only she can do. "I can't," he squeezes his eyes shut. "I can't be with you if that's your life now."

Her expression turns to horror. I wish I could help her, but this is one thing I cannot protect her from. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"I'm...I don't know. Yeah, I guess." Lissa gives a shocked look. She can obviously not see the pain in his eyes.

"You can't do that," she cries. "We need to talk about this-"

"You should have been ready to talk before things stopped going your way."

"I'll change. Please Christian," she whispers.

"When, Lissa? I don't really see any evidence of that ever happening." And he turned on his heel and walked away, obviously trying to keep Vasilisa from seeing the emotion in his eyes.

"Vasilisa," I murmur softly, stepping beside her.

"He can't do this to me," she whispers, more to herself than me.

"He's upset," I try to defend him.

She sighs and turns away, walking after Avery.

"I could use a drink right now." And she was gone. And so continued Vasilisa's fast spiral downwards.

...

I pace the borders of the academy anxiously. I have never felt so hopeless. The woman that I love is gone, and possibly never loved me at all, my charge is doing things I can never protect her from. The promises I have made just seem like cruel jokes, now. Clear reminders that I had failed. I had failed Rose. It had broke me in two, leaving me to try to desperately scrounge for the pieces.

But now, my charge, all I had left, dismissed me. And how could I protect her from herself.

I was a shell. Empty, lifeless. The two parts of me had disappeared, all because of me.

In my desperation, I went to the one place where I had ever felt whole, where the balance between love and work seemed equal, possible. The cabin.

The place, to my dismay, had lost our scent. It was empty, meaningless. After all these months, we had been erased. No evidence of us existed. We were gone.

I moved around the cabin, it suddenly seemming like a strange and unfamiliar place. An empty ache pulsed in my chest.

When had this happened? Was this the beginning of the end? Or the end of the beginning? Was this my first step to moving on, or was this first step to my unravelling?

When I reached a spot near the bed, I detected a scent I never thought I would smell again. Vanilla, or something like that. I moved around, trying to find where the scent was strongest. But it remained steady, where it wasn't before.

"Hey, Comrade," said the most beautiful, horrifying voice from behind me. "Miss me?"

* * *

**I decided on writing all of this in one chapter, since you guys are probably getting annoyed with Rose not being here, and all... Please review!**


	16. Buria

_"Hey, Comrade," said the most beautiful, horrifying voice from behind me. "Miss me?"_

My heart stops. I can't breathe. _Oh God oh God oh God oh God. _

Before I can even turn, I feel breath near my ear.

"Buria," she whispers. Iron hands grip the back of my leather jacket, pulling my arms back and choking me. I fall to the ground, slipping right out of the coat, and roll as I hit the floor. Pushing myself up, all within the span of a second, I turn to face my attacker.

Rose. She is still so, so beautiful, _don't hesitiate, Comrade, _but her eyes are ringed in red and her skin is chalky and white.

She stands, one hand on her hip, one still clutching my coat. "What?" she asks. "I thought you'd be glad to see me."

Her voice is still her own, smooth and teasing, but the warmth is gone. Her words run like ice down my back. I think of Rose, tan and dark. Rose, pinning me in trials. Rose, protecting Vasilisa. Rose, in the cabin. This cabin.

"You're not Rose," I hiss. "You're not her. You're a monster."

She holds her palm over her still heart. "Ouch. And you're wrong, for once." She grins, a vulture taunting her prey. "I'm still Rose. I'm still your Roza, Comrade. Just better."

"No," I whisper and reach into my..._air. _My eyes shoot upwards to greet her grinning face. She shakes the jacket in front of me.

"Looking for your stake, Comrade?" My heart, and my hope, plummets. "Guess _the monster_ knows you better than you thought." _Nicely played, Belikov. You're screwed. _

"Please," I scoff. "You could have gone straight for the throat, bitten me. If I would have had an extra weapon, you would be dead. Don't you ever pay attention to my lessons?" Why, why, _why? _was I throwing out my usual sarcasm?

She raises her eyebrows. "Don't you ever get tired of mentoring?" And she's in front of me before I can even blink. She strokes my cheek, and I freeze. How odd. Rose feels like...Rose. Her skin is colder, but her hands are just as soft as I remember. And she smells the same. "I knew you always hated it, Dimitri. We couldn't be together then, when you were my teacher," she sighs, as if she had any emotion left. "But that won't bean issue once I turn you."

My fist collides with her gut, and she gasps and stumbles backwards. My entire arm burns, as if I have just hit Rose, _Roza, _not this soulless monster. She quickly recovers and straightens.

"My my, Comrade. You were never this mean in training..." She tilts her head back and laughs. Her laugh is beautiful, so, so similar, but cold and emotionless, as if she is mocking me. Images of our practises pulse through my mind. Although I would admit it to no one, some days, I lived for those laughs. Not the sarcastic, sharp ones. Her real, warm, rich laugh.

"Get away from me," I yell. I have never, _never, _yelled at Rose before. Not like this. I may have raised my voice when she snagged on my bad mood, but I have never screamed at her. _She's not Rose! Get that through your head! Don't hesitate, Comrade. Don't hesitate, Comrade. Don't. Hesitate. Comrade!_

"Why?" she asks innocently, and we begin to circle each other. "Are you afraid of me? Or are you afraid of what I can do?" My chest aches. I lunge out of the way of her lazy punch. "Face it, Comrade. You're surprised how similar I am to how I used to be. Before I was awakened." I thought of her hair, her sarcasm, her laugh. She knows me. Too well. She always has.

"No. She was beautiful. She cared. She was a better person then anyone I've ever known. There is nothing in you that reminds me of her."

She tilts her head to the side and a cold smile tugs at her lips. "You're lying. I can tell. I've always been able to tell."

Something about this Rose made my blood run cold. "No. You don't know anything about me." She throws a punch at my face and I dodge, swinging my foot around. She jumps to avoid it, then runs into me, her hands closing around my throat. She pushes my against the wall, up the wall. My feet barely touch the ground, and her arm is extended fully.

She smiles wickedly and leans forward, bringing her face near my neck. I tense, awaiting the sting of a bite. Instead, I feel the ice of her lips press against the base of my throat. A sick, twisted, soulless kiss. "You're weak," she murmurs huskily, her voice muffled against my skin. "I always thought you were the best. You were a god to me. Now," her cool breath races over my skin in a fast exhale. "Now you're weak. That's what love does to you. It makes you weak. Helpless. Look at you." She runs her free hand down my chest lazily.

I have held this monster. She was a person. And I've held her, comforted her, taught her.

I brace myself against her hold. With one last breath of pure desperation, I lean forward, her palm now cutting off my air. Our lips meet.

Part of me screams, nausea sweeps through me. But the other part of me, the one Rose always controlled, tells me that this is still Rose. At least, still Rose's body. Rose freezes, then allows me to wrap my arms around her. She is pressed up against me. I run my fingers up, over her waist, her arms, her neck, and finally tangling them in her hair.

I instantly pull away and jerk her long, dark hair down. She cries out and collapses. I bury my fingers deep into the silken strands and jerk her upwards again. New strigoi still felt pain. It took a lot of time and a lot of blood to make you unstoppable. Although she is inhuman and soulless, I still feel incredibly guilty for treating her this way.

I tilt her head back with a solid tug on her hair. "Weak?" I whisper. "You've completely broken me apart, Rose. I'm _done _being weak." I reach for the jacket that she has discarded on the floor.

She pulls away as much as she can with a cry of pain, and before I can gather her back, she has already rolled over my back, pulling my arm to the side. I cry out at the sudden pain and am forced to let go. Rose lands in a crouched position, then shoots upwards, plowing into me. We both topple over.

She rolls on top of me, laying right against me, despite my desperate attempts to free myself. "You'll never have to be weak again," she whispers. Her fangs sink into my skin, and I can't help but moan as the warm, overwhelming endorphins flood through me. And I lose track of the world.


	17. Changed

I'm floating. I can't feel, can't hear. I am just aware of a hand on my chest, teeth on my neck, and the wonderful, overwhelming feeling of floating. I can't recall names, locations, or dates, but I can feel the waves of pleasure that crash into me. I hit the crest of one rush, and think I might have moaned in pleasure, though I can't feel my body. Was this death?

As I ease out of the wave, the high starts to sink, and I'm desperate to get it back. "Comrade," says a voice from the whiteness. "When did you start wearing jewellery? Or did you and Tasha get married?" She twists..._something..._on my finger, then pulls it off to examine it. A ring. I groan in impatience and grab her hips, pulling her closer.

Another wave of endorphins hit me, taking me higher and higher. I can feel myself start to let go of my body, my mind. I'm all too willing to let go of myself, the one thing that's keeping me grounded, but am unable to.

Suddenly, I am aware that the steady flow of endorphins has ceased. Although the drugs still pound through my veins, I start to gain my sense of reality.

She..._.Rose..._. is still on top of me, but her head is lifted, her eyes looking up at the door. She pushes herself off of me and makes her way towards the exit. _Don't leave! _I try to say, but my body and mind hasn't yet combined.

I must have made some sound of dismay, because Rose turns back to me, a smile tugging at her lips. She leans back over me and grabs my jaw with her iron grip, one that is gentle, but lets me know she could break it with one squeeze. She plants a kiss on my lips. "Don't worry. I'll finish turning you later. I've got to take care of Lissa. Don't move." She winks, but I can see anger in her eyes, and starts out of the cabin.

And she's gone. I lay my head back down on the wooden floor, groaning as the pleasure starts to leave my body. It was going to be a_ long _wait. I think of...the dhampir at the Court. A male bloodwhore. Is that what I am now? _I've got to take care of Lissa. _

Her words suddenly tug at my mind, running jagged where the drugs had smoothed. _I've got to take care of Lissa...Take care of Lissa...Lissa...Lissa..._Lissa! Vasilisa! Horror and shock consumes me, pushing through my cloudy mind. _She's going to kill her. _

I push myself up, as fast as I can. Dizziness sweeps over me, and I grip the counter of the tiny kitchen and squeeze my eyes shut, waiting for it to pass. Several excruciating seconds, _Get to Vasilisa, _I grab my stake from the floor and stumble from the cabin, heading to the one place where I hope Vasilisa is. Her room.

When I exit the forest, a gruesome sight greets me.

Guardians and strigoi. Everywhere. Bodies litter the campus. This time, the strigoi are outnumbered, though, and could be taken down much more easily. The endorphins are fading with every step, leaving me with a gaining rational mind, and the common sense to _not_join the fight. Not until I save Vasilisa. I step clumsily over bodies, fighting nausea, and dodge weapons and strigoi.

When I, finally, reach the Moroi building, I am starting to gain a strong sense of rationality. I am aware enough to feel hot, thick liquid pouring down my neck.

A scream from above makes me tilt my heavy head back. A figure stands on the ledge of the highest floor. _Vasilisa! _

I shake my head, distancing myself even more from the craving of the drugs, and charge up the stairs, taking three at a time.

The twisting of corridors seem to last forever. When I finally reach Vasilisa's room, the door is wide open. Without a moment of preparation, _don't hesitate, Comrade, _I enter.

Chaos. Utter chaos. Vasilisa is no longer on the ledge. Avery's guardian has pulled her through the window. Suddenly, just as his hand shoots out, she gasps and falls to the ground, dodging his punch. Avery's brother and Rose were circling each other. He is uncoordinated, and Rose manages to get her hands around his neck. A sickening crack cuts through the air.

That's when Avery, who is pressed into the corner, falls onto her knees and begins to scream.

Reed has Vasilisa by her long, blond hair, but when Avery cries out, he turns towards her, allowing Vasilisa to twist and strike him with the back of her hand. I am amazed. _Where has Vasilisa learned to react like this? _Reed drops her, and she crawls into the corner of the room, cowering.

Rose and the guardian turn to face each other. They are both closely matched, hitting and punching, dodging and striking.

My mind seems to catch up to my body and I throw myself across the room, falling on my kness. I press my palms into the wall, so I am now hovering over Vasilisa, shielding her. Tears run down her face, and she wraps her arms around me, sobbing. I have no encouraging words for her.

I can hear the crash of a fight behind me, and force myself not to turn around and join. Suddenly, Vasilisa gasps.

"Adrian!" I silently curse and turn towards the door, where Adrian Ivashkov stands, his eyes wide. Pushing myself off of Vasilisa, I duck to avoid an office chair that flies over my head. Grabbing Adrian by the collar, I shove him towards Vasilisa, just in time to see the Guardian push Rose against the wall, trying to manuever his stake against her helpless struggling.

Now, a sane, stable person would have waited until he was finished with Rose, then taken him on. But all I saw was a threat, a danger to Rose, Roza. I fling myself across the room and pull the Guardian, Simon?, off of her. He shoves his elbow backwards into my gut. I grunt and fly backwards.

As soon as I feel the impact of my back hit the corner of the desk, I am up, running towards Simon. I am still clumsy from the blood loss, and am having trouble with my awkward movements.

"Pin him!" Rose cries. I am not very coordinated, but I outmatch the guy by nearly a foot and probably fifty pounds. I grip him by the shoulders and push him backwards, but ensure his feet remain rooted. He tumbles backwards, and I hold onto his wrists.

"Lissa, Adrian, go, now!" The Princess seems to understand perfectly, while Adrian is just dragged along. They appear in front of me, and press their hands onto the struggling guardian. I stay silent, but I am watching intently, as the Guardian's cuts and bruises start to disappear.

Avery begins to scream louder and louder, clutching her head. Rose rolls her eyes and winces, but stays silent.

I suddenly feel heat creep into my palms. Not a burning heat, but a definite warmth. It spreads up my arms and disappears into my chest. I shudder, but remain silent.

Finally, Simon's eyes go blank, and Avery's screaming ceases. I sigh and release him, completely drained, but my head is much more clear.

"What happened to him?" Adrian asks.

"Avery and Simon were bonded. The magic fried her." Rose answers. "You okay, Lissa?" And she steps towards her.

I lunge, pushing myelf between Rose and Vasilisa, blocking her access to the princess. The look on Rose's face is something I didn't I would ever see on a strigoi. She looks hurt.

"I'm not going to hurt her..." She looks back at me. "Are _you _okay? You look like you're going to pass out." I straighten, looking at her with unbelieving eyes. Her voice, although not as warm as it was when she was living, is much less cold than it was before. I wonder if it's possible, when someone cares about others enough, that the compassion lingers even after their soul is gone.

_Stop it! She's a monster! Look at her! Pale skin, red eyes. You have been training your whole life to kill these things, and now your just going to do _nothing_?_

I lunge forward again, reaching foward with my stake. My fist hits the wall just as Rose spins out of the way, but the stake still catches the edge of her leather jacket. She pushes herself from the drywall, slipping out of her coat, and turns to face me. Her face is cold and menacing once again, like her weak moment never occured.

I rip the stake from the wall and shove Rose backwards, but not before receiving a blow to the side. I move forward, striking, then duck as her fist flies over my head. Vasilisa and Adrian are huddled in the corner, Adrian's body before hers, protecting her.

Slowly, I am pushing forward, shoving her back and standing my ground when she counterattacks.

With one last push, I shove her against the wall, right where the open window is. And I push Rose through it.


	18. Letting Go

**Just to let you guys know, the little quote about a third of the way down the page is from Vampire Academy, when Dimitri and Rose discuss that they would rather be dead than strigoi, starting at, _"Then how do you make sure you don't hesitate?"_**

* * *

I grip onto the wall, trying to keep myself from falling, ignoring a scream from Vasilisa. I expected to see Rose hurtle towards the ground, but her hand shoots out and grabbed the ledge of the building, where the Princess had been stepping.

Our eyes met, and I could almost imagine the soft brown of her former eyes. It made my whole chest ache, an empty, throbbing pulse.

"Dimitri," she whispered. Had she called me 'Dimitri', instead of 'Comrade', when she was turned? I couldn't recall, if she had, it was very, very different this time. She looked down, six stories down, and turned her eyes back towards me, pleading.

Although the fall wouldn't kill her, she was a new strigoi, and it would hurt. Very, very much. It would take her a long time to recover, long enough for a guardian to get to her. I knew she was playing with me, using my feelings for her against me. I knew it, but it didn't matter.

I reach down and grip her wrist. A small smile of relief crosses her lips as I pull her up. Her other hand reaches up and closes around my upper arm, assisting me.

I pull her next to me, although she is not completely in the room. "I will always love you," I whisper, and push my stake into her, slipping it between her ribs.

A tiny smile bubbles on her lips. "We could have been together. Forever. But I guess that's not what you wanted after all." She tilts her head to the side, wincing in pain. "You're lying. I've always been able to tell." Her body goes limp, the life, so to speak, leaves her eyes.

I give a ragged breath, and let go. Squeezing my eyes shut, I turn away from the window. I cannot watch her fall. _Oh God. _

Leaning against the wall, I finally let my legs give out, and I slide slowly down the wall. Leaning my forhead against my knees,I cover them with my arms.

_You're lying. I've always been able to tell. _I _did _love her. I always did, I always will. Just because I didn't want to be with her like this doesn't mean I loved her any less. Right?

But it wasn't _For better or worse, on the exception of the undead. _I shudder, trying to hold in my tears.

_"Then how do you make sure you don't hesitate?"_

_"You have to keep telling yourself that they aren't the same people you knew. They've become something dark and twisted. Something unnatural. You have to let go of attachments and do what's right. If they have any grain of their former selves left, they'll probably be grateful."_

Was it possible to love someone after they were gone? Could you still say you love them? Or did you say you lov_ed _them? Can love survive on it's own? Or does it leave with the person you love?

"Guardian Belikov?" I look up to the tear-stained face of the princess.

I could have given orders, comforting words, reassurance. Instead, all that came out of my mouth was, "I killed her."

"You saved her. That wasn't Rose. She told you that's what she wanted. She would thank you if she could." I nod, but I don't feel comforted.

She sits down beside me and rests her head on my shoulder. Flashes of Rose, on the same mall trip, race through my mind. She had fallen asleep in the van, and slumped to the side, her long hair hanging over my shoulder.

This thought made my chest stab painfully. After a long, mourning period of silence, I pick myself off of the glass-covered ground and all three of us make our way down to the courtyard.

Sunrise is just a few minutes away, the rays of light already starting to rise from the ground. Bodies are scattered over the yard, some dhampir, some strigoi. I have yet to see a Moroi, though. The surviving strigoi have fled for cover, the bodies will turn to ash. Although I know it will break me completely, I have to see Rose. One last time.

It is the longest walk of my life. I wonder if she'll look like Rose. If she'll be smiling, like when I let her go. When I round the corner, I see the most horrifying sight. Nausea threatens to spill over. I have never fainted before, but at that moment, I felt that I could collapse.

Rose is gone.

...

I slowly, and stiffly, make my way back to my room. I can think of nothing better than to surrender to sleep, leaving behind my broken body and grieving mind.

When I open the door, a heavy feeling starts to creep over me. Something is not right.

I move slowly around the tiny room. There is no where to hide. But the prickling of my skin continues, warning me.

A small flutter of white catches my eye. Paper, rustling in the breeze of the open window. I move closer. An envelope is taped to the wall above my mattress. I slowly tear through the seal.

_Comrade,  
You told me to never turn my back unless I was sure  
the enemy was dead. Looks like you can't follow your  
own advice. I'll be seeing you, very, very soon. _

_-Roza_

Horror and shock consumes me. For the millionth time today, I feel like I could be sick. I look down into the envelope and spy something silver. Reaching down, I pull out my ring. Vasilisa's charmed ring.

_Comrade, when did you start wearing jewellery? _I scoff and slam the ring down onto my side table. It was supposed to protect me, but I had never felt more pain in my entire life.

Without I leaned over and picked up the phone.

Seven rings later, she picked up.

"Hello," her familiar voice said.

I took in a shaky breath. "Hi. It's me."

She burst into tears. "Oh thank God, Dimka. Why didn't you call? We were so worried! We thought..." she sniffs.

"I know. I'm sorry. I-" I inhale, trying to supress my tears. "I've been busy. There was another attack. My student was turned." I hadn't told my family about Rose. It had nothing to do with embarrassment or shame, I just never really let myself believe we could be together. Until the night she was taken.

My mother sighs. "Oh, Dimitri. I'm so sorry," she whispers, but all I can hear in her voice is relief. _Thank God it wasn't you._

I talk with her, mindlessly. I talk with Karolina, Viktoria, and a very nervous Sonya. I am not in the mood to be brotherly and talk to her about her pregnancy, much to her relief. My grandmother is last to pick up the phone.

"Dimitri! Listen to me. The undead does not always stay undead. Those who are attached to the spirit world can do more than bring back the dead."

Before I can even reply, she is off, leaving me alone with the buzz of the phone. _Hello to you to. _

_The undead does not always stay undead. _I freeze. Does that mean...? I could bring her back? Impossible. But after everything I've been through, I feel that I should at least try to be open minded.

_Those who are attached to the spirit world can do more than bring back the dead. _Attached? Vasilisa. But what else could she, and her magic, bring back?

I thought of Rose, when she took my ring from me. She must have had it when we fought, since she didn't give it back at the cabin. She had become so... so much like she used to be. _The magic! _The magic of the ring.

If Yeva was right, then we could save her. Vasilisa could bring back her soul.

* * *

**So... that's technically the end of Blood Promise... Unless I write Spirit Bound, too...**


	19. Spiritual Sacrifice: A Sequel

Graduation day. I'd always pictured this day as freedom. Free to make my own choices. Not that I myself was graduating, but Rose was. _Should have been. _Today, we would have been free. Free to make our own choices about our relationship. Free to be together.

Now, now I was trapped. Trapped between my charge and the monster that I had once loved. That I still loved. And I hated myself for it. If I wasn't so weak, I could kill her, save her. But I just can't let go. After Ivan died, I pushed myself away from everyone. If I wasn't close to anyone, I would never have to choose between my life and someone else's. It made me a more devoted Guardian.

I left Russia, distancing myself from my family and friends, only to become more attached to someone than I'd ever been, here. And then she was taken, and I had to make that choice. Do they always come first? Or should I be allowed to ease my heartache? I was at a loss.

Novices and Moroi, dressed in their finest clothing, lined the stage. Rose should be here. She should be making jokes and congratulating friends and pretending she doesn't she me watching her.

Vasilisa stood near the beginning of the line, looking happy and proud, yet still lost. I stood at the back of the room, guarding the ceremony. It has only been two months since the attack that Rose led, and escaped from. Absently, I twist the silver band around my finger.

This ring had _changed _Rose. Not into a strigoi, but while she strigoi. Although she hadn't been exactly the way she used to be, her voice had been warmer, her eyes softer. I had assumed it was care for Vasilisa, but now I knew it was more than that.

She had written me a note, giving me back the ring, telling me she would see me. _Very, very soon._ I had to kill her before she harmed Vasilisa, or turned me. But the magic of the ring had brought back the way Rose used to be. So what if Vasilisa's magic could bring her back completely?

My grandmother's words echoed in my mind. _The undead do not always stay undead. Those who are attached to the spirit world can do more than bring back the dead. _If there was any chance that I could bring back Rose, I would.

Mikhail Tanner had gone through the same thing. Sonya Karp had turned, and he had attempted to hunt her down. And failed. Now he was working in the basement of the Court. I had left the academy, and now I was no longer technically responsible for Vasilisa. Edison Castile was. But Rose would have wanted me to protect her, especially from a strigoi, even if it was her.

"Guardian Belikov?" I snap out of my thoughts to see Vasilisa standing before me.

"Yes, Princess?" I ask. She smiles weakly.

"I just wanted to thank you. Again. For everything you've done for me. And Rose." She runs a hand through her glass-straight hair. "I mean, even in the last few months, she seemed so much..._better. _She was happier," she says softly.

"Thank you, Princess." She nods and turns to walk away, when I call her name again. She turns back to face me.

"Is Rose... Can you... Can you feel her?" I ask weakly.

She bites her lip. "She's planning something. I think," she gulps nervously. "I think she wants to turn you, Dimitri." I nod slowly.

"Thank you," I whisper. "You should go back. You've got one night where you don't have to worry about this. Enjoy it," I urge.

Lissa gives me one last smile before departing. "I would enjoy it a lot more if my best friend was here."

As soon as my shift ends, I rush from the building, needing fresh air. I only just step outside when I hear a voice from behind me.

"Getting claustrophobic?" I spin around quickly, and smile.

"Hi, Tasha."

She smiles back. "Hey, Dimka!" She gently wraps her arms around me, and I take comfort in her arms. "How have you been?" she asks. I sigh. It's a complicated question.

"Okay," I lie. We both know I'm lying, but, to my relief, she moves on.

"I'm so sorry, Dimitri. I heard about..." she trails off, giving me a sympathetic look.

I just nod, not knowing what else to say. She looks back towards the building.

"Lissa's being guarded by Eddie," she states. "Have they given you your new assignment, yet?"

I shake my head, knowing where this conversation is leading. "No. I'll most likely end up in Court, though. Or stay at the academy."

She gives me a small smile. "Well, you know my offers always open." When I nod in response, she walks up to me and rests a hand on my cheek.

Straining upwards, she kisses me softly. There is no hunger, no electrical pull, but it's soft, calm, soothing. She pulls away and makes her way inside, leaving my chest aching for Rose and my head pounding in confusion.

...

I throw my keys onto my bedside table, flicking on the lights of the bedroom. It is a small, cramped space. Books are scattered over every surface. Vasilisa and I have been working our way through them, trying to find something, anything, that indicated a way to bring Rose back. They were all from the church attic, the life and times of St. Vladimir. But in all of the crumbling books we had got through, there was absolutely nothing on bringing back strigoi.

Which wasn't all that surprising considering no one had ever heard of it being done before. I groan and pick up one of the ancient books, starting from a small piece of paper that marked my page. Lifting the book revealed a small, battered paperback underneath. A western.

How long had it been since I'd read one of them? I couldn't recall the last joke made about them, or the last time I had just sat down comfortably and read one. Rose had once joked that she didn't have time to read such novels, that she was too preoccupied reading up on how to save her best friend's life. And now, I didn't have time for them either. I didn't appreciate the irony.

I fell asleep as the sun started to creep into the sky, still fully clothed and with a book laying on my chest.


	20. Return of the Zmey

_"Vasilisa! Rose! Are you there?" I pound my fist on the door. "Rose! Please open the door!" I call. With a sigh, I rest my arm on the door frame._

_The door slowly opens to reveal an hard-faced Rose. _

_"Roza," I exhale in relief. "Thank God," I murmur, and wrap my arms around her, resting my cheek on the top of her head. Her crossed arm press into my chest in our embrace._

_"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice muffled by my shoulder. I sigh._

_"I'm fine," I whisper. After several moments, I allow Rose to pull away. She raises her eyebrows at me, giving me a questioning look. _

_"Okay, seriously, what's going on?" Her voice is concerned, but still holds a sharp note. We had an argument this morning at training, and I could tell she was still angry with me._

_I sigh, recalling this morning. Rose and I had thrown ourselves into our spar, heat boiling through us, which had, of course, led to a passionate kiss. I had pulled away, telling her it was wrong. Despite the reluctance that was clear in my voice, she had snapped, telling me that if I was so sure that what we had was wrong, that I should have just taken Tasha's offer. I had fought back, saying that if she wanted someone who only wanted her for physical affection, that she should go find Adrian Ivashkov. _

_She had stormed off, and honestly, I didn't blame her. What I had said was childish, and it had hurt her. Adrian was a sore point for her, because of his constant flirting and her _

_Coming back to myself, I ran a hand over my hair. "There's a few students who are missing, and..." I cleared my throat, feeling slightly embarrassed. "And I panicked when you weren't in your room." _

_She looked back over her shoulder at the closed bathroom door. Her voice lowered. "Who's missing?" she asks. _

_I sigh. "We're not completely sure. So far, just Royals... but..." I rub the back of my neck, earning me a small smile. _

_"I'm fine, Dimitri," she soothes. I nod. _

_"I...I know. I overreacted," I say, and turn to leave. _

_"Dimitri?" I turn to face her. _

_She looks down at her feet. "You're right. About the whole kiss thing," she whispers. "I'm sorry."_

_I shake my head. "You have no reason to be. I was-" I sigh. "What I said. It was childish. I shouldn't have said it what I said, about Adrian or the kiss. The kiss, it wasn't wrong. It's the only excuse I can think of to stay away from you. I'm so sorry, Rose."_

_She smiles softly at my expression. Just as she opens her mouth, Vasilisa steps out of the bathroom. "Rose? Guardian Belikov?" _

_Rose turns. "Sorry Liss, just talking about training." She steps back into the room, her hand on the door handle. "See you tomorrow. Dimitri."_

I woke with a smile on my face. How easy it was to just forget about who she was now, and just lose myself in who she used to be. But, despite my reluctance, I forced myself out of bed. I was supposed to meet Tasha for breakfast, and hoped I wouldn't be late.

...

Tasha was waiting in the cafeteria, calmly sipping a cup of coffee. I sat down across from her, and she smiled broadly.

"Ready to leave, today?" she asks. I nod.

"Yeah. I'm looking forward to leaving," I lie. In leaving, I'm leaving Rose. Leaving the gym, the cabin, all I had left of her.

She smiles softly and puts her hand over mine. In the week she had been here, we had grown closer, leaning on her for comfort. We lapsed into a comfortable silence, and I took the opportunity to look for the Princess. Obviously, she hadn't yet arrived for breakfast, yet, but I did see someone I didn't expect.

Guardian Hathaway. She sat in the corner of the room, seperate from everyone else. I hadn't talked to her since the night of the first attack. I squeezed Tasha's hand and bid her goodbye, getting up from the table.

I approach Janine. "Good morning," I greet politely. She looks up, surprised. I can see she has aged years in the past few months. Her hair is beginning to gray, and her face holds scars of many sleepless nights. She nods to me awkwardly. The last time we had seen each other, I had saved her life, dragging her from charging back to the caves after Rose. I pulled her back to the academy, where she finally collapsed into my arms. I wished I could have offered any comforting words, but I was also feeling the crippling effects of grief.

"Hello, Guardian Belikov." She turns back to staring into her coffee cup.

"Yes. Hello, _Guardian Belikov." _I spin to face the one man I hoped to never see again.

"Abe," I greet bitterly. He's dressed in his regular flamboyant nature, a bright scarf knotted around his neck.

"Ibrihim?" Janine says from behind me, her voice disbelieving.

My eyes widen. "You two know each other?" I gape.

Janine's shock mirrors my own. "_You two _know each other?"

"Oh yes," Abe answers cheerfully. "I've known young Dimitri here since he was just a boy."

"Unfortunately," I mumble. Janine gives a small smile at our argument.

I look between them. "What are you doing here, Zmey?" I grunt. He glares at me.

"I've come to visit an old friend," he says defensively, motioning to Janine. I raise a brow but don't say anything.

Janine's expression dampens, turning to one of pain. Tears build in her eyes. "Oh, Abe," she whispers. "She's gone."

Abe pulls her up and wraps his arms around her, whispering comforting words into her hair. I don't realize I'm staring, slack-jawed, until Abe shoots me a sharp look over Janine's head. I snap my mouth shut and quickly duck away from them, confusion running through me.

...

I rap my knuckles on the door.

"Come in!" calls a voice from within. Twisting the door knob, I catiously enter the room.

"Princess?"

She smiles and turns, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "Hi, Guardian Belikov!" I look around the room at the plethora of suitcases and bags that litter every surface. I raise my brow, and she smiles sheepishly before giving me a curious look.

"Yeah... Hey, where's all of your stuff?" I smile, too, and turn to show her the backpack on my shoulders. Her eyes widen.

"That's _it?" _

"Well, considering I don't have makeup, a lot of clothes, hair products, more than two pairs of shoes..." I trail off when she laughs.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. And _by the way, _that suitcase has _books _in it," she points out proudly. I smile.

"That tiny one in the corner?"

She sighs loudly, giving me a wry look. I sober, immediately becoming serious.

"Have you found anything yet?" I ask, refering to the books. She frowns.

"No. I've gotten through about half of them, though. It's all about St. Vladimir and Anna, not so much about compulsion..."

I nod, disappointment radiating through me. "We should probably go. The plane's already here."

I help her piles together her belongings, ensuring that I take the heaviest suitcases. When we finally make it out of the room, we run into Tasha.

"Lissa!" she cries, awkwardly hugging her despite the burden of many bags. Tasha comes to stand beside me, resting a hand on my arm.

Vasilisa eyes Tasha, frowning, then takes off in front of us. I sigh loudly. _Great. _


	21. Summoned

**I know it's been a while since I've updated... Sorry about that... I'm slowing down. I'm pretty busy this summer, so I apologize if I don't update every day like I used to!**

* * *

The plane is loud and crowded, buzzing with the excitement of many students, eagerly awaiting the journey that started the next chapter of their lives. Guardians sit at the front and back of the plane, lining the exits. I sit closer to the centre of the plane with Tasha. I can see Vasilisa turning back to glare at us every so often.

"So," Tasha starts awkwardly. "Are you excited to be moving to Court?" I raise a brow at her.

"Yeah, I suppose."

We lapse into silence, and I can't help but mentally point out that with Rose and I, silences were comfortable, when we didn't need words to describe how we were feeling. But Tasha looks like she is digging internally, trying to find something to say.

"How long are you staying here?" I ask.

She smiles gratefully. "I've decided to move to Court. It'll be nice, seeing Christian everyday."

"Where is he going to school?"

She shrugs. "He hasn't really decided, yet, no matter how much I push him. He's been kind of distracted, lately, with learning to fight. The situation with him and Lissa isn't helping." She frowns.

I nod, thinking back to the breakup that I, unfortunately, had witnessed. Things were still awkward with between the two, tension built up when they were even in the same room together. Vasilisa had begun to devour old, crumbling books, and Christian had thrown himself into defensive magic, both obviously desperate to distract themselves and find use of their spare time.

"I wish I could do something to help, or at least make him smarten up."

I laugh and smile at her. "They're going to have to do it on their own," I say, my voice, I suddenly realize, turning to one of my past, my mentor days.

...

When the plane hits the runway, the excitement of the former-students heightens. We all step out onto the Court grounds, more guardians coming to meet us. I took some of Vasilisa's baggage, Tasha grabbed some of Christians, and we departed, heading off to the new room assignments.

"So, what's up with you and Tasha?" Vasilisa asks once we are alone. Her voice is hard and stony, something that I don't usually expect from my charge. My former charge.

"What do you mean?"

She snorts. "Yeah, it looks like a little more than nothing, Guardian Belikov."

I sigh. "Vasilisa-"

"Have you really gotten over Rose that quickly? Did she mean that little to you?" She blurts, her voice starting to get louder and louder. Each word pricked my skin.

Stopping just outside her door, her face still hard and angry, I turn to face her. "Is that really what you think?" I demand. "That she didn't mean anything to me? What do you think these last couple of months were for? I'm certainly not forgetting Rose, because I never will. I'm just moving on. Like what you did with Avery. I love Rose more than anything else. And if I don't at least try to move on," I breathe deeply. "Then it will destroy me completely."

She stares at me in shock. I could feel my whole body shaking as Vasilisa silently reached down and opened the door to her room. I help her carry all of her belongings in before turning to depart.

"Dimitri?" I slowly spin, afraid of the sight. "I'm sorry."

I nod once and rush from the room, emotions swirling within me.

...

I had just gotten back to my room when there was a knock on the door. With a reluctant sigh, I swing open the door to my small bedroom. A solemn guardian nods towards me respectfully.

"Dimitri Belikov, you've been summoned to see the Queen."

...

Although I had been to Court quite a few times, I had never been _here. _Here, exactly, was the Council meeting room of the Court, where royal Moroi met and discussed laws. But I had never heard of a dhampir entering, let alone a run-away, unrealiable Guardian. Or perhaps that's exactly why I was here.

The room had traditional decorations, golden candleabra's and carefully carved marble. A dais sat in the centre of the room, the twelve heads of the Moroi families sitting at a long table. Queen Tatiana sat amoungst them. The gallery on the other side of the room were entirely Moroi, of course, and sat in elegant chairs.

A wirey, thin Moroi steps forward, one I recognize as one of Tatiana's assisstants. The soft buzzing of conversation drops off, everyone focusing their attention on him. "This session of the Moroi Royal Council is now in order. Her Royal Majesty, Tatiana Marina Tavashkov, is presiding." Giving a quick bow, he retreats back into the shadows of the side of the room.

The Queen is dressed formally, a large crown resting upon her head. "Thank you," she says, but seems to be announcing it to the whole room instead of just towards the nervous man. "We will be continuing our conversation from yesterday."

I try to refrain from frowning in confusion. Had they discussed me yesterday? Had my fate already been decided? But it seems incredibly unlikely that an entire Moroi Council is needed to make this decision. Usually, the head Guardian would.

"Today, we will be hearing testimony from a Guardian who formally was employed at the Court." The Queen turns her focus onto me. I take a step forward, folding my arms behind my back, and bow.

"Please state your name."

I lean forward. "Dimitri Belikov," I say, succeeding in keeping my voice neutral and even.

"How long did you work at the academy?" she asks.

"Eleven months."

"And in the last six, you took in a student to mentor. Please state her name, Guardian Belikov."

"Rosemarie Hathaway." My voice drops, but I try to keep it loud enough.

"How old was Rosemarie?"

I refrain myself from blurting, _Rose, she liked to be called Rose. _"Not even two weeks from being eighteen."

"Rosemarie already had molniji marks, is that correct?"

_Is this about my absence while I hunted Rose in Spokane? _But I kept the question supressed. "Yes. She had two."

"But she also killed many strigoi in the attack at the academy, correct?"

The Council shifts in their chairs. The attack on the academy was not something Moroi, especially royals, liked to think about.

"Yes, she killed many strigoi in the battle."

"And she died during that battle, did she not?"

I bite back tears. _Wouldn't be respectful to fall apart in front of the royals. _"Yes," is all I can offer.

"How did she die?" Tatiana asks, her voice more soft than usual, her face showing false sympathy.

"We went on a rescue mission to save the captured. While we were retreating, several strigoi attacked us. Rose-" I pause, regaining my composure, not letting my mask of indifference slip. "Rose jumped in front of us. She shielded us from the attack."

I could see images, seared into my mind._ Rose shoved me out of the way, taking on a defensive position that blocked the rest of the rescue party. A blond strigoi grabbed her, pulled her down, his teeth sinking into her neck. And then I couldn't see her. Couldn't see anything at all. _

"Would you say," inquired the Queen. "That Rosemarie knew her responsibilities, and was dedicated and devoted, despite her young age?"

I nod. "Moreso than any other novice I have ever met," I say honestly.

The Queen frowns, just the slightest bit, and I can tell that I've said the wrong thing.

"Thank you, Guardian Belikov. You may leave."

I bow again and hurry from the room. As I pass the gallery, I catch a glipse of Adrian and Tasha watching me leave.

I lean back against the stone walls, breathing deeply, and trying to catch even an idea of what just happened. Several minutes later, I see Tasha approaching me, followed by Adrian. Although he's not sober, he looks like he's consumed a lot less alcohol than he usually has by this time.

"What," I ask. "Was that about?"

Tasha and Adrian both shrug. "I have no idea," she shakes her head. I look to Adrian.

"Are you kidding? I'm the last person to ask about what goes on in the Royal Court."

Tasha slips her hand into mine, and I don't pull away, inviting the sudden and comforting warmth.

"Do you want to get lunch?" she asks.

I smile. "Sure." We both look up at Adrian.

He snorts. "Yeah, no thanks. I'd rather not interrupt your lovely meal. Besides, it's not like I want to spend my free time with people who are twice my age. You kids have fun. If you need me, I'll be at the bar."

Tasha laughs and shakes her head. _Typical Adrian. _Besides, I was only about four years older than him, hardly his elder.

"Where do you want to go?" Tasha asks, and we depart the business wing, hand in hand.


	22. Sticking With The Ring

Today was the day that I feared. Vasilisa's eighteenth birthday. I know how much Rose would have loved to be here. Her own eighteenth was an occasion that I spent alone in my room, developing images of what would have happened had she lived.

But now my charge was able to make decisions for herself, and there was nothing I could do to stop her. My _former _charge. Although I was not technically responsible for the Princess, I had made a vow to protect her, because Rose couldn't, and in her state, didn't want to. Vasilisa had told me she was invited by the Queen herself to a celebratory dinner, so I decided to stop by beforehand.

I only knock once when Vasilisa opens the door. "Guardian Belikov!" she cries happily.

"Hello, Princess. I just stopped by to say happy birthday..."

"Come here," she said, stopping my flow of words by grabbing me by the wrist and leading me into her room. "I have to show you something."

When I step inside, I see the bed littered with silver. Stepping closer, I pick up a chain with a silver pendant, one that looks oddly familiar to me. Vasilisa smiled.

"I'm practising," she said proudly, "Since your ring is fading." I look over the jewelry.

"Where did you get all of this?" I ask.

She smiles sheepishly. "I borrowed it from Tasha. She was great about letting me borrow all of this stuff."

I nod. No wonder the necklace looks familiar. I look over the rest of the jewelry, my eyes shifting from heavy pendants to large earrings to thick bracelets to Vasilisa's shining face.

"I think I'll stick with the ring," I say. She laughs.

"Yeah. I think it suits you best." She flops down on the bed. "It's just to practice. And use on Rose. Your ring barely has any magic left, after the whole Rose thing..." Her face takes on a look of grief, one she gets every time she mentions her best friend.

I nod sympathetically. She looks up at me, tears in her eyes. "Do you think it will work? That we can actually bring her back?" she whispers. I sigh and sit down on the edge of the bed.

"I don't know, Princess. The magic...Rose...it all seems so promising. But I'm afraid to get my hopes up."

She sniffles. "How do you do this? I mean, if Christian was turned... I would've screamed. Cried. Locked myself up in my room. But you," she said, looking straight up at me. "You're so calm. I mean, you obviously miss her and everything, but it's just... You're so...composed."

_Oh God, if she only knew. _"Not as nearly much as you think."

Before I can even elaborate, there's a knock on the door. Christian enters, followed by Tasha. Vasilisa jumps up and runs to him, flinging her arms around his neck. His eyes widen in surprise, but he wraps her arms around her, whispering into her hair.

_"Dimitri!" she cries, running at me at full speed. Landing with two feet in front of me, she catapults forward, wrapping her arms and legs around me. I barely am able to catch her, folding my arms underneath her. _

_"Rose," I laugh. "Happy to see me?" She pulls away from the embrace, now face to face to me with her new height. _

_"What do you think?" _

_I gingerly set her down. "What are you doing up at this hour?"_

_She laughs. "Training by myself, since _somebody _has been__ too busy to do their job for the past week..." I sigh. _

_"I _was _doing my job. I told you I was filling in for Guardian Phillips. I think you forget that you're my side project." She makes an offended face. _

_"Side project?" _

_"Yes, but with you, it's a full-time job," I tease. _

_She sticks her tongue out at me and bolts across the gym, daring me to follow. _

"Liss, is something wrong?" Christian asks, bringing me back to reality.

"It's nothing," she mumbles. "Sorry." Her shakes his head and squeezes her hand. A pang of jealousy vibrates in my chest. Jealous. Of two teenagers.

"You okay?" asks Tasha, sitting down beside me on the bed and resting her hand on my knee.

"I'm fine," I tell her, pasting on a thick half-smile. I can tell she isn't buying it, but she never presses it.

"So, where _are _you two kids going?" Tasha teases.

Christian smiles and wraps a lazy arm around her shoulder. "Just to lunch. After that, I'm being ditched."

"You are not!" Vasilisa defends. "I'm going to dinner with the Queen. In all fairness she asked first."

Christian sighs. "But I had _plans _first."

She rolls her eyes and laughs. "We better go."

"You two kids have fun," calls Christian, and they disappear, leaving us in the Princess's room. We stare at each other in silence before agreeing to depart and go get something to eat.

...

Once we have our meals, we both take a seat in the small cafè in the Court.

"I saw you guys are still working on charms," Tasha started, never beating around the bush.

"Well, the Princess is. I'm completely clueless when it comes to Moroi magic."

She laughs. "You aren't finding anything in those books about St. Vladimir?"

I sigh. "Nothing. He dedicated his life to helping Moroi and Dhampirs, not Strigoi." She nods.

"Well the charmed objects obviously work. From what I've heard from you and Lissa, at least."

I nod, looking down at my plate. Until, that is, I feel a sudden heat flush my hand.

Tasha's palm lies over mine, her fingertips rubbing my hand. "Oh, Dimka. I hope there's a way to bring her back."

"Me too," I confess. "I can't live like this. Waiting for her. I need her. And if she's not coming back, I at least need to let myself move on." _If it's even possible. _

"I know, Dimka. I know." We sit in complete silence, her thumb still stroking my palm.

"Tasha! Belikov!" gasped a voice from behind us. We both turn to face a panting Adrian.

"God, you need to start wearing bells or something. Do you know how long it took me to find you?"

"Adrian!" Tasha encouraged.

"Right! You know when you were summoned by the Council?" he asked me.

"Yes..."

"Well, I know why!" We looked at him expectantly. "The Council voted on a new law. They changed the graduation age. The sophomores are getting they're assignments at sixteen."

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**Please review! And thanks to the few people who did last chapter!**


	23. To Dimitri, With Love

I sit, frozen, unable to move. My stomach clenches and knots. Tasha's hand is clapped over her mouth, tears in her eyes.

"Wh-what?" she breathes. Adrian's expression turns even more saddened.

"The Council voted. Because of what Rose did in Spokane, they decided that sophomores should be able to fight. Protect the Moroi."

"That's suicide!" cries Tasha. "They can't just send kids out like that!"

Adrian shrugs. "Yeah they can. Rose is all the proof they need."

They both turn to me, watching expectantly. I gape, unable to come up with any response. Eventually, the shock wears off, and anger shoots through me. Rose was right about my struggle with self control. She had always been right about me.

"We need to do something!" I demand, rising from my chair. "They can't just make a decision without consulting parents, teachers,_ students_!"

Adrian sighs. "Yeah, well, they did. And of course they can, they're the Royal Moroi _Council. _They can do whatever the hell they want."

"We have to do something," I say again. Tasha looks hopeful, but Adrian just shakes his head, as if we are simple and naive.

"Good luck," he mumbles, raising the drink in his hand as a mocking salute. I slowly sit back down, rubbing my eyes with the heel of my palms. This is all my fault. I suddenly feel Tasha beside me, massaging circles into my back.

"We'll figure something out," she assures. "We'll fight this."

I sigh and look up at her, my elbows resting on my knees. "I should have said how traumatized she was afterwards. How she was put into therapy. What she was like when we found her. Her _face." _The images have haunted me since the day that we found her. Her eyes. Her eyes had been dead. Lifeless. Just like they were now, as a strigoi.

Tasha sighs, removing her fingertips from rubbing my back, and grabs my shoulder, pulling me close. Her head rests on my shoulder, and I move back slowly against the back of my chair, leaning my cheek on the top of her hair.

"I don't know what to do," I confess. She sighs again.

"We can fix this. We'll fix this." We stay like this, leaning on each other for comfort, for a long time, watching people enter and exit the cafe. Finally, I pulled away, telling Tasha I needed to go, but in reality, I just needed to be alone.

As I move towards my room, I realized it truely can never be the same. I would never again have what I had with Rose. I had been unable to leave Rose when Tasha made the offer in the first place, but now that she was gone, I thought maybe it would allow me to move on. But I had always been able to lend comfort from Rose, I had never pushed her away because I didn't want to be near her, because I just wanted to be alone. But with Tasha, I felt the need to be alone, like before I had known Rose. I removed myself and supressed my emotions.

It would never be the same.

When I finally reach my room, anger, guilt, regret and mourning sweep over me, exhausting me, weighing me down. It pulls on my shoulders, and I find myself longing for rest, to leave behind my consious mind.

With a grunt, I collapsed onto my mattress, kicking off my shoes. To my surprise, I hear the crinkling of paper. Rolling over reveals a neatly folded, slightly creased note. Cautiously, I open it, instantly recognizing the writing.

_Dear Comrade,  
Sorry I couldn't be there for Lissa's, and my own, graduation, although I'm sure  
you were happy _not _to see me. I'm sure you'll never want to see me again, but  
unfortunately, it's unavoidable. I will see you again. And I will kill you._

_I don't want to do it, but you had a choice, and since I can't force you to change,  
it's the only choice I have. You've got way to good of a chance of finding me with  
the change in the bond, and I can't risk that. Because of this, I have to turn her,  
and if you get in my way, I'll kill you slowly and painfully. _

_So, Comrade. You have a choice to make. You can die instantly, or you can suffer  
so much that you'll beg me to kill you. So which will it be?_

_-Roza_

I read and reread the note several times, processing and analyzing every word.

_Don't you ever just react? God, I'm surprised you fight at all with the time it takes you to think,_ I could almost hear Rose say.

Rose. She was coming to Court. Even with the extra protection, she would come. She had gotten through the academy. She would get through the Court.

...

I watch silently as Queen Tatiana scans the letter before looking back up. "And this was in your room when you got there?" she ask.

"Yes, Your Majesty," I respond. She nods and reads the letter once again.

"What's going to happen?" asks a shaking Vasilisa. The Queen sighs and sets down the note.

"For the safety of the other Royals, I think we need to remove you from Court."

"_What?" _I blurt, immediately biting my tongue afterwards. _Control yourself, Belikov_.

The Queen flicks her gaze towards me, annoyed. "I cannot risk the lives of the other Royal Moroi here." I resist the urge to sigh. Only those who are royal and Moroi get the Queen's concern. "We will remove her from Court. Of course we will send her with protection. Many Guardians. We will put up wards to protect her. She is the last Dragomir Princess. She will not be forgotten."

I supress my protest, knowing that this is the smartest choice to please everyone. But, it might also save Vasilisa. Many Guardians will be dedicated to protecting only her. She will have a better chance of survival. It truely is the best choice, even though no options are great.

I nod in agreement, and wait until she finishes with the plans. We bow to the Queen and exit the room.

Vasilisa is visibly shaken. "It's for the best. You'll be protected. You'll be safer," I promise.

She bites her lip, but nods anyways. "Liss?" asks a voice from behind her.

She spins, revealing a concerned Christian. "Are you alright? What happened?" She throws herself into his arms, sobbing into his shirt, as if they're break-up has never happened.

"Dimitri?" Tasha appears behind the two, a smile on her face at the embrace, but she still radiated with concern at the Princess's tears.

I summerized the meeting, and the decision the Queen made for Vasilisa's protection.

"You're leaving?" Tasha asks, tears in her eyes. I sigh.

"I have to. I'm one of the Guardians chosen to protect Vasilisa." The fact that they had chosen me at all surprised me. I had disappeared from the school to hunt Rose, but, unable to find her, I returned. I was 'fired' from being her personal Guardian. Even at Court, I was usually on border patrol, or just a regular Guardian, although I'm sure my reputation had been tarnished. But at this point, my reputation was at the bottom of my list of concerns.

But, I suppose I am extendable. I am not needed here. I have erroded my reputation. I can easily be sent away. But I am a good Guardian, I can protect the princess.

Tasha walks forward to embrace me, resting one arm across my shoulders and the other clutching my back.

"Come home safely," she whispers, her lips near my ear. I do not respond. I can't promise her anything, because I am almost certain I will die.


	24. Attack

**Thank you to the very few people who reviewed on my previous chapter! And to those who read, please review! It lets me know that someone out there is actually reading this!**

* * *

I sit utterly still in the wooden chair, a western novel beside me. I have lost all interest in them lately, the normally captivating plot lines seeming dull and shallow to my current life. But then, my current life seems much more complicated then I ever would have thought possible.

I am forced to choose between Vasilisa and Rose. Vasilisa, who I took an oath to protect, and Rose, the woman I love, who I swore I wouldn't let anything happen to. I had given each of them my word, but now that they were against each other, I was forced to chose between them.

At first, I had chosen Rose, it had always been Rose, I would always choose Rose, but I soon learned that things were much more complicated than I had originally thought. I had let Rose die, and I had almost let her kill her best friend. If the Rose I had known would rather die than be a strigoi, than surely she would rather die than kill Vasilisa.

So, here I was, guarding Vasilisa, sitting in my small room, in a isolated house in Vermont, awaiting my shift. I shared the room with two other guardians, both of which were on night duty until midnight, human time. I had already taken a double shift, and the Princess herself demanded I rest.

But sleep only brought dreams of Rose, Rose as the woman I knew, Rose as a strigoi, and it seemed to make me even more exhausted.

"Guardian Belikov?"

I turn to face the startling blond princess. "Princess?" I reply.

She sighs and walks over, sitting down on the bottom bunk, my bunk.

"When I said you should rest, I meant it," she said, somewhat teasingly.

I try to smile, but I can feel the grimace that turns my lips. "I can't sleep."

"Rose?" she asks softly.

I don't respond, but let my eyes shift downwards. She sighs.

"I can feel her. She's watching me. The bond is getting stronger when she-" Vasilisa freezes, tears filling her eyes. I nod slowly, understanding. _When she murders more innocent people. _I keep my face impassive, but inside, pain pulsed through me. _Oh God, Roza. _

Just like when Rose was able to absorb Vasilisa's spirit effects, the more lives she took, the stronger the bond grew. Except she was strigoi, the more blood she drank, the more powerful she became. And when the two combined, Vasilisa was able to feel Rose through the bond, not just the other way around.

I look down at my watch. "My shift starts soon, Princess," I tell her, although I am needed in a little more than ten minutes. I have never been one for emotions. At least, displayed emotions.

But she sighs and nods. "Yeah, I just wanted to see how you were." And in that moment, I see right through Vasilisa's strength, her Royal face, her exterior. She's lonely. She misses her old life, she misses Christian and Adrian. She misses Rose.

"I'll," I sigh, rising from my seat. "I'll talk to you after my shift, okay?" I say awkwardly. She smiles and nods, before departing my room. I groan and rise, starting off towards my shift.

The Guardian at the border looks extremely grateful to be relieved of his shift. As I settle into the night, I find my mind wandering to Rose, as if my mind had ever wandered from her. The way she looked when she was angry with me, the way I found her in Spokane, her eyes haunted, the way she looked in the cabin, her face peaceful, leaning upwards to kiss me, her hands...

_Stop it! _I shook my head to clear it, focusing instead on my duty. I move around the perimeter of the house, spinning the silver ring on my finger. I'm sure it has already lost it's magic, but I continue to wear it. Although I hate to admit it, I like to think that Rose had held this, that it had changed her back, however slight, into the woman that I would give my life to keep safe, the woman that I fell in love with.

I slipped the ring from my finger, examining it under the moonlight. It was a plain silver band, but I felt as though I might be able to see the magic, or see it fading. But, obviously, I saw nothing but it's glow under the pale moon.

Further ahead, another glimmer drew my eye. It glinted and shined as I approached, although the long grasses covered it. Kneeling down, I brush the green strands aside.

A stake.

A stake has broken the wards. Horror sweeps through me, and I fell lightheaded. I look up, unable to continue staring at the stake. Unfortunately, my eyes fall over a dark, unmoving figure laying on the ground. A body.

"Oh God," I mumble, falling to my knees beside the body. I gently turn the shoulder, rolling the body onto it's back. Gently away brushing strands of dark hair, I search the young woman's face. A human. Bite marks litter her neck, one that is much newer than the others, as blood streaks from the punctures, although no new blood is flowing. The young girl reminds me so much of Rose it makes my chest throb. _This could have been her, _I think with horror, _if she would have died in the caves. _

"Buria," whispers a voice from behind me. I jump around, baring my stake from my jacket pocket.

A small, thin strigoi stands before me. His blond hair hangs in his face. He looks familiar somehow. He had obviously been Moroi, with his slim figure, but I had no doubt of his strength. He wasn't old by any stretch, but he wasn't a newborn strigoi.

"Rose is very upset with you," he hisses.

"Are there more of you?" I demand, pretending I don't care about what he's just said. "Where's Rose?"

He smirks. "There's more of us. They're already here. Rose will be watching you."

I lunge. My stake collides with his chest, and he screams, then drops, writhing for several moments. I run.

I run towards the house, my feet slapping the grass. "Buria!" I scream, fighting for breath.

But as I reach the old, wooden house, I see that the exterior Guardians are already fighting. Without hesitating, I slip through the fight, throwing open the door and charging up the stairs.

Vasilisa's room is at the end of the hall, and when I open the door, I am bombarded with Guardians, until they realize that I am living, breathing, tan.

"Vasilisa," I gasp through my loss of breath. She sobs and throws herself into my arms, shaking.

Although I am shocked, I have experience with crying girls, thanks to my sisters, and gently close my hands around her forearms, kneeling in front of her.

"Rose is coming," I tell her, although I'm sure she already knows. "I came here to make sure you were alright. I'll come find you, right at dawn. If you don't see me..." I trail off, letting her finish the sentence. It makes her shake harder, but her soft face hardens with determination. She nods.

Before I can leave, I feel a tugging on my sleeve. I turn to face Vasilisa. "Where's your ring?" she asks.

I reach down to my finger, but realize it's not there. I must have dropped it at the borders. I look back up and meet her eyes. She seems to understand. "Give me your stake," she demands. I reach into my jacket pocket without questioning. She closes her eyes, gripping the stake, and before I can ask questions, I recognize that face. It comes when she summons her spirit.

"It's the only thing you'll be carrying all night," she explains, handing me back my stake. "Be safe." All I can do is nod before running out of the room, weapon ready.


	25. Failure

Horror. Horror and chaos. Everywhere. Several bodies littered the yard, of what species, I didn't know.

Clutching my stake firmly, I plunge it into the back of a nearby strigoi. The Guardian who was fighting him catches my eye for a fleeting second, giving me a slight nod. There is no time for thanks or appreciation. Not when death surrounds us.

I am already battered and bloody. I have been fighting for hours, maybe minutes, I cannot tell. Every strigoi, every face, I search for Rose.

There were twenty Guardians assigned to Vasilisa. Twenty. That's more than the Queen had. But it was obviously neccessary. Five Guardian's stayed inside, protecting Vasilisa. The rest, including me, were fighting for our lives, keeping the five guardians inside from even having to fight.

My body ached everywhere, my legs felt like they would give out on me. My arms throbbed painfully, but I continued to push forward, ignoring the agony of my muscles when I tried to push the stake into the chest of a strigoi.

Most of these strigoi were newly turned, or at least had been awakened in my lifetime. Ancient strigoi answered to no one, they were always in charge, although I'm sure these strigoi weren't under Rose's _command_, they were just after bloodshed.

Dawn was fast approaching, and I was tiring quickly. Sweat pours from my forehead and runs into my eyes as I shove my elbow into the neck of a nearby strigoi. This fight is much longer than the battle at the academy. The very thought of me, fighting at the perimeter of the school, fighting for Vasilisa, fighting for Rose, for _us, _brings newfound stamina to me, and I slam my fist into the jaw of a strigoi with extra ferocity.

With one last grunt, I bring my fist upwards, sliding the stake between the ribs of the young vampire. She collapses, and everything goes silent. I pant, staring at her body, the death that I caused. It takes me several seconds to realize that this is it, it's over. Rose wasn't here. _Unless she's one of these bodies. _

I squeeze my eyes shut. How strange, that I was prepared to kill her, but I was falling apart at the very idea of her..._dead. _

One of the Guardians, the 'head' Guardian assigned to Vasilisa's protection, broke through the stunned silence. "Check the perimeters. Yard and house."

Several guardians made their way to the outside edge of the yard, one tended to the injured, while two of us, me included, took the perimeter of the house. I checked every body, every one of their faces. None of them Rose.

Grief and confusion was starting to get to me. Was I supposed to be captured? Or did this have nothing to do with me. Perhaps this was an entirely seperate attack, maybe Rose's was still coming. I snap out of my thoughts when I hear the sound of my leather boots crunching on glass.

A window was broken. _Oh God. _

"In the house!" I cry, alerting the others. But all I can think of is Vasilisa. I slam my elbow against remaining shards of the window, breaking it even further, and crawl through it, not wasting any time in moving around the house. I fly up the stairs, and without breathing, kick open Vasilisa's door.

"Glad you could join us, Comrade."

The voice sends chills down my spine. All five of the Guardians are dead, blood running from their necks, their chests. I can hear the pounding of feet on the wooden stairs behind me, and then the silence when they come into view of the room.

Strigoi. Ten, maybe fifteen of them. And about seven Guardians left. Vasilisa is huddled in the corner, tears streaming down her face.

"Dimitri!" she screams, and it makes my heart ache. I've failed her.

"Shut up," Rose hisses, turning her head to the side. "You're next, Liss."

Strigoi are poised threateningly at her sides, but I see only her. Her hair is pulled up, the way she knows I like it. Her body is clad in a leather jacket, and she looks..._dangerous. _Like she could kill without effort, without thought. She is still beautiful, despite her chalky skin and dark makeup.

"I came back for you, just like I told you I would. And to turn Lissa, of course. So, are you going to fight me and die painfully, or just give in?" she asks, her lips curling up into a smile that chills me to my very core.

I flick my gaze back to Vasilisa. "You won't touch her," I growl. "This isn't you, Rose. You've killed innocent people! You're going to kill the people you love. How many people have to die?"

Rose smirks. "This _is _me, Dimitri. I'm just who I used to be, but better, stronger. I've told you that."

I lunge. Her eyes widen in surprise, but she quickly recovers. I slam her into the wall, but she grabs the lapels of my jacket and turns, so I'm pressed against the peeling wallpaper.

"Just admit it, Comrade. You still want me, you're tempted to give in, so we can be together," she says, her 'soft' voice still sharp with edges.

"No!" I hiss, but it's too late, she's already seen through me. She's knows she's right.

I push back against the wall, as far as I can go, and shove myself forwards. We both topple to the ground, and I try to manuever my stake with Rose struggling beneath me. My hand draws back when she strikes out, knocking the stake from my hand. I jump off of her and try to grab my stake, but it has already rolled out of my grasp. Rose grabs my shoulders, and jerks me back.

She rolls on top of me, her hands pressing into my chest and her legs on either side of my hips. "You can't win, Dimitri. You know you can't win." And she does the one thing that I cannot be prepared against. She leans in and presses her cold lips to my neck.

It takes all of my strength to remove myself, to not give in. I think of Rose, who she used to be. "No," I whisper, and sit up.

I jump to my feet, gripping Rose's thighs, which are still on either side of me. She roars in anger at being overcome and starts to fight me. She kicks out, and I drop her legs, but wrap my arms around her lower back, pinning her to my chest. _My stake, _I realize, _I'm weaponless. _I turn to look for my dropped stake.

I see the spark of silver across the room, and my eyes travel upwards. Vasilisa.

The stake is pressed under her foot, and she looks around at the chaos with fear in her eyes. "Princess," I gasp. She seems to just notice me, and picks up the stake, inching towards me.

Just then, Rose slams her forehead against mine. My vision swims, and she almost gets loose, but I tighten my grip on her waist, and snake my hand around the back of her neck, pulling her against my shoulder.

"Let GO!" she yells, her voice muffled by my skin, fighting against me. Vasilisa has stopped at the sight of Rose's anger.

"Princess," I beg. I need my stake. I can't hold Rose for long.

But Rose manages to pull away enough to jump up and sink her teeth into my neck. I cry out in pain, and soon feel the sudden rush of endorphins hit me. But Rose's teeth are sharp and she pulls and tugs her head, tearing apart my skin from the inside, pulling it off of my body. I cry out, biting back a scream of agony.

"Vasi..." I stop short, becoming more and more removed from reality as another wave of pain rips through me. I grip onto Rose even harder, trying to find comfort, trying to relieve the pain, and I can feel it infuriate her. The blood is draining from me, and I can feel myself growing weaker and weaker. I was dying.

"Va..." My words are shaky and broken, and I can no longer speak. But I can still her see. Vasilisa has tears streaming down her face, but she steps forward, baring her stake.

_Princess, NO! _I try to scream, but my voice catches in my throat. Through the darkening edges of my vison, I see her push forward, now within arms reach. _I'm going to faint, _I realize, as the pain pulses through me.

Vasilisa plunges the stake into Rose's back.

Rose lets out a muffled scream and twists in my arms, pulling at my skin even more. I cry out, the force is excruciating. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to die. "Please," I gasp, although no one can help me. I can still feel her teeth and lips on mine, drinking.

Vasilisa pushes the stake in deeper, fighting with muscle and bone. Rose screams again, and I can feel her arms tighten around me. We are now gripping each other, trying to fight the agony.

With one final shove, Vasilisa throws her entire weight behind the stake.

Light. Pure, white light blasts through the room, the very force of it blowing back Guardians, blowing back _Vasilisa. _But I wrap both my arms around Rose's waist, holding her, protective of her even after the excruitiating pain she has put me through. Slowly, very slowly, can feel Rose's fangs retract, and the stinging pain softens. In it's place, an overpowering feeling soothes me, something warm, electric, passes between us. I can feel the power pulse through my bloodstream.

It is like nothing I've ever felt before. I am drawn to Rose, attached to her very soul, pulling her tighter, holding her closer, as if I cannot breathe without her, I can't live without her nearby. I have to protect her. I _need_ to protect her. Deep within my gut, I can feel...pain. Sadness, grief, and horror.

But, as soon as it has come, the light is gone, like a light switch turned off. The room falls silent, not a breath from anyone. The Guardians are staring at us in shock, Vasilisa is looking up from her place on the floor, stunned. Each second that passes, I slowly gain back my senses. Enough to realize that I am clinging to Rose desperately, my hands digging into her hips. Her teeth are no longer in my neck, and she's..._shaking. _

At first I think I'm mistaken, but I can feel heat creep into my arms, from...Rose. Her arms are wrapped me and her face buried into my neck. I cannot breathe, but I force myself to say,

"Roza?" My voice is shaking and cracking. I shift so I am cradling her in my arms, as if I could break her. Slowly, so slowly, she pulls her head away. _OhGodohGodohGod. _

Her face is a beautiful tan, her eyes warm as rich coffee. She's back.

And she's weeping.

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**Rose is back! (obviously) Please, please review, you guys, it lets me know that people are actually reading this, and it makes me more enthusiastic about updating! **


	26. Rejection

**Wow! Thank you so much for your amazing reviews! I was so excited by your comments, I decided to write this chapter a little sooner than I normally would have! I'm also giving a preview as a response to your review! I'm doing this to thank everyone who stuck with me! Thanks!**

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Tears stream down her face, flushing her cheeks, a colour I thought I'd never see again. Her lips are quivering, and when she sees me, she looks up, wide eyed, as if I am as big of shock right now as she is to me.

I have never seen Rose cry. "_I'm _Rose Hathaway, _I don't even have tear ducts," _she used to joke.

"Roza, oh God, Roza," I whisper, burying my face into her neck, despite our height difference, trying to pull her closer, trying to keep her with me, to never let her go. But to my complete horror, she threads her hands up against my chest and pulls completely out of my grasp, shoving me away from her, taking my heart with her. "Please," I whisper, but she is already gone.

"Rose?" chokes Vasilisa. Rose turns and sees the Princess.

"Lissa," she sobs, and throws herself into her friend's arms. My whole body aches, I need her in my arms. Now. I step forward, but am intrrupted by the shouting of Guardians.

"Princess!" They start forward, stakes ready. Everything in my body screams, and I throw myself in front of them.

"NO!" I roar, jumping to block them. "She's not a danger! Look at her!" They pause, then finally, pocket their weapons, but still swarm forward, pulling Roza away. "No!" I shout again, but am stopped by a hand on my shoulder.

"Guardian Belikov?" I spin sharply to face Vasilisa.

"They can't take her!" I roar. "She's not a monster! She's..._Rose. _They can't do that to her!" Some deep part of me realizes that I'm hysterical, but there's something inside me that is pulled to Rose, that makes me need to protect her, at any cost, however impossible.

She looks at me. "How did this happen?" she whispers. "How did she turn back?"

I pull away. "I don't care! But I need her, here! Where are they taking her?"

"I don't know," she whispers. Her eyes are heavy, and her face looks feverish.

I momentarily distract myself. "Princess, are you okay? Have you fed recently?" I ask, recalling the magic she used to charm my stake. Vasilisa shakes her head. "Do you need... I could..." I trail off, not really knowing how to finish. She smiles and shakes her head.

"I can make it back to the academy. Besides, I think you've lost enough blood. But thanks."

I seem to realize what I have just offered. Rose had let Vasilisa drink from her during the time they had spent from the academy. I had witnessed it there, watched in horror, but as well as an eerie sort of respect, as Rose sacrificed herself, and her reputation, for Vasilisa.

And I had offered to do the same thing. I didn't crave the endorphins of the bite, and I didn't want to be bitten in the first place, but I was willing to for Vasilisa, just as Rose had been.

And I realized how much I would give for the Princess. For both of them.

...

We were loaded into a black SUV. I had no idea where Rose had been taken, to another SUV, I supposed. I sit with Vasilisa, who is attempting, and failing, at calming me down.

"I need to see her," I demand again. "Where is she?"

The Princess shifts in her seat to look at me. "Dimitri, she'll be fine, they think she's dangerous. Once they see that she's back to normal, they'll let her go."

"I need to see her," I mumble, to no one in particular. "I need her."

Vasilisa's eyes narrow, watching me. She reaches out, gently touching my neck. I watch as she pulls her hand away, her fingertips stained red. In brush my hand over the wound, and stare in amazement as I see my palm smeared with blood. The Princess presses her hands against my neck, and before I can feel the warmth of her healing, I pull her hands away, assuring that I'm fine, that she's too weak to be using her ability.

I lean back into my chair, waiting. I tried to picture where Rose could be, but I could only get waves of depression, hopelessness, need, desperation. The foreign emotions push into my gut, sharp-edged and stinging.

"Where's Rose?" I growl to the guardian driving. "I need to see Rose!"

Vasilisa is studying me. "They think she's dangerous, Dimitri."

"She's not! She needs me! She's in pain!" I demand, my voice hard and angry. The Princess sits back, regarding me with a peculiar expression.

"You...You can feel that? Are you... Do you think you guys are bonded?"

_Bonded. Bonded to Rose. _I thought of how Rose could slip into Vasilisa's head, how she could feel her emotions, tell what she was doing. But what I was feeling from Rose, it was like a sixth sense, a creeping feeling of emotions that I could recognize as foreign, only existing in a small, deep region of my mind.

I slowly shake my head. "No... We're not bonded. Not as you two are, at least. When you staked her, it was a _connection. _I could feel her. I could feel as her soul healed." A ran a hand through my hair, at a loss for words. It was warm, electric, sizzling from where her teeth were embedded in my neck into my bloodstream, where it spread throughout my entire body. It wasn't a bond, but it was something, deep, something strong. Something indescribable.

...

As soon as we arrived back at the Court, I stride quickly into the Court. "I need to see Rose," I demand. "Where is she?"

Hans, the head Guardian, looks down on me, despite the fact that I had a half a foot of height on him.

"She's locked away. Far out of your reach, or anyone else's for that matter. Sorry, Belikov, I know she used to be your student, but that doesn't give you any visiting rights."

I step forward threateningly. "She's a dhampir. _Look _at her for God's sake." I had never spoken with such disrespect to the head Guardian, but anger tumbled from my mouth before I could stop it. Perhaps Rose really was rubbing off on me. Vasilisa steps behind me, putting her hand on my shoulder.

But Hans only smirks. "Hathaway stays locked up until we get to examine her."

Knowing when I have been dismissed, I turn to leave. Vasilisa gasps and I look up in time to see Christian appear down the corridor.

"Christian!" the Princess cries, and throws herself into his arms.

"Thank God," he murmurs, stroking her hair.

Tasha, as always, appears behind them. "Dimitri!" she says in surprise and relief, stepping forward to embrace me.

"What's going on?" she asks, gazing around at the flurry of activity.

"It's Rose," I say shakily. "The Princess...she turned Rose back. She's a dhampir." Tasha stares, slack jawed.

"Are you sure?" she whispers.

_Yes I'm sure! _I want to scream. "Yes, I'm positive. She's a dhampir. She's _Rose_." Tasha nods, but suddenly, her eyes widen in horror.

"Oh God, Dimka," she whispers, her fingers reaching up and brushing against my bleeding neck. I put my hand over hers, grasping it.

"I'm fine," I whispers. She nods.

"I'm so glad you're alright," she says, and gives me one last hug, "but you have to go to the infirmary."

I shake my head, but Tasha rolls her eyes. "You're pale, you're shaking, you're _bleeding! _Dimka, do you _sound _fine?" Her grabs my wrist and turns to Christian, who was supporting Vasilisa.

"I'm taking her to the feeders," he explained, and the two depart, Christian's arm around her shoulders.

Tasha gives me a small smile while tugging me towards the infirmary. "You should have seen him when he heard about the attack. He was almost hysterical."

"Tasha," I sigh. "I just want to see Rose."

She turns to me, her hands on her hips. "They won't let you," she stated, as if she had witnessed my earlier frustrations. "And it's not going to do you much good if you pass out before then."

I am too exhausted to argue, and just let her lead me towards the infirmary.

The doctor looks quite shocked to see me, blood running down my neck, and brings me to a small room. I lay down on the small bed, sinking into the mattress, letting my exhaustion finally take over.

Before I completely drifted into oblivion, I felt the slightest of pressure on my lips. "Goodnight, Dimka."

And I was gone.

...

White. That's the only thing I see when I open my eyes. White.

Suddenly, pain floods through my body, and I groan.

"Good morning," says a cheery voice from beside me. I shift my head to the side to see a young Moroi nurse with a clipboard.

"What happened?" I ask groggily. She smiles at me, amused at my confusion.

"Lady Ozera brought you in after the attack."

_Rose! _I jump out of bed, ignoring the silent scream of my muscles. "I have to go!"

The nurse looks even more amused. "But you're _staying. _The doctor will be in to check you over."

"But I really need to go! I've already slept in..."

"Belikov, sit back down," says a foreign voice coming into the room. The doctor.

I ease back onto the bed as she quickly assess me.

"Looks like you're good to go. Just take it easy, no exguardian duty for a few days, and no excessive exersize for-" She is cut off when I run from the room, dashing down the corridor and towards the prison. _Rose, _my mind chants, _Go to Rose. Rose needs you! _I pick up the pace, quickly approaching the jail.

I burst through the doors, and am quickly stopped by two Guardians. "State your buisiness."

I repress a sigh at the delay. "I need to see Rosemarie Hathaway."

"No visitors," she says firmly.

"Look," I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "I need to make sure she's alright. I'm- I _was _her mentor."

The male guardian shakes his head. "She doesn't want to see anyone."

Desperation takes over. "She'll want to see _me. _Tell her Dimitri wants to see her," I say firmly.

The guardians exchange glances. "Dimitri Belikov?" I nod. "She asked specifically _not _to see you."

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**STOP! Don't worry! Before you can bombard my inbox with angry comments and reviews, don't worry! I am _not _going to use the exact same storyline as Spirit Bound! It's going to branch off and get more original! I promise :)**


	27. Not Enough

**Wow! Thank you so much for your awesome reviews! I was starting to think no one was reading! Thank you! And, once again, I'm giving a preview as a response to your reviews.**

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"I- _What?" _

The Guardian sighed. "She's still being examined. Besides, she doesn't want to see anyone, especially not you."

I couldn't believe it. She didn't want to see me? After everything? But she needed me, I can feel it. "No one's been in to visit her?"

The Guardians exchanged glances. I gape. "She's allowing others to see her?" I ask.

"Well," says the male guardian, "Not you."

I narrow my eyes, but supress my anger. "Whose been to see her?" I demand, my voice coming out as a growl.

"That's confidenti-"

"Vasilisa?" I interrupt. They don't say anything, but I can tell that I have discovered the truth. "She let the Princess in?" Hurt pulses through me, rejection.

He shrugs, as if this is a small action, as if this is something to wave off. I sigh.

"If I could just see-" I begin, but the Guardian holds up his hand, silencing me.

"Sorry. We've got orders to follow."

I nod, pretending to understand, and depart, each step radiating pain through me.

Rose didn't want to see me. All I wanted was to see her, hold her, comfort her, let her comfort me. I had been without her for so long. Oddly, the pain of loss when she was taken from me was almost outmatched by the pain of her purposely distancing herself from me. This time, she had left by choice.

Before I realize where I am going, I find myself in front of the Moroi apartments. I instantly know where I need to go. When I finally reach my destination, I knock loudly on the door.

The Princess appears at the door. "Guardian Belikov! You're out of the infirmary! How are you?"

"I need you to come with me," I say bluntly, and step aside, letting her exit the room. She hesitantly takes a step out, assessing me.

"Are you alright?" she asks as I lead her out of the building.

"You're going to get me into see Rose," I say.

She sighs. "I knew you'd find out." She stops, looking me in the eye. "She's a mess Dimitri. She might not want to see you now, but-"

"She needs me!" I say, the hundredth repetition of these words. "I need to see her. I've thought she was gone for months now, I thought I had lost her. And now, by some miracle, she's back. But I don't get to see her. I'm loosing her all over again! I won't let that happen. I need to see her."

When I finish, my breathing is laboured. Vasilisa's arms are still crossed, but she sighs. "Alright. What do I need to do?"

...

"So," Vasilisa explains to the Guardian, "because I can't make it this afternoon, I asked Guardian Belikov here to ask her a few questions. For me."

The Guardian listens to her story, then flicks his gaze towards me. But when he raises a brow, I know I've lost. "Is that so?" His voice rings with sarcasm.

"It's true." Vasilisa's voice is thick and sweet. "Guardian Belikov is going in to see Rose. It's important that he does, right?" The Guardian's eyes become glazed over, and he slowly nods. Vasilisa turns to me, a winning smile on her face. _Compulsion._

I smile and give her a quick hug, however inappropriate it may be in public for this friendly exchange. "Thank you," I whisper, and slip down the stairs into the basement.

...

The prison is stark and barren, and I shudder at the very thought of Rose being contained here. It breaks my heart. She must be going crazy, pacing in her cell.

But when I finally find Rose, the site before me is more painful than I imagined. Rose is completely still, lying on a small cot in the corner of the cell, facing the wall, her back to me.

"Roza," I breathe, not meaning to speak out loud. She doesn't stiffen, doesn't turn around, and I realize she's been expecting me.

"Please leave."

"No," I say, my voice unusually calm and collected.

"Please!"

"No!" I shoot back, my tone softer, more gentle. "Roza, don't push me away."

Slowly, so slowly, she turns. Her hair hangs limp and knotted around her face. Her eyes are dead, lifeless. She is empty, a shell that had once held a soul.

"Please. Go."

Frustration takes over. _Patience, Belikov. _"Rose, Roza. Don't do this. You can't do this."

Anger flares in her dim eyes. "Sorry, Dimitri. This is my glorified closet. I'll do whatever the hell I want with it."

_There_ was the Rose that I knew. "Rose, _please. _I thought you were dead! I thought you were gone! And you came back, and it was like my entire sorry existance seemed brighter. And now you're pushing me away! I love you, Rose! I need you! And you need me, don't even try to deny it, I know you felt that connection, whatever it was. Something _happened, _Rose, and we can't just ignore it."

Her bottom lip quivers, but she pushes as much anger into her words as possible. "You have no idea," she whispers. "What I'm going through."

"Then let me in! _Talk to me." _

She scoffs, but a tear leaks from the corner of her eye. With a shaky breath, she wipes her face with the sleeve of an oversized gray sweatshirt, an article of clothing completely foreign to me. "I killed people, Dimitri. _Innocent _people. I murdered them. I wanted to turn my best friend into a monster like I was. I can't live with this. I can't- It's... I don't want to live knowing what I did. I don't have anything to live _for. _I trained my whole life just to be a Guardian. That's never going to happen now, I didn't even graduate!"

"You have me!" I beg, reasoning. "You have me to live for! I live for you! The only thing that kept me going for this long was to fufill my promise to you!"

"What about my promise to you? I said I would protect you! I fed off of you, like you were a _feeder. _Did you know that? You were something I wanted, something to play with. Makes you change your mind about still loving me, doesn't it?" she laughs, a sharp, crisp note, tears still streaming down her face.

"No," I say firmly. "It doesn't."

She bites back I sob.

"Roza," I plead. "Don't do this." I reach through the bars, hoping she'll take my hand, come closer, _anything. _But instead, she stumbles backwards until her back thuds against the stone wall.

"Please leave," she whispers, her voice cracking.

"No!" I all but shout. "No, Rose. Not until you talk to me!" I expect a cocky, Rose remark. _Then what am I doing now, just converting air to carbon dioxide? I _am _talking to you, Comrade. _

But she just slides down the wall, as if her legs have given out on her, and buries her face into her knees. Instinct makes me jolt forward, but I am stopped by the bars.

"Then let me in! _Talk to me." _

She scoffs, but a tear leaks from the corner of her eye. With a shaky breath, she wipes her face with the sleeve of an oversized gray sweatshirt, an article of clothing completely foreign to me.

"Roza," I plead. "Don't do this." I reach through the bars, hoping she'll take my hand, come closer, _anything. _But instead, she stumbles backwards until her back thuds against the stone wall.

"Please leave," she whispers again, her voice cracking.

"No!" I all but shout. "No, Rose. Not until you talk to me!" I expect a cocky, Rose remark. _Then what am I doing now, just converting air to carbon dioxide? I _am _talking to you, Comrade. _

But she just slides down the wall, as if her legs have given out on her, and buries her face into her knees. Instinct makes me jolt forward, but I am stopped by the bars, and I fall to my knees, trying to get as close to her as possible. "Rose, Roza, please. I'm right here," I whisper. "I'm right here."

Slowly, she lifts her face to meet mine. "I'm right here," I say again, and she creeps forward, slowly pushing herself towards me. When her face is only inches from my outstretched hand, I hear footsteps echo against the walls.

"I think it's time for you to go," he says harshly, staring disapprovingly at the two of us on the floor, only inches away. I look back at Rose, desperate, and twist sideways, turning so I can push my shoulder farther through the bars. My fingertips brush Rose's cheek, and we both take in a breath.

Something strong and electric pulses through my arm, the deep part within me, the part connected to Rose when she was turned back, seems to beat rhythmatically. It was as if all that heartache, all of the pain, was worth just that one moment, that one touch. I could feel it energize me, an adrenaline rush. But it was over all too soon as the Guardian reaches down and grabs my free arm, jerking me away from Rose. She shys away, retreating back into the corner of the cell, shock and confusion etched onto her face.

My legs seem to give out on me, and I watch, as he pulls me away, Rose's shoulders shake with sobs. We turn the corner, and she's gone.

...

Vasilisa meets me at the door as the Guardian deposits me at ground level once more. "How did it go?" she asks, and I want to laugh, although I find no humour in the situation.

"I was just escorted out of the prison by a Guardian. Not well, Princess." I collapse onto a wooden bench pushed against the wall.

"What did she say?"

"She said," I sigh. "That she has no reason to live."

Vasilisa blinks back tears and takes a seat beside me. "What about me? What about you, Dimitri? She loves you, more than anything, I can... I can tell."

I sit up, staring in disbelief. "The bond is still two ways?"

She nods. "Yeah, and you're her reason to live!"

I push myself off of the bench, sure that if I stay, I will do something that I'll regret, and tear up, or worse, cry. "I guess I'm not enough," I whisper, and leave the prison.

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**Please review! And thanks to all of your responses, I'll definately be using them. So? Was Rose's reaction better, worse? It's not over yet, don't worry. She still has plenty to react to! Dun Dun Dun! And by the way, this chapter has 2012 words in it. So when you finish it, the world will end. **


	28. Escape

I slam my fist repeatedly into the worn and weathered punching bag, muttering a colourful array of curse words. The bag swings on it's chain, and comes backwards, aiding the force of my next punch.

Rose was in pain, and didn't want to live anymore. She still wanted to see me, I could _feel _it. A small, or a rather large, part of my brain screaming at me to go to her. To find her, wrap my arms around her, and never let go. But she had admitted to the guilt that made her pull away, and I had to get her passed the self-hatred, or else I was afraid she would seriously harm herself. Or worse. I thought of Vasilisa, blood smeared on her face and running from her wrists, and shudder, packing more ferocity into my next hit.

I had to help Rose. But how? I was by no means a psyciotrist. I could barely make sense of my own emotions, let alone someone else's.

_"Dimitri?" I spun, still panting with adrenaline. "What are you _doing _in here?"_

_The punching bag swung back and I moved to avoid it, rubbing the back of my moist neck. "I could ask you the same thing," I reply, trying to use my mentor authority to change the subject. But Rose crosses her arms over her chest, raising her eyebrows. Somehow, this is less intimidating when all she is wearing is a white tank top and a pair of black fleece pajama bottoms. _

_"_I _am trying to figure out if you always come here at three in the morning. I decided to show up early to practice, just like you told me I should. I just didn't expect you to be here this early."_

_I run my hands over my hair, the loose strands falling back over my wet forehead. "And when I told you to be early, I didn't mean _this _early. And that's _not _why you're here."_

_She sighed, running her hands through her long, dark, tangled hair. "If you really want to know, I'm having nightmares. Spokane. It's like it's happening all over again, execpt this time, it's you. And you're trying to protect me. And he grabs your head..." Tears build in her eyes and she pushes them back down. _

_"Roza," I murmur, and step forward. But she steps back, a tight smile and a shake of her head her only excuse. _

_"I'm fine. What are _you _doing here?" she asks. Millions of sarcastic lines run through my mind, but instead I tell her the truth, the words slipping out before I can stop them. _

_"Nightmare. Spokane, except I don't make it in time. In my dream," She blinks in surprise. _

_I turn away, leaning down to grab my worn and fraying duffel bag. "I should probably be going-"_

_I stop when I her hands slid from my waist, up my chest, and finally onto my shoulders. Her arms encircle mine, and she rests her head on my shoulder. I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling only her arms around me and her warmth. _

With a groan, I stop the swinging punching bag, resting my hand against it. Every moment, every second, seems to be measured in Rose's absense.

Suddenly, a warm hand appears at my shoulder. My heart leaps, and I spin to meet...

Tasha.

I push away my disappointment before it reach my face. "Is something wrong?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "I could ask you the same thing."

I cast my gaze downwards. "She said she doesn't have anything to live for. Oh God, Tasha, what if she tries to hurt herself?"

Tasha wraps her arms around my waist, her thumbs rubbing along my spine. "She'll come around, Dimitri. She's not the same person that she was. She just needs some time."

"What if she's changed too much? What if she doesn't want to be with me anymore?" The words are foreign to me, and they pour out of my mouth before I can stop them.

Tasha sighs and pulls back ever so slightly. "Then it's her loss," she murmurs, and brushes her lips against mine.

I stiffen, but slowly begin to relax, melting into the kiss. I trail my arms down to her hips, and she wraps my arms around her neck, pulling me closer. But something feels...wrong.

Her waist is about the same as Rose's, but her hips lack the flair that Rose's do. I can't rest my hands on them, my fingers don't curl around her hip bone the same way. The height is also wrong. With Rose, my arms fit around her waist easily, the perfect height. But with Tasha...

Disgust heaves in my body, and I jerk away. _Tasha. _I was comparing Tasha with Rose, I was trying to get Rose back. I wanted Rose. I just wanted Roza.

"Tasha," I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut. "I can't. I'm sorry, I just...can't."

Silence. Complete silence.

I slowly, so slowly, open my eyes to meet hers. Her expression is blank, emotionless. "Oh Dimka," she murmurs, shaking her head.

"I love her, Tasha, she's...everything to me. I can't move on, not without her."

She sighs, gently reaching up to caressmy jaw. "I know, Dimka, and I know you don't want to hear this, but she's a different person. She's changed. And I'm not trying to manipulate you, and I'm not trying to hurt you, but I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to keep you from getting hurt."

I turn my face into her hand, revelling in the warmth, before pulling away entirely. "I know. I know she's different. I'm different, too. But I still love her." I rub my jaw in frustration. With a shake of my head, I step away from Tasha, starting to make my way from the practice room.

"Dimka! Dimitri, wait!"

I turn back, Tasha at my heels, her face pleading. "I know," I say firmly. "That she's changed. I know that she changed. But she changed back. And that's all that matters to me."

...

I rush from the training room, my heart and head pounding. _When did things get so complicated?_

I had met Rose, I had agreed to mentor her, I had fallen in love, I had confessed to her, Tasha had made her offer, I had almost lost her in Spokane... So many events had seemed to add stress to my life, especially mentoring Rose, but in the end, we had, or had thought, that we had figured out a solution. We could be together. A few sacrifices and tough decisions had to be made, but we could work it out. We could break boundries.

For that moment, I had been truely happy, completely fufilled, finally finding a balance between work and love. And I had been paying for it ever since.

"Guardian Belikov! Hey, Dimitri!"

I spin quickly to see the small figure of the princess bounce towards me. "Guess what?" she sings.

I raise a brow, really not in the mood for guessing games. Vasilisa seems to sense this, but it obviously doesn't dampen her good mood. "Rose is out. They let her out of jail!"

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**A little shorter than the usual... But I the next one will be better, promise! Please review!**


	29. Protection And Rejection

**Okay, I know I didn't give you guys a preview, but I figured if I was updating the next day, it wasn't really neccessary! Enjoy the chapter!**

**I don't own VA**

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The pain of a one-way bond was that Vasilisa was unable to tell me where Rose was. She was starting to be able to feel her emotions, but she couldn't slip into Rose's head as Rose could slip into hers.

The Princess also hadn't seen Rose in over three hours. This combination left me running around the Court, trying to find her.

But the Court was a big place. I hadn't even began to cover half of it. And if Rose was moving around, then this could be a very long search. The cafe, the interrogation room, and even the Church were empty, and I was quickly running out of places to look.

_It's easy, _Rose had said, when I had asked her about her bond with the Princess. _It's like opening up your mind to her, pushing aside your own thoughts, and just letting her in._

I freeze outside of the church, letting the warmth of the rising sun heat my skin, warding off any cold. _Open your mind to her. _Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to imagine my thoughts evaporating from my mind, of my body disappearing and becoming part of Rose.

Hopelessness.

Emotions pour into my head, one by one, spreading from a small space in my brain to my whole body. Fear, shame, guilt, loneliness, self-hatred.

I can feel my heart ache in an internal compass, and I follow my feet, which have suddenly began to move at an alarming speed. As I turn down pathways and run past buildings, it occurs to me where I am going.

There is a small crowd against the wall of the dhampir dorms, everyone is facing away from me, their attention focused inwards. Despite the height of the rising sun in the sky, Moroi and Dhampirs alike are there, at least ten of them, not including Guardians that line the walls.

I easily slip through the crowd, pushing past the people in my way. A silver-haired man, whom I recognize as Nathan Ivashkov, stands with a hard, disapproving expression before...

Rose.

Her eyes are clenched close, her head tilted downwards, as if she's attempting to shut him out.

"-a danger to the Moroi! She should be sent away immediately!" he cries, motioning extensively to the moroi who surround him.

Rose's bottom lip quivers, and she squeezes her eyes even tighter, trying not to cry.

"You've killed our kind!" He turns to his fellow Moroi, seeming to ignore the Dhampirs. "What makes anyone think she'll hesitate to do it again?" Rose bites her lip, and a tear leaks from the corner of her eye.

That's it. Anger boils through me, a white hot rage.

"What about who she was before?" I call out, my voice booming against the brick wall. Rose's eyes fly open, and she meets my gaze. She expression is unreadable, but I can sense relief. And fear.

Nathan looks up, surprised, but then he smirks. "I think it's obvious," he sneers, turning back to the crowd for support. "That's she's changed."

"And_ I _think it's obvious," I snap back. "That she's changed back. Look at her! What strigoi have you ever seen that can sit while the sun is rising? What strigoi have you seen that can enter the wards of the Court? What strigoi have you seen that doesn't have pale skin, or red eyes, or fangs?"

Nathan gapes, but the fast-thinking royal blood within him keeps him fighting back. The arrogance just fuels his mindless arguement. "What? You've suddenly become an expert on this situation now? How do we know that she's not still an ally to the strigoi?"

I scoff and cross my arms, instinctively walking over to stand between Rose and her threat. "No, I'm not an expert on this situation. But am I truely the only one here that thinks of this as a miracle?" I glance around at the stoic faces of the Guardians, and the Moroi, expressions ranging from hard to soft to undecided. "Why are we treating this girl as a monster? Why are we acting like this is something that should be ignored? We've changed history! And we're too caught up in ensuring that an innocent girl, who's sitting in the _sun, _trying to get some peace, isn't a strigoi!"

The crowd falls silent, clearly taking my words in. Nathan seems to be at a loss for words. And then he says something truely stupid.

"Well, how do _you _know what she was like before she changed? Maybe she was like the Ozeras."

I clench my jaw, staring at him in disbelief. _The Ozeras, _Christian's parents. He was suggesting that Rose wanted, still wants, to be strigoi, to have eternal life. "How do I know? I was her _teacher. _Her mentor. I spent hundreds hours training with her. Don't you think that I might have a clue of what kind of a person she was, she still is?"

His eyes narrow, and by the look on his face, I can tell he thinks that he has won.

"I've heard of you, _Belikov. _You want these people to believe what you say, even _after _you abandoned your Guardian duties and your charge to go on some ridiculous _mission_?"

I can feel the mood change from the crowd, from agreement to disgust. I sigh.

"Yes, I disappeared for several weeks. But I did it... for Rose," I admit, watching as Nathan's smirk falls at my statement. "I couldn't let her be that monster. I couldn't let her stay like that. She was such a strong person. She still is. So dedicated, so caring, and I couldn't bear to think of her living like that. So I left to find her. To kill her. To free her."

Pain settles in my stomach, and I try to refrain from showing this emotion. For once, Nathan doesn't seem like he is about to come up with anything any time soon. I run a hand through my hair, unsure of what to say now that I had made my point.

Luckily, one of the guardians that seems to be watching Rose steps up. "I think it's time to return to your rooms," he says, as if he is instructing students at the academy. But the crowd disperses, and Nathan gives me one last glare before departing.

With a nod of appreciation towards the guardian, I turn back to Rose. She is sitting on a wooden bench that is pressed against the brick wall. Tears fill her eyes, and she is shaking.

"Roza," I whisper, and gingerly sit down beside her. Although I expect her to pull away, stand up, distance herself, she just stares forward, her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

"Why are you here?" she murmurs, still staring straight ahead, the sunlight shimmering on the moisture that coats her cheeks.

"I heard that they let you out," I confess, trying to catch her gaze.

She sighs and leans back against the bench, now watching her hands clasped in her lap. "I'm on probabtion," she explains wearily. "They should have just killed-"

"Don't talk like that!" I scold firmly. "Rose, don't ever say that! You're getting a second chance. You've been given a miracle, something that many people in this world would give anything for, and you're just going to throw it away?"

She finally turns to me, her eyes filling with anger and annoyance. "Stop it, okay? I don't need your Zen Life Lessons right now! I don't _want _this miracle! I just want people to leave me alone, not stare at me like I belong in a freakshow! I want to talk to Lissa without Guardians hovering over me to make sure I don't rip her throat out!I want to be with you without remembering when I drank from you like you were some sort of a feeder!"

I am taken aback, but push forward. I was never one for boundries when it came to Rose. "Rose, this is something entirely new, people don't know how to handle it, yet. They are just so amazed that you were changed back. Once they realize-"

"And what if they _don't realize? _What if I'm treated like a monster for the rest of my life? People avoid Christian, and he wasn't even a strigoi! You can't be seen with me, don't you get it? You're the _Russian God, _the badass Dimitri Belikov, and people are going to hate you if you're associated with me! I don't want that! I never _asked _for this! I don't want this! I don't want this life if this is what I'm going to go through!"

"Stop saying that!" I argue back. "Stop saying things like that! You don't want this life anymore? You've been given a second chance! _We've_ been given a second chance!"

"There is no _we_, okay?_ We _can't be together!"

Her words dug into my chest, stinging and throbbing. "Why?" I ask childishly. "Why, Rose? Because you... feel guilty? I _love _you, Rose. You think I'm worried about my reputation? I escaped the academy to find you! They put me on border patrol. I probably will never be able to guard a Moroi. And honestly, why would they want me? I will always put you first, Roza. Always."

Rose turns, her eyes not meeting mine. "It's not just that. I've changed. I can't love anymore, Dimitri. I'm incapable... I just can't. I can't be with you. I don't love you anymore."

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**Please Review!**


	30. Bullshit

_"I don't love you anymore."_

I freeze, my breath catching in my throat. My stomach clenches at her words.

"Bullshit," I whisper, feeling anger rise up within me. I didn't give up on her then, and I surely wouldn't give up on her now that we'd come this far.

Rose's head snaps to face me, her eyes disbelieving. "_What?" _

"I _said,_" I say more loudly, more firmly. "_Bullshit. _You know that's a lie, Rose. Do you really think that I am so unsure of our relationship to fall for that? I'm not looking for a way out, Rose. I'm don't want anyone but you. I'm not going to give in just because of one sentence that contradicts everything else that you've said to me. I don't love anyone but you, Rose. Did you really think that I was that insecure?" My response shocks even me. What was it with this girl that makes me so...quick-tempered?

"What _relationship, _Dimitri? Holding hands when no one could see us? Kissing in the gym, then having you shoot me down every single time? Doesn't sound like much of a relationship to me!"

I sigh. She really does know how to wear me thin. "What about the cabin, Rose? That was special to me, and I know that wasn't something you did with just anyone. Did it really mean nothing to you?" I whisper, watching her eyes widen in shock, and I feel a rather large twinge of guilt pierce through me. Her purity was not something to throw back in her face, but desperate times call for desperate meausres, and I was using every resource I had. Her face flushes with colour, and she looks away. "Rose, I didn't mean-"

"Stop," she pleads. "Please, stop." The tears that are running down her face seem to multiply.

Guilt throbs within me, but I supress it. "Yes, Rose. Stop. Let me in, let me help you. You're not the only one who is in pain. You're not the only one who lost something when you changed."

We lapse into silence. "I thought you were dating Tasha," she finally says, her emotionless mask slipping into place. I mentally groan. Of course she would know. The bond.

Vasilisa had been upset with me, thinking that I was moving on too quickly, or moving on at all. "I'm not _dating_ her. I've just been spending a lot more time with her. She's helping me through this. She's my friend. I've already told you, my heart belongs somewhere else."

The look Rose gives me tells me she doesn't believe me. "Really? Is she the one who gave you that bite?" she snaps.

My hand immediately goes to my neck. My hair has been pushed back, and, although faded and healing, the bite mark on my neck is still clearly visible. "No," I murmur, my embarrassment sinking in my stomach. "You did."

Her eyes widen in horror, and she looks down into her lap. "Oh," is all she says. I sigh. She was finally, finally talking to me, and now we had taken a step back. As a strigoi, Rose had bitten me, and that had been only...a week ago? Not even? It felt like an eternity.

"Roza, it's okay."

She sighs and wipes her tears away with the sleeve of her sweater. "I can't do this, I'm sorry, Dimitri." She rises from the bench, starting to walk away, out of my life.

"No!" I spring up. Usually, I am the one who is calm, distant. But our roles have reversed, and now I am the one who is trying to bring her from her solitary. I am even more pushy, begging for her attention. "You can't just walk out of my life! Do you know what it's like when the person you love more than anyone pushes you away? I thought I was going to have to live without you! You can't just..." I fade off, knowing she is more than capable.

She turns, squeezing her eyes shut. "_Please, _Rose. Promise me," I say softly. "Please promise that you'll try. You'll at least try to let me in, Roza, that you won't cut me out of your life."

She sighs and opens her eyes, looking at me wearily, like this struggle was not just limited to our conversation, that it had been going on for a while. "I can't."

"Yes you can," I plead.

She looks up at me, a look of sadness and regret crossing her face. She crosses her arms over her chest. "I... I'll try."

Although I am surprised that she has given in, I push it aside. Relief floods through me. "Thank you," I whisper, and scramble forward, sliding my hands to cup her jaw, letting my lips touch her forehead. "Thank you. You won't regret this. I promise."

She pulls away, ever so slightly, staring curiously at me. "I've never seen you like this before. You're so... frantic."

I laugh in relief. "Yes, well I've never lost you before. I always just took you for granted, assuming you would still be there when we could actually be together. Or could let people know, I suppose."

"Dimitri, we can't-"

"I know, I know," I interrupt. But my good mood cannot be ruined. "We'll make this work. You don't have to be alone. I'll always be here, whenever you need me."

It takes both of us several moments to realize that I am still cupping her face, standing intimately close to her. She pulls away entirely, avoiding my eyes. "Thanks," she mumbles, then sits back down on the wooden bench against the wall of the dhampir dorms. She stares ahead, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Dimitri, I need your help."

I blink in surprise. "Okay..." I say, slowly lowering myself to sit beside her.

Her gaze snaps upwards to meet mine, and she raises her eyebrows. "Unless you didn't mean it-"

"Of course I meant it. Anything. I'll help you with anything," I counter. She nods.

"I need to see the Queen."

"You-" I pause. I was expecting anything but this. _The Queen? _"You want to see the Queen?" I ask.

She looks up at me. "Yeah. They won't let me see her. Because, well, you know..."

I nod. _The fact that you're a 'threat.' _"Why do you need to see the Queen?"

She seems to sink into herself, taking on a defensive position. "I just...do."

"Roza," I sigh. "Is this about the sophomores law?" I had been so preoccupied with everything else that's been going on, I hadn't even really thought about it.

"What sophomore law?"

I freeze. "Nevermind. It's not-"

"_What _sophomore law, Dimitri?" she says more forcefully.

I mentally groan. Oh God, here it goes. "The Council passed a law," I confess. "Sophomore year is now the graduating age for dhampirs."

"_What?" _she cries. "That's _suicide! _What the hell is wrong with them?"

"Rose, Roza, calm down. You don't want people to see you as a threat. I know you're mad, but you have to calm down."

She plops back down onto the bench, but doesn't look happy about it. "Didn't you _do _anything?" she demands.

I repress a sigh. "What could I do, Rose?"

She grunts. "Do I have to do _everything _around here? God, I turn strigoi for a few months and the place starts falling apart. This is stupid."

"Rose," I warn with a authoratative tone, trying not to smile as the Rose that I knew, feared, and loved more than anything, returns. "Do you want everyone to see you as someone with a hot temper?"

She sighs, again, and crosses her arms over her chest, falling silent. Shocked, I stay quiet. Rose has never, _never _been that easy to contain. She should be yelling at me, struggling as I try to pull her back, tackling me and punching me until I am unable to fight her.

She really has changed.

"Now," I say slowly, finally coming out of my shock. "Why do you need to see the Queen?"

"Just trust me."

I groan. "Roza..."

"Please, Dimitri?"

Another change. Rosemarie Hathaway doesn't plead. I would also receive some sort of punishment if she knew that I had referred to her as Rosemarie, mental or not.

"What makes you think that I can get you to see the Queen?" I ask defensively. "I'm an outcast, Rose, you heard Nathan."

"But you're kind of the reason that the Council knew about Spokane, weren't you? I think you have some credibility."

_Crap. _I shoot her an apologetic look. "You know that I was interviewed?" I say sheepishly.

She looks back at me, a small smile turning up the corners of her lips. "Yeah. The-"

"Bond," I finish. "I know."

"I just didn't know why. I don't know how I missed the whole law thing, though..."

I give her a small smile. "I think you have some right to distraction."

"So are you going to help me or not?" she asks. Although I feel as though she's using me, I want to help her, I told her I would. She's finally letting me in...sort of.

"Yes, Roza, I'll help you. I can't guarantee anything, though."

She nods, but then gives me a small, sad smile. "Thank you, Dimitri."

She pushes herself off of the bench, allowing me one last look before departing towards the guest housing, where she can be isolated. The guardians along the wall follow, and I am left to watch after her.

"Goodbye, Roza," I whisper after her, although my words cannot reach her.

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**Whoa people, calm down! JK! ) As I told you, this is _not _going to be Spirit Bound, reverse role. I _am _making it more original. Really, you should have more faith in me. :D**

**Don't worry, it will stray from the Spirit Bound plotline! I just need to establish some bases, here! **

**Dimitri's not taking any crap from his student. ;)**


	31. Meeting With The Queen

**Thanks for reading! And a special thanks to Twilighternpround, who never fails to entertain me with interesting reviews and comments ;) they never go unappreciated.**

**I AM SO SORRY I NEVER GAVE A PREVIEW! I've been away for a week, and didn't have any access to the internet! I will still be doing previews, though! I'll make it up to you! If you guys have any ideas on how I can do that, leave it in a review, or message me :)  
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I wake up early, earlier, and quickly dress, heading out the door before the sun fully sets.

I have no idea how I am going to fufill my promise to Rose. I was looked down upon by Dhampirs and Moroi alike. A good Guardian did not abandon his duties. Especially not for other Dhampirs.

But I had promised Rose that I would try to get her a meeting with the Queen, and if this deed would get me closer to her, then so be it.

Besides, the Queen usually booked private meetings. This would be my only hope, or the only thing I could think of.

The solemn Guardians stood at the door of the Council building. They were like an electric fence. Stand back, admire the security. Try to walk past, and get taken down by a powerful force. I nodded in respect to the Guardians, then slipped inside.

The traditional, extravagant stonework of the floors and walls were illuminated by great, brass chandeliers. The place looks like an over-decorated stone dungeon. Being used to the simple Guardian lifestyle, the luxerious atmosphere seems excessive and overdone.

A slim Moroi woman sit typing in the centre of the floor. She is overpowered by the great oak desk in front of her. I step forward, giving the young woman a slight nod.

"I was wondering if I could... book time with the Council?" As the words slip from my mouth, I realize how ridiculous they truely are. The meetings were always used by royal Moroi, for politics. The woman raises her wiry eyebrows.

"You?" she asks in disbelief.

"No, for Rosemarie Hathaway."

The girl seems to barely refrain from keeping her jaw from dropping. Everyone, by now, has heard of the girl-who-turned-back. Gossip spread faster here than at the academy. In that moment, I know I've lost.

But, polite as she was, she 'checks' her schedule, hymming and hawing, telling me she's sorry to disappoint me, but there's just no room. But don't worry, she assures, we'll call if anything opens up.

I leave, discouraged. Who else did I know that had enough status to pull this off?

Vasilisa? A girl not even out of her teen years, a runaway? Best friends with a former strigoi?

Tasha? From a family looked down upon by all of the other Royals?

Christian? Whose situation mirrored his aunts?

Nothing.

It was all hopeless.

So I set off to find Rose, and hope she will forgive me.

...

Rose, it turned out, was sitting in a small cafe in the Court, by herself in the corner of the room. When I enter, she looks up at the ringing of the bells in the doorway, her expression immediately turning hopeful. I sigh, and make my way over to her, pulling over a chair.

"Hi," I say softly. She nods in return, then leans forward in anticipation.

"So?" she asks.

"Rose, I couldn't-"

I am cut off by the small, angelic chime of bells, as Adrian Ivashkov enters the cafe. His eyes travel over the room, before landing on Rose. He saunters over, an excited gleam in his eyes.

"She said yes," he simply says, and Rose rises quickly from her chair.

"Really? You did it!" she says excitedly, and throws her arms around him. I feel a pang of jealousy, as primitive and immature as it is. In a perfect world, Rose and I would have been together. I could have easily smiled at this display of friendship, glad to see her so happy. But now, with Rose so close to slipping out of my grasp, of my life, I couldn't help but feel I could easily lose her. Even to Ivashkov.

He smiles broadly. "She said she'd meet with you. She'd like you to answer some questions, anyways."

Rose smiles back at him. "Good. I'm going to be making a few comments, as well." Adrian laughs, and I feel as though I've faded, I'm invisible. Although I have trained for years to become invisible, I have never felt this way around Rose.

They exchange several sentences of information before Adrian gives Rose another heartbreaking hug and departs. She watches him leave, then turns back to me, seeming to realize I'm still there.

"Oh!" she says in surprise. _You haven't left yet? _I can practically hear.

"Um, so, what were you going to say?" she asks. I shake my head.

"Nevermind," I mumble.

She gives me a sheepish look. "I'm sorry." I wave her off, but I can sense...something like guilt from her.

"So when do you meet with the Queen?" I ask, trying to move on.

She gives me a _who do you think you're kidding, Belikov? _look, but answers my questions anyways. "Tomorrow."

I nod, really not knowing what else to say.

"Dimitri, Adrian is just-" she starts, but I cut her off.

"No, it's fine. I know you can let him into your life. I understand Rose," I explain, although I don't understand. Not at all.

But my words seem to bring her comfort. She stares down at her paper cup, silence falling between us.

Frustration was beginning to take over. I was always in control, and that was the way I liked things. Simple, direct. But now, I only seemed to be a card in someone else's hand. And I was playing everything I had, trying to move forward.

"Dimitri?" My eyes shot upwards, meeting her gaze. "Will you come with me?" she asks.

"Come where?" I reply stupidly.

"To the meeting. I think you should be there. I_ want _you to be there."

I can't help but smile. "Yes, Rose, of course I'll come."

She smiles back, her hands gently creeping over mine, which is resting on the table between us. "Thanks."

Finally the chiming of bells make us both look up, and Rose removes her hand from mine. I frown, but turn around to face the doorway.

Tasha.

She scans the room, detects us, then quickly makes her way over.

"Thank God, Rose. How are you doing? Are you alright?" she asks, her voice gentle as she slowly sits beside Rose.

I can sense Rose's reluctance, but Tasha has always been kind and nurturing, and her soothing tone starts to catch on. Rose relaxes, giving her the same, small, sad smile that she has given since her change.

"Better, thanks."

Tasha puts an arm over Rose's shoulders, comforting her. "We were all worried about you, honey. Glad to see you're doing better." She then turns to me.

"I haven't seen you in days! How have you been? Are you alright?" She asks. Rose's expression slips back to neutral and I sigh.

"Yes, I'm fine. I've just been a little preoccupied." Tasha nods, still eyeing me with the same concerned expression. Just then, Rose says something completely out of character.

"Speaking of, I'm meeting with the Queen tomorrow. Tasha, will you come?"

...

I sit anxiously in the gallery, awaiting the start of the meeting. Tasha sits beside me, and obviously notices my restlessness, because she grabs my hand.

Rose sits in a small, wooden chair, Guardians posted at her sides. The Queen enters, and the gallery rises.

"Rosemarie Hathaway," she announces, more to us then to Rose herself. Rose bows before her.

"Your Majesty," she says confidently. "Due to my... former _situation, _I have some access to information regarding the safety of the Court that I think you might be interested in."


	32. A Dinner With Adrian

**Who would have thought I'd never make it to 32 chapters! Again, I'm so sorry! You guys have been so very patient! I'll make it up to you! Just tell me how...**

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_"Your Majesty," she says confidently. "Due to my... former situation, I have some access to information regarding the safety of the Court that I think you might be interested in."_

The Queen raises her eyebrows, her calm exterior never slipping.

"Oh?" she says, although I can see Rose has peaked her interest. "And what would that be, Miss Hathaway?"

Rose takes in a deep breath, and I can feel fear and self-consiousness radiate off of her. But, to my pleasure, I can feel the urge, the need inside of her to protect the Moroi, protect those she loves, and finally, protect me. But I refuse to let my heart rejoice.

Rose leans forward. "The Spokane strigoi are planning to attack the Court. Hundreds of them. They have humans to break the wards."

A gasp arises from the gallery, and then chaos. Some scream at the Queen, begging her to do something. Many scream at Rose, calling her a liar, a traitor, a monster. But Rose never loses her emotionless face, her gaze locked with the Queen, neither one of them looking away.

"Silence!" the Queen calls, and the disorganized calls cease.

"Now, Miss Hathaway," Queen Tatiana says calmly. "Tell us what you know."

Rose takes a deep breath and recites her entire heart-breaking tale.

"I was bitten by a strigoi, Nathan, in the caves. All I can really remember is getting dizzier and dizzier. I woke up in a house, kind of like the one I was held at in Spokane. I was tied to a chair in a basement, all the walls were white. There were dark spots on the carpet, like blood. They didn't even talk to me or feed me or anything for three days, and then Nathan came down, and told me that they had heard about me, that I had killed Isaiah, the leader of the 'operation.'

"And he said that I was going to have to fill in, since it was my fault that they had lost their leader."

She squeezes her eyes shut. "And he bit me. It was like my whole body was on fire." A tear slides down her cheek, and I can feel a stinging pain in the back of my mind as Rose relives the event.

My heart aches and throbs, and I refrain from getting up and wrapping my arms around her.

"And it got so bad, I passed out. But when I woke up, I...was strigoi. They told me about the plans for the Court, and what they were going to do. I was supposed to help.

"But then, I heard about Di- Guardian Belikov and Princess Vasilisa trying to find me, so I left Spokane. And that-" she finished with a sigh. "Is when all of this happened. The second battle at the academy. Me changing back. Everything. And here I am, trying to prove to you that I'm not Team Strigoi anymore."

The gallery, and the Queen, fall silent. Since Rose has already told her story, there is no need for questions, for inquiries. The Queen finally gives a small nod, then motions for one of her advisors.

"I want the entire Court in lockdown," she says, then turns back to Rose. "Rosemarie, we're going to need you to tell us everything."

When the gallery is dismissed, I try to approach Rose, but she is taken away, following the Queen into a private meeting room.

"Rose!" I call. She turns to look at me, giving me an apologetic look before being swept into the next room. In the back of my mind, through whatever connection we had, I can feel a pang of disappointment. I wonder if she wished to see me as well.

"Dimka?" I turn to face a concerned Tasha. "You'll be able to see her, don't worry. She'll be fine."

I nod, feeling slightly relieved, but still worried. But she grabs my hand and pulls me from the room. "How long has it been since you've eaten?" she asks.

I freeze, not having an answer to her question, and she sighs. "I thought so. Come on." I can't help but smile.

"Yes, _Mother,_" I tease. Tasha laughs and shakes her head, leading me away.

...

Three days. It's been three days since I've seen Rose. Despite Tasha's enthusiastic distractions, dragging me around Court, my mind was still not at ease. I needed to at least _see _her, but although I lacked much information, I was able to collect bits of information, mostly from the Princess and overheard conversations.

I had learned that Guardians from all over the globe were being flown in to help protect the Court. Many Moroi were escaping Court, while many, including Council members, were staying to try and prepare for the attack. Rose was unsure of when the actual attack was happening, and she wasn't sure if they had altered their plans after she had abandoned them, so they needed to be ready, and become ready quickly.

"Dimitri, she'll have lots of time for you once she's done saving our races," Tasha jokes, and I smile along, although a selfish part of me wants to see Rose _now. _

When I wasn't training or picking up extra shifts, I was at the gym. I had told Rose once that I had found peace with her, but now that I couldn't see her, I was starting to become agitated and restless.

But as I repeatedly shoot my fist at the punching bag, I realize that this was not the stress relief I need. What I need is to see Rose. I lean backwards and kick the bag with such force, it swings dangerously on it's hook.

Panting, I drop backwards, my back hitting the mat beneath me and jarring my body. _God, what am I going to do?_

As troublesome as she was, she had her ways of comforting me, reassuring me. Even in Spokane, she had been able to send us a message, via Adrian, telling us her condition. But now, I was completely lost, with a possiblility of never being with her again, and it was starting to take a toll on me.

Normally, if Rose needed time to think, like back at the academy, to think about us, I could have stepped back, let her make the decision. But now, I was desperately trying to hold on to her. So that raised the question, _What the hell am I doing?_

Rose was still keeping herself at a distance. Before, this would have just bothered me, and convinced me I had done something wrong, but now, I was fighting back, not allowing herself to slip through my fingers.

But what possessed me? What made me so..._desperate? _

_The bond, _a voice inside me whispers. _You have to protect her, the same way she protects Vasilisa._

"Belikov?" My eyes snap open to meet a curious Guardian, who is staring over me as I lie on the floor of the gym. Feeling childish and embarrassed, I rise, brushing myself off.

"Yes?" I ask, masking my embarrassment. The Guardian clears his throat. "You're wanted," he says. "The Queen has called upon you."

...

I had only been summoned once before, and it had led to the law about sophomore graduation. Safe to say I was a little hesitant.

Despite the ancient feel of the rest of the building, the meeting room was brightly lit, illuminating the figures by the wooden table with a incandescent glow.

I bowed respectfully to the Queen, letting my eyes flick towards Rose, who was seated at the other end of the long, polished table.

"Guardian Belikov, you have been summoned by Her Majesty Queen Tatiana." I nod, trying to keep my gaze off of Rose.

The Queen herself sits in a large, intricately carved chair, staring at me with a harsh expression on her face.

"Guardian Belikov, I assume you know why you're here."

I freeze. _Should I? _"No, Your Majesty," I reply.

She sighs, in a _dhampirs-are-so-naive_ way. "This meeting is to discuss the attack on the Court. From the information Rosemarie has given us, we can assume that we are running out of time."

I nod again, not knowing what else to say. "Rosemarie has also told us that, despite your questionable past, you can be of great benefit to the protection of this Court. We're giving you one more chance, Belikov."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," I whisper, relieved. Tatiana motions to the opposite end of the table, and I take the cue and sit beside Rose. At the other end, sits Tatiana and her Council, quietlly discussing something that obviously doesn't involve us.

I lean towards Rose. "You were the one who told them to summon me?" I ask quietly.

She shrugs. "I didn't tell them to. I just... _mentioned _that you would be a big help."

I supress my happiness. Despite what happened between us, despite the fact that I had been unable to protect her, she still hadn't lost her faith in me.

"And they just listened to you?" I ask.

"They're kind of putting all of their faith in me. They don't really have another option. I guess we're both on probation."

"Belikov." My head snaps up to meet the Council's gaze.

"Yes, Your Majesty?"

"I'm putting you under our head Guardian's command. I expect you to be here tomorrow morning, 5 o'clock sharp."

I nod. _This is it? _I think. _This is all of the instruction I get? _"Yes, Your Majesty."

She dismisses us, turning back to the Council. Rose and I depart, my head swimming with confusion.

"What," I ask Rose quietly, "Is going on?"

I don't expect a clear answer, but Rose turns to me. "Last I heard, they were getting in contact with other groups of strigoi, some of them were from Russia and Italy. They've got humans to break the wards. I left once I heard you guys were after me, so I don't know about anything recent..."

I nod. "So why have they asked me to attend the meetings? Are all of the Guardians going?"

Rose shakes her head. "No, they're just going to be given orders. You're here to give input and help plan."

"I guess I should thank you, then, for getting me another chance." _Another chance to earn my respect. Another chance to be a great Guardian. _

Rose gives me a small smile. "Least I could do. You gave me another chance."

Feeling incredibly light, I embrace the courage to ask, "It's only 8:00. Do you want to go out and get something to eat?"

"I'm actually meeting Adrian at the cafe," she replies hesitantly, and my heart sinks.

"Oh," is all that I say. _Adrian. _

"Do... Do you want to come?"

My eyes widen. "No, it's okay, I don't want to intrude..."

She smiles again, but it's not a _Rose Hathaway, _sarcastic smile. "It's really okay. He invited Liss and Christen, too."

Trying to wait an appropiate amount of time before jumping on the opportunity, I slowly nod. "If you're sure it's alright..."

She smiles and shakes my head, and we begin to make our way across the Court.

She is wearing a long sleeved shirt, so she pulls at her sleeves so they cover her fists, and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Are you cold?" I ask, and although she shakes her head, I know she's lying.

I sigh loudly and slip out of my jacket, draping it over her shoulders. She grabs the edges and draws it closer to her body, mumbling a thank you.

We lapse into silence, neither awkward nor comfortable. I'm at a loss for words, unable to think of something interesting, yet light.

"Adrian stopped smoking," she told me, obviously just as desperate for conversation as I am.

I nod. "Do you spend a lot of time with Adrian?" I ask, trying to sound like my intentions were innocent.

She shrugs. "I've been spending a lot of time with the Queen, and he's usually there..."

"And you accept him into your life?" I blurt, then immediately curse myself for my words. She groans.

"God, I knew this was coming."

"Knew what was coming?"

She grabs my arm to stop me. I feel the familiar feeling of connection pulsing through me. "Dimitri, Adrian is my _friend, _okay? That's it. Just like Tasha's helping you out, Adrian's helping me."

"But I'm here, Rose," I say. "I'm right here! Tasha was there when I lost you! You're choosing to distance yourself."

She sighs loudly. "Look, Dimitri. It's different, okay? Adrian... I can let Adrian into my life."

"But why?" I push on. "Why can you let Adrian in? Did I do something wrong? Did I do something to make you lose your trust in me?"

She looks up at me, the familiar tear-filled gaze tugging down on my concience.

"No," she whispers. "No, of course not."

"Then what?" I plead. "What have I done? Why can't you let me in, Roza?"

She stays silent, but wipes at her eyes with the too-long sleeves of her shirt, and shakes her head.

"Rose, I told you that I would never leave you alone. But now your pushing me away. If I did something-"

"Stop!" she cries! "Okay? I've already ruined your life! You come after me, because your..._you..._and now everyone is, like, disgusted that you 'abandoned your duties.' You heard Nathan. And now the Queen is giving you another chance! And you're trying to act like we can be together! But we can't Dimitri! We can't. I can't ruin your life again."

I was stunned. _Ruin my life? _I was confused and lost after Ivan was murdered. I couldn't balance my personal life and my job. I had told myself that if I hadn't been having a friendly dinner with Tasha, his life could have been spared.

Although I did not blame Tasha, I still held a thin prick of resentment, and it was only one of the reasons that I was unable to develop feelings for her. But I had been drawn to Rose, and she had, once again, allowed me to aim for a balance between the two. When she left, I was torn apart, trapped between my duties to Vasilisa and my love of Rose. Bound by promises, I was unable to choose.

But now, having her back, I knew that it _was _possible for a balance. And my reputation wasn't even an issue. Rose would truimph, every time.

"I can't ruin your life," she murmur again. "I'm sorry."

"Rose," I whisper. "You didn't ruin my life. You made it so much better. I hadn't had a relationship... well, I've never had a relationship. A real one, at least. You think you ruined my life? You gave me something I never thought I would have."

I had never been one for sentimental moments, but the words spilled from my heart.

I couldn't help but think that if I had spent my time back in the academy accepting Rose, instead of pushing her away, she would let me into her life.

But she shakes her head again. "Dimitri, I'm sorry. I really, _really _cannot do this. Not tonight. Please can we just... Can we just forget about this for tonight?"

I sigh and run my fingers over my hair. "For tonight," I finally agree.

She smiles gratefully and nods, and we continue walking towards the cafe.

I can hear the stealthy footsteps of Guardians behind us, unsure if they have heard our conversation, and honestly, not caring.

"So... how have you been?" she asks.

I can't help but laugh. "How have I been? That's all you came up with?"

She smiles. "Yeah, well, social rejection doesn't really help your conversation skills."

"Welcome to my world," I tease. Rose had always taunted me about my 'non-existant social life.'

_Come on, Comrade, _she'd say after I blanked after the mention of a new song or movie that I hadn't heard of. _You need to get out more. _

_I'm not the one who would implode if they stopped talking, _I would tease back.

_Don't laugh, _she'd scold. _I have more friends than The Beatles and John Wayne._

She hits my arm playfully, her force weakened from her lack of training. "Shut up."

I bump my arm into hers, and she smiles and pushes me back. She laughs, then immediately stops.

"I can't remember the last time I actually laughed," she whispers. "God, it's been a long time." She turns back to me, smiling.

I smile back. "I missed your laugh. Especially when it's not directed at my music choices."

She laughs again. "They deserved to be laughed at."

I roll my eyes, causing her to bite her lip, trying to contain her laughter.

I have to say, I was a little disappointed when we reached the cafe. I didn't really want to give her up.

As we enter, I scan the room, my eyes catching Adrian, Vasilisa, and Christen in a booth in the corner. With Tasha.

We make our way over, and Tasha jumps up. Her arms close around Rose, and then she moves to quickly embrace me.

"I knew you two would find each other," she says happily, and Rose smiles and plops down into the booth.

"Rose? You look better," the Princess comments, and I can't help but smile.

"Yeah," Rose replies. "I'm feeling better."

She then launches into the day's activities, and what she has been busy with these past few days. She also tells them about my 'new job', and Tasha congratulates me.

Surprisingly, the tension I was expecting didn't exist, and I actually enjoyed myself, despite my position between Rose and Tasha, with Adrian on Rose's left. We talked late into the night, until the point that we were the only ones to remain. A shy Moroi girl steps up and informs us that the cafe is closing, and we all rise to leave.

Rose tries to hand me my coat, but I refuse.

"Keep it to get back to your room."

"Thanks, Dimitri," she smiles, and gives me a quick hug before departing with Adrian. I get a quick flash of heat, and just as suddenly, she's gone.

I crave the warmth, feeling like I've lost a part of myself. I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder.

"You two really need some alone time. You're practically begging for her attention."

I smile and turn to face her.

"Thanks."

Tasha kisses my cheek and embraces me, before bidding Christian and the Princess goodbye.

_Alone time. _And I leave feeling slightly_...light,_ despite the death and destruction that looms over the Court.

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**This chapter is SO LONG! I hope this makes up for my absence! I will most definately post as soon as I get back, and again, you guys can leave a review to give me suggestions on what I can do to make up for it... :)**


	33. Alone Time With Rose

**I am _SO SORRY! _But I'm updating now...?**

**And, another note, I got a review saying that this isn't Twilight, Rose's awakening wouldn't be painful. I've never read Twilight, so I have no idea about that, but I am basing my part of the story on how Isiaiah told Rose that compulsion works both ways. He could have made drinking from her so painful, she'd beg him to kill her. Just to clear that up!**

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"The Guardians should be arriving today, a few tomorrow morning, and then a second group will arrive next week, along with the sophomores from St. Vladamirs."

We all nod, some heads bent over pads of paper, pens furiously scratching on the paper, recording the information.

"The Moroi are being moved as we speak, and any possible entrances are being reinforced. I want you all back here at six tomorrow morning. Any questions?" Silence. "Good. Guardian Belikov, Rosemarie, you are dismissed from tomorrow's meeting."

The Queen then departs, followed by a team of eight Guardians. Eight. While the non-royal Moroi had none.

Rose and I, sitting side by side, both wait until the room has cleared out before we rise, Rose gathering papers. She carries no purse or bag, so I pray she's available tonight. We exit the meeting room, stepping instantly from the bright lit room into the dark, stone corridor.

"Rose? Do you want to get something to eat? Unless you've got plans again..." I suddenly say.

She smiles. "Nope. I'm free."

I can't help but smile, too. "Great," I say, trying to contain my enthusiasm.

"Where do you want to go?" I ask, grabbing the door handle to open it for her.

"Uh... somewhere indoors?" she answers.

Confused I step forward and look around the wooden slab. It's pouring outside. The rain pounds on the pavement like bombs, looking as if it will dent the concrete.

We exchange a look, then Rose smiles mishcieviously and takes a step outside. Rose runs, her hands are over her head not in a defensive way, but in an inviting way. She spins around, her face turned upwards towards the sky.

I watch in amazement and adoration as Rose dances in the rain. She pauses, water running down her face in sheets, soaking her skin. Slowly, she lowers to gaze to me. Her dripping wet hair hangs down her face, her entire figure is dark with percipitation.

"Beautiful," I whisper.

She raises her eyebrows at me, obviously, and thankfully, unable to hear my words. I smile and sigh, before finally entering the rain. We run through the pounding water.

We are absolutely drenched by the time we actually reach the small cafe. Both of us are in hysterics, laughing loudly, as if the rain has washed away our burdens. We leave a dripping trail to a table in the corner of the room. Rose flops down onto one side of the round booth, while I take the other. When we finally calm ourselves, the waitress comes and takes our orders. I order coffee, while Rose looks seriously at the Moroi girl and asks for a water, causing both of us to converse into laughter once again.

Rose combs her fingers through her soaking hair, while I shake my head like a shaggy dog, causing her to shriek playfully at me. With one final, happy sigh, I sink back into the padded seat of the booth. Rose does the same.

"God, I feel better."

I look at her, struggling against my excitement. _It wasn't you. If it was you who made her feel this way, she would want to be with you._

"I do too," I admit. We meet gazes and she smiles.

I suddenly recalled how, back at the academy, rumours had surfaced that Rose had done some..._horrible _things with Jesse Zeklos. I had seen Rose in the hallways, completely, well, _dead. _It was the only way I could describe her. She had thrown herself into training, no jokes, no "Comrade", nothing.

I had spent my entire childhood an outcast. Ivan had been the only one who had really even taken a second glance at me. It's why I was so dedicated, and so understanding of my duty. I had a lot of practice being invisible.

But Rose, Rose did not. She was so outgoing, beautiful. And she seemed to be sinking into herself, wasting away. And I did everything in my power to make her smile, or laugh, or acknowledge me.

And now, I was doing the same thing, trying to bring her out of her shell. I was only worried that I would stretch her so far that she would be unstable, and one wrong on my part would cause her to collapse back, loosing all of my progress.

Although all of these worries burden me, my sides ache with laughter. I am amazed that I can be so...easy going...when an attack is in our almost-present.

Rose seems to be thinking the same thing, because she says, "They're not going to let me fight."

I raise a brow at her. "What? Why not?" I ask.

"Because. They think I'm still Team Strigoi and I'll go crazy and attack the Queen or something. They're already starting to keep me out of the plans."

I sigh. "I have to say I'm a little relieved." She raises her brows. "If it were up to me, I'd have you locked in a room with Guardians surrounding every exit."

She rolls her eyes. "Overprotective much?" she asks. I shrug. _Can you blame me?_

"Rose, it'll turn out fine. You just have to trust that everything will work out, that everything happens for a reason. The universe has a way of working everything out."

"Really? You mean to tell me that you don't stay up at night, you can't fall asleep, and blame yourself for something that's already happened?"

I pause. How many nights had I spent wondering _what if? What if I had been faster? What if I had seen the strigoi ahead of time? What if I had never fallen if love with Rose in the first place?_

"It's different," I mumble.

"How is it different?"

I should have known she would call me on that.

"Because, you really had no choice in the matter. I could have saved you. I could have protected you. If I was faster, or stronger, or-"

"No. You really couldn't have," Rose interupts.

"I'm sorry," I blurt. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise to you, Rose, I-"

I am cut off by a shake of Rose's head. "Dimitri, you didn't, I was the one who jumped in front of you, remember?"

I slide across the booth, leaning towards her to whisper. "I should have seen it coming. I promised that I would never let anything happen to you, and then-"

I am cut off, once again, when Rose presses her lips to mine. I instantly respond, burying my fingers in her hair, my other arm slipping around her waist. Fire, electricity, binds us, pulling us closer.

But Rose freezes. _No no no no no! _I push forward, taking control, pulling back slightly between each kiss, testing her. Finally, she pushes away.

"No!" she gasps. "That shouldn't have happened."

I can't help but give a small, sad smile. "Never thought I'd hear _you _say that."

She doesn't answer, but stared down into her lap. The young waitress, sensing the tension between us, left us our food and quickly left.

I pick up two greasy fries, waiting for Rose to even look at her meal. But she doesn't even seem to notice.

"Rose, you aren't going to eat anything?" I ask, trying desperately to break the awkward tension between us.

She shakes her head. _I've lost her. _

"Really? Not even a few fries?" I prod, waving the fries in front of her.

"I'm not hungry..."

"Rose, you're always hungry."

She smirks, but tries to hide it. "Come _on, _Rose_._"

Her gaze slowly lifts, and she purses her lips upon seeing me, holding my lowly, deep-fried offering. With a sigh, she reaches out and grabs a single fry, and bites off of the end, then rolls her eyes in ecstasy.

"Mmmm, this is so much better than prison food."

We quickly finished off the plate, not speaking, the stiff tension fading. Until of course, she curses.

"What?"

She looks up, her face lined with embarrassment. "I... I didn't bring my purse. I don't have any money. I'm _so_ sorry, I really didn't-"

I smile and take a sip of my coffee. "Yeah, I noticed."

She is taken aback. "You..._noticed? _And you didn't say anything?"

I try to repress the corners of my mouth turning upwards. "Because then you wouldn't have let me pay."

She groans. "Should've known... Always the gentlemen." She gives me an apologetic look. "Thank you, Dimitri."

I shake my head, perhaps not the most polite response to an expression of gratitude, but I can't really think of anything to say that wouldn't make her uncomfortable. _It's a few dollars, Roza, I you're worth it. You will always be worth it._

I pay the waitress, sliding out of the booth and holding out my hand to assist Rose in rising. As I hold open the door to the cafe, Rose shakes her head, smiling.

"Growing up with women's made you soft, Belikov."

I roll my eyes. "I'm civilized, so sue me."

Rose fakes offence and waltzes past me, bidding me goodnight with a soft smile and a warm hand on my shoulder.

"Goodnight, Rose," I say, although she's already long gone.

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**I'll be updating soon! (Hopefully) ...:)**


	34. Fighting and Battles

_Raw emotions flood through me. Anger. Fury. Thirst. Want. _

_I grasp her hand, my lifeline, although I'll never admit it. She pulls me up, just enough, to look deep into my eyes, sadness and heartbreak illuminating hers. _

_"I will always love you," she whispers, before plunging the stake into my chest. Pain, fire and ice. I'm choking, screaming, I cannot tell. _

_"That's," I choke out, "What I was supposed to say."_

_And then I'm falling, falling away from Rose and hertear-stained face, down, down, into the depths of the abyess._

I wake with a start, sweat and confusion caking my face. I try to shake my head to clear my thoughts, but the emotions linger. Anger and fury. Thirst, blood lust, want. Want, and and in a gentle way. I quickly rise, despite the fact that it's three in the morning.

I pull open the shower door, hoping to wash away the nightmare. They've been plaguing me, ever since Rose left. I'm strigoi, she's strigoi, she is taken/dies in battle. It never fails to change.

I think of my grandmother's vivid dreams; dreams of the past, the future, and the "unentered future," or what I had learned was the future that never happened, a path that had changed by someone's actions.

Recently, before the attack, Rose had been shocked to learn that I held respect for "Fortune tellers." In truth, when you had someone in your life that knew seemingly everything you did, it made it hard to wave off.

I step out of the shower, still finding the clinging remains of the dream stuck to me. So I did what I always did in the wake of fury, frustration, anger. I changed into a t-shirt and track pants and started off towards the gym.

Even in Court, the gym was empty at this time in the morning. Night shift Guardians were still on duty, while day shifters were fast asleep, preparing for the day ahead. So I am alone in the empty gym. I step to one side of the enormous space, and with a final preparation breath, I take off, legs pounding.

My sneakers slap against the polished wooden floor, echoing off of every surface. I reach the end, turning sideways, I crouch, my fingertips touching an imaginary line, and then I push upwards, moving to the other end of the gym.

_Two. _Back up. After a few laps, I already feel a dull burn in my sides, the pulsing of my heart, the tension in my legs. I could've been at this for hours, for all I knew. _Fifty-seven. _I tap the ground and push back up.

But when I turn, I almost run into a dark figure, standing in the centre of the gym, directly in my path, arms crossed. I manage to skid to a stop. "_Rose?"_

She raises her eyebrows. The _one _person that I was trying to run _away _from.

"What are you doing here?" I ask in disbelief.

"I could ask you the same question," she counters.

I rub the back of my neck. "Working out."

"Same here."

Vague, as always. "Well," I say glancing at the clock. "This is what 4:30 in the morning looks like." I hold out my arms in a teasing way, although I can tell exhaustion prevents my tone from following the playfulness. "Is it darker than you thought it would be?"

"Shut up," she replies, struggling against the humour in her own voice. "I've been up early before, you know."

"Sure," I reply. "Well, I'll leave you to it, then." And I take off running again. It isn't until I touch the ground and see a hand shoot out behind me that I realize I have a follower. I catapault upwards, hearing the pounding of feet behind me. I look over, and Rose is right beside me. She turns, sees me, and smirks, then pushes in front of me.

Matching her pace, I quickly catch up, and we battle, back and forth, alternating the lead. Finally, when I feel as though my heart will combust, I slow, panting heavily.

"I'm done!" I call, resting my hands on my knees.

"Already?" Rose calls back as she finishes her lap. "You're getting old, Belikov."

"I've also been doing this for the past two hours," I inform her.

"Oh."

When I feel her step beside me, I straighten. "Can we spar?" she asks suddenly.

Taken back, I nod. "Sure..." Without another word, Rose walks over to the mats, and turns to face me, already in position.

I position myself across from her, knees bent, eyes focused. Before I can even speak, Rose lunges, and I dodge out of the way. Punching and blocking, we circle. We each land a few hits, but is it me who, quite literally, sweeps Rose's feet from under her, pinning her onto the mats.

"Again?" she asks.

I land a few more pins, and can't help but slip into my mentor role, pointing out improvements. Rose nods, accepting my words, and we go again. To my surprise, Rose thrusts out a fist, which flies above my shoulder. I lean to the right, just as Rose foot connects with my side, causing me to loose my balance. I fall.

In an instant, Rose is on top of me, pinning my mats on either side of my head. We are both panting heavily, taking in all of the oxygen from the room.

Rose is pressed against me, hands gripping my wrist. Slowly, so slowly, she leans down, her lips touching mine. Her hands release my wrists, and I slide them around her waist, her hands going to my hair.

I sit up, never breaking the kiss, and pull her into me. I grip her tighter as her lips move from my mouth to my cheek, my jaw, my neck.

And she freezes. My whole world sinks. And, as always, she pulls away, shoving herself off of my lap and turning away, heading for the door.

"Rose! Wait!"

She turns, eyes blazing. "That...that..."

Anger, probably left over from my nightmare, floods through me. "A mistake? An accident? That's the second time that's happened Rose, in less than _twelve _hours! Twelve! And it was 'a mistake?' Who are you trying to convince, Rose, me or you?"

She steps forward, her jaw set. "This coming from _you? _Every time we kissed, _you _were the one to brush it off! How _dare _you turn this back on me! You're just as bad!"

"_I _was trying to protect Vasilisa!" I cry.

"And _I'm _trying to protect _you! _Why can't you see that?"

"_Protect me? _I'm twenty-four, Rose, I can take care of myself!"

"And I can't?" she shouts. "I'm _eighteen, _Dimitri! I'm an _adult! _I'm not your student anymore! I can do whatever the hell I want. _Without _your permission!"

I grind my teeth together. "I don't want your _permission! _I want _you!"_

"You can't! I'm ruining your reputation! Your _life! _And you're too stupid to see that!" She yells.

"I don't _care _about my reputation! And _you _are my life!"

And I step forward, cupping her jaw and jerking her towards me. I force my lips onto hers, pushing my mouth against hers. She stiffens, and attempts to pull away, but I hold her fast. Finally, _finally, _she sinks into me. Her arms slip around my neck, and I release her jaw, sliding her hands down to her waist.

Slowly, I step forward, allowing Rose to move backwards. We both stumble back until I feel Rose's back hit the gym wall. She pulls me closer, and I press her against the wall, slowly sliding my hands down her arms, lifting them over her head.

I push harder against her, until Rose slides her hands onto my chest and shoves. Hard.

I don't stumble back, but she makes a distance between our bodies. "Rose-" I start, still leaning on my arms, which are on either side of her shoulders.

But her eyes are wide and fearful. "Strigoi."

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**Dun Dun Duhhhh! Please review ;)**

**I know that the beginning might not make sense, since it's from Blood Promise... I was kind of adding in that Dimitri might have a tiny amount of his grandmother's fortune telling abilities. I always find it strange how he's always in the right place in the right time, and how his "Zen Life Lessons" are so wise and thoughtful, just like Yeva :)**


	35. Disrespect

**Thanks for all of your amazing reviews! They're awesome!**

**And a special thanks to Veronicat175, who read all thirty-four chapters in one night. That's dedication, people. **

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_"Strigoi."_

I don't hesitate. I grab the stake from my pocket, that I always have on me. "Rose, what are you taking about?"

She looks sheepish, self-doubting. "I don't know. I can, I can sense them. I think it might be about me being shadow kissed. Please, _please, _tell me you believe me. Oh God, you think I'm crazy don't you?"

I think of the ghosts, the darkness, the bond. "Where's Vasilisa?" I ask, putting my faith in her.

She doesn't answer, and she looks..._scared. _"She's in her room. The strigoi are at the border. Dimitri, they...they took away my stake," she whispers.

I squeeze my eyes shut for a split second, then grab her hand and drag her out of the room. "We're taking Vasilisa to the chapel. Rose, _don't _leave my side."

She nods, and we both run, full-speed, towards Vasilisa's room. "Buria!" I yell, passing by the Moroi dorm.

The guardian turns, wide-eyed. "_What?" _

"At the borders."

"North side, I think," Rose says, panting. The man takes off towards the Guardian's building, and Rose and I both rush into the Moroi housing. We take the stairs, both of us too keyed up to stop and wait for the elevator.

"Princess," I call loudly, pounding on her door. "Vasilisa, we need you to get up!"

Nothing. "LISSA! Get your _ass _out of bed!" Rose nods to me.

"They're getting close."

Without another word, I rear back and kick the door handle, breaking the lock.

We both burst into the room and Rose races to Lissa's bedroom. "Liss, get up, come on."

"Rose," the Princess says groggily.

"Liss, there are _strigoi," _Rose cries.

"What? Where?"

"They're close, Liss. Really close."

"I-"

"We have to go!" I intrrupt, quite rudely, and lean down, picking up the princess in my arms.

"Dimitri!" she cries. "I can walk! Put me down!"

I sigh and let her gently put her feet back on the ground. "Please, we have to get Christian!"

Rose looks at me. "I'll get Christian, Adrian too. Get Lissa to the chapel."

"Roza, I won't leave you."

A familiar crosses her face, one I know means she knows her responsiblity well. "They come first."

And I run, and leave Rose behind. Again.

...

"Dimitri? Where are the strigoi? Did you see any? Is Rose going to be okay?"

I sigh and pull the Princess behind me. "Rose said they were on the North side. We didn't see them, Rose sensed them. And _God, _I hope so, Vasilisa."

"Did she get her stake back?"

My heart aches and sinks. "No," I whisper, and Vasilisa gasps.

"The _last _Dragomir?"

The third voice was cold and taunting. I spin quickly, shoving the Princess behind me.

He smiles and approaches, something about his essence that tells me he is new, but still strong.

I leap forward. The strigoi steps up, attempting to circle me. But I step in his way, ensuring that he never gets close to Vasilisa. He throws a punch forward, and I jerk my arm upwards, tossing aside his fist. I elbow his temple, and he stumbles to the side.

The man digs his foot into the ground and pushes back, punching me in the gut, then shoving me backwards, slipping his leg between mine and bringing it up sharply. I manage to shove myself backwards, but I still feel the sharp shooting pain, and the strigoi tackles me in my weak moment.

The Princess screams from behind me. I ignore the throbbing pain and roll over him, punching him in the gut and refusing to wince as his fingernails claw at my face. I grab my stake and manage to shove it into his chest, despite his fighting and struggling. He shudders and screams, finally falling limp.

I attempt to catch my breath, and felt as Vasilisa ran beside me, gently placing her hand on my arm, and the other one on my back. "Are you alright? Oh my God, are you okay?"

I grunt and she slowly helps me to my feet. "Yeah," I croak. "I'm fine. We need to get to the chapel."

She shoots me a _Can you even **walk**__? _look. But she follows me, still supporting my arm as I try not to limp. We finally, _finally, _reach the chapel and I quickly push Vasilisa inside. "Stay here. _Don't _leave."

I start to leave, when she grabs my wrist. "Wait! Where are you _going? _You're going to leave me?" Once again, I am torn.

I choose where my heart has always been. "You'll be safe here. I can't leave Rose. I have to protect her. I have to find her, Princess. _Please,_" I beg, somehow needing her permission.

She looks me up and down, and finally nods. "Please don't let anything happen to her."

And I run.

...

I can sense Rose's emotions of determination, and I assume that she has found both Adrian and Christian. I follow my instincts, giving up my thoughts to allow my mind to reach out to Rose.

Feeling as I begin to get closer, I start running faster and faster, dodging strigoi, stepping over bodies. _Please, please let her be alright. _Rose didn't have her stake. And I was terrified.

My instinct takes me towards the Commons area. I sprint down pathways, when I pass a thick cluster of Guardians. Several Guardians lie unmoving on the ground, their necks twisted at horrible angles, while a few other Guardians manages to finish off the last of the strigoi.

"Belikov!" He cries. "We've lost Guardians. You need to protect the Queen. Far Guard."

I freeze. "I can't," I reply stupidly. His eyes narrow.

"This is your _duty, _Belikov," the Queen scolds, and I'm torn. Again.

I think of Rose, always wanting me to choose my job over our relationship. At least recently.

"Alright," I whisper, a quick flash of my own betrayel leaving a sour taste in my mouth. I stand, twitching and figeting, desperate to get to Rose.

The Guardian to my right shoots me a disapproving look, but remains silent. Hours seem to pass. _Roza, please stay safe, _I silently pray.

We both tense as we hear footsteps pounding down the pavement. "Dimitri!" Rose cries as she turns the corner.

"Thank God!" I immediately blurt, relief flooding through me.

She grabs my wrist and starts to tug me away, when a voice strikes us.

"Hathaway! _What _do you think you're doing? Taking away one of _my _Guards?" the Queen says, a horrified look crossing her face.

I am at a loss of words, but Rose, of course, comes up with the perfect comeback. God, I wish I could do that.

She grabs at a sophomore, one who looks completely terrified, and shoves her towards the Queen. "There's your Guard."

"A _sophomore?" _Tatiana replies.

Rose smirks. "Oh, they're _more _than mature enough and strong enough to handle guarding any _other _Moroi, but when it's your own life on the line, they're underqualified? Is that the way things work around here, Tatiana?"

I refrain from keeping my jaw from dropping at her disrespect towards the Queen. But before I can say anything, I am dragged off by Rose, leaving behind a flustered Tatiana.

"Rose," I say, using my thickest 'mentor tone.' "You shouldn't have said that to her. She's the Queen. You owe respect-"

Rose snorts. "I owe her _nothing. _She treated me like a monster until she needed something from me. I don't care what happens to her. But you, I need you."

"Why?" I ask, confusion settling over me.

But she continues to drag me behind her. "Rose, why do you need me?"

"Because," she whispers so quietly I can barely hear. "You're the only one who will trust me."

Bodies lay scattered across the ground, blood seeping into the grass. I squeeze her hand gently. "I'm glad you're alright," I murmur.

She turns to face me, slowly giving me a sad smile. "Me too. Didn't run into any strigoi. Lucky us. Adrian was complaining about having to wake up so early in the freaking morning."

I try to laugh, but the death and destruction around me constricts my throat.

All I wanted was to wrap my arms around her, kiss her, tell her that if something happened to either one of us, I would always love her.


	36. Nathan

"Roza," I beg. "Where are you taking me?"

But she refuses to answer, and just drags me along.

"Rose," I demand.

"Promise you'll do what I say. Promise," she commands.

"Rose-"

"Promise!"

I hesitate, knowing I won't like what she has in store. She lets out a rush of air, quickly turning to face me, her eyes glowing bright. "Dimitri, this is _really _important. _Promise _me that you'll follow my instructions. Just this once!"

I sag in defeat. "Alright."

She smiles sadly. "Good." She starts to drag me along again, but pauses to look back at me.

"One more thing..."

I raise a brow.

"Uh, just remember that I threw myelf in front of you and turned strigoi to save your life, okay?"

I am taken aback. "Not that I would ever forget, Roza... But why are you using this to your advantage?"

She looks wary. "Dimitri, just...just don't do anything _stupid_, okay?"

And I am, once again, pulled behind the woman who has more muscle than height.

"Rose, tell me where we're going!"

But she tugs me along, then, eventually, shoves me behind a bush.

"Okay, you come out when I give the signal, okay?" she commands.

I stare up at her, on my knees, crouching behind a shubbery. "Roza-"

"I'll yell 'go', okay? That's the signal!"

I reach up, resting my hands on the back of her neck, and pull her down, forcing her lips onto mine.

She sinks to her knees beside me, and I kiss her with every emotion that I have ever felt.

She breaks the kiss, and before I can even feel the sting of rejection, she throws her arms around me, burying her face into my neck. "Please, please be careful," she whispers in my ear.

I hug her tightly. "Roza, stay with me. I can't lose you again. I'll fall apart," I admit, and I can feel as Rose presses her lips to my neck once more, before pulling away to cup my face.

"And I meant it. _Don't _do anything stupid."

"I already told you. I'm twenty-four. I can take care of myself."

She tilts her head. "You'd think."

_Just like old times. _I open my mouth to speak my mind, but Rose presses her finger to my lips, turning her head.

"Stay here," she whispers, and rises to her feet.

"Well, well. If it isn't the infamous Rosemarie. I _heard _you were a dhampir, I just couldn't believe it myself."

"Shut up, Nathan."

He steps forward, hands in his pockets. He's well-dressed, with polished shoes, a satin vest over his button-up shirt. The only reason I pay any attention to his clothing whatsoever is because he looks more he's about to attend a dinner party than a battle. He reminds me of Ivashkov. God, that kid infuriates me.

"So now you're on _their _side, hmm? I thought you hated them? _Selfish _was the word you used, I think."

"I've changed. I'm not a monster anymore."

'Nathan' smirks. "Like me? You didn't seem to think I was a monster, hmm? Not when we kissed. Not when I-"

"That meant _nothing _to me! I was using you," Rose interrupts, thankfully. My fists are clenched at my sides, and I want to run out and stake him, telling him he'll never touch Rose again. I've never been the jealous type, but just the _thought _of that monster touching her seeps into my mind.

"Oh, I know. I was using you, too," Nathan replies nonchalantly, and now I really want to kill him. "I was hoping you would give this up, but I see that's not going to happen. You remember John and Alex."

Rose turns to run, but is grabbed from behind by two strigoi. Rose struggles, but has been weakened due to her lack of training.

"Now, tell what's-his-name to stop hiding and come out."

Rose jerks her arm, then grits her teeth as she is tugged back. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really?" he hisses. "Well then I suppose there is no one to hear you scream."

Her arms are twisted behind her back and she bits her lip. "_Don't,_" she gasps, speaking to me, and my heart breaks.

"No? Nothing? Well then, what about a broken neck?" He walks behind her, gripping her throat.

"_No!_" I roar, an inhuman growl escaping my throat, and I jump from my hiding place. "Don't. Touch. Her."

Nathan shoots me a bright, cold grin. Ice-like. "We were wondering when you would show up."

I grip my stake tightly. "I _said _let her go," I hiss. "Take me, instead."

Rose gasps. "No!"

Nathan removes his hands from around her neck, but I don't relax. My gaze never leaves Nathan, but I nudge my head towards his followers.

"I don't want their hands on her," I command.

Nathan shrugs. "So? What do you care? She doesn't care about _you._"

I refrain from rolling my eyes. How petty. "Really?" I say, sarcasm dripping from my lips. "Does she not?"

Nathan smirks. "How about you tell her what you told me, sweetheart? Remind me what you said, again?"

Rose keeps her face blank. "Screw you."

He grins again. "Oh? Not going to talk? Even if I kill your boyfriend, too?"

Now, she is silent. I am almost afraid of the words that will come from her mouth, words she has spoken about me.

She squeezes her eyes shut, then shakes her head. Nathan takes a step towards me, and Rose caves.

"No!" To my surprise, tears seep down her cheeks. _Oh, Roza. _"Okay! Okay!" she sniffs. "I... I said... I said that I didn't love you. That you were just like...just like Jesse." She struggles against the grip of the two men. "Please Dimitri, I was, I changed! I didn't mean it! Please, I-"

Nathan waves his hand, and the two strigoi pull up Rose's arms. She cries out. Nathan smiles, cold and emotionless.

"Oh, you skipped the part where you said what a heartless bastard he was, and how he never actually gave you what you needed."

I suppress a wince. My...previous display of affection towards Rose was a sore point for me. I knew that I hadn't shown Rose anything, any love, really any _interest, _when we were at the academy. And that is something I would regret. Every day of my life.

Nathan slowly approaches. "Still want to give your life for her?" he asks smugly.

I look at Rose, whose tears stain her face, slipping down her cheeks. "Dimtri," she whispers.

I turn back to Nathan. "No," I whisper, and turn away, unable to look at Rose's broken face. And then she screams in pain, and I can hear the crack of bone.

All of my love, my emotion, my _anger, _floods through me, and I take a deep breath.

* * *

***gasp* Please leave a review! I love to hear your comments!**


	37. The Chapel

_All of my_ _love, my emotion, my anger, floods through me, and I take a deep breath._

In one fluid motion, I spin, stabbing my stake into Nathan's unbeating heart. It's not the most graceful movement, and I end up breaking several of his ribs. But he freezes, then collapses to the ground, sliding off of my stake like a puppet with cut strings.

"I lied," I murmured, looking at the man that I hate, more than anything.

Rose takes this opportunity to jerk her arms away from the two strigoi, bringing her fist upwards to hit one in the jaw, than slamming her forehead against the other strigoi's jaw, too short to reach his forehead, and drops to the ground and rolls away.

I run forward, throwing myself between the strigoi and Rose. One lunges forward, but I, having at least a half a foot of height on him, step out of the way, cracking my elbow into his back and forcing him down.

The next man comes for me. I punch him, square in the nose, and send him stumbling backwards. I take this time to step down on the back of the first man, who is attempting to rise. I thrust my stake downwards. It is an uncoordinated shot, and doesn't hit the mark, but it buys me time.

The second strigoi shoves me, hard. I take a step back, swinging my body and kicking my foot outwards, kicking him in the chest. He falls back, and I leap, my knees on his chest, and slip the stake between his ribs.

Pushing off, I turn and face the third strigoi, who has not yet recovered, and finish him off as well. With one final breath, I turn to Rose, who is huddled in the corner of the small clearing, shaking and defenseless without a stake. I kneel before her.

"Roza-"

"I didn't mean it," she sobs. "I'm so sorry. I...I-"

I cup her face and kiss her, long and gentle, my lips moving in sync with hers, her one hand slipping onto my shoulder, and I pull her tight against me.

We pull our lips away, foreheads bent together, still holding each other.

"That," Rose murmurs. "Was the very definition of stupid. You were... you were supposed to wait until I could at least distract Nathan. _Then _you could stake him."

I look back at the three bodies laying on the ground, and turn back to Rose, shrugging. "I was impulsive. You're rubbing off on me."

Rose smiles warmly through her tears, and pulls me against her lips again. When I feel her wince, I pull away, moving to her side, cradling her.

"What did they do to you?" I murmur, gently taking hold of her arm. Rose winces and I help lift her arm, where her forearm in twisted and moved at an unnatural position.

"Oh, Roza," I say softly, not really talking to her, but kissing her forehead anyways. I slip out of my coat and unzip my sweatshirt, immediately feeling the cool rush of air hit my arms.

Still supporting Rose's arm, I make a crude sling out of the sweatshirt, tying the sleeves around her neck. She leans her head against my neck as I work.

When I finish, I slide the jacket over Rose's shoulders. Taking her by her one good hand, and sliding my arm around her waist, I help her off of the cold ground, leading her away.

"Where are we going?" Rose mumbles, exhaustion taking over.

"Roza, I'm taking you to the chapel, okay? You can sleep there. Vasilisa will heal you."

Rose nods and cuddles into me, and I immediately feel the warmth of her. And although surrounded by destruction, my heart is light.

Unfortunately, strigoi surround the church, Guardians fighting them off, obviously trying to clear the path for any wounded Moroi or Dhampirs. I hold Rose protectively to my chest, and start to push my way through. I am shoved back several times, and I am forced to push Rose back to slam my stake into the back of one strigoi, but I immediately grab her hand and quickly pull her inside.

The injured lay on the wooden benches, and I see the Princess scurrying around, trying to attend all of them. She looks up when we enter.

"Rose! Dimitri!" She immediately runs to our side. "What happened? Rose, are you alright?"

She nods. "My arm is broken, but yeah, I'm alright."

Vasilisa leads her to an empty seat, and pushes her down. "Okay, we're going to have to reposition the bone. This is going to hurt, okay?"

Rose winces and nods, squeezing my hand and burying her face into my neck. I hold her, and soothingly rub her back while the Princess moves Rose's arm.

She closes her eyes, and takes Rose's broken hand. I imagine the flood of warmth, of magic. Vasilisa drops Rose's hand, and it falls solidly, in one movement. Rose pulls away, slightly, to embrace her.

"Thanks, Liss."

Vasilisa tells her she'll return, and runs off to attend a patient.

I lay Rose down on the wooden bench, pillowing my sweatshirt beneath her head and draping my jacket over her body.

"Dimitri," she whispers. "Stay. Please stay."

I sigh. "Oh, Roza, I wish I could, but I have to go out and fight to keep the Moroi safe, to keep you safe. I'll be back, okay? I'll be back."

Slowly, she nods, and I press my lips to her forehead, brushing away several strands of hair, and walk quitely out of the church, away from Rose, and into the path of death and destruction.

...

Bodies. Everywhere I look, every space, every path, lay bodies.

This part of fighting is almost worse than the actual killing. These people were someone's son or daughter, parent, aunt, uncle. And they're gone. Hours before their family even knows.

The sky gets lighter and lighter, and the numbers of the warriors battling begins to thin.

Everyone here seems to be counting down. Just minutes left, seconds, until the sun breaks over the horizon, and we all pause. The sun warms my skin, sending relief through me. Freedom of the light.

All of the guardians look at one another, unable to process the silence.

"Everyone, report to the auditorium for further instruction," one of the top Guardians demands, and slowly, we break up, and begin to move towards the buildings.

I want to run to Rose, but I know she will be taken care of.

As I walk through the blood-coated grass, I hear a soft moaning.

Looking down, all I see are bodies. One is moving.

I drop to my knees. Blood covers his face from a gouge in his forehead, and blood is layered thick in his hair.

One of Rose's friends.

Oh, what was his name...

It dawns on me. I gently shake the boy.

"Edison, can you hear me?"

* * *

**Oh no! Not Eddie! Lol Please review!**


	38. Broken

_"Edison, can you hear me?"_

He moans again, and his eyes flutter open. "Guardian Belikov?"

I sigh in relief. "Edison, I'm going to take you to the chapel, alright?" I get a moan in response, and I pick up the boy in my arms.

Although he's probably only a little under a foot shorter than me, like a Guardian, his body has been trained and built, and he's heavy in my arms. He isn't regaining conciousness, and from the small amount of medical training every Guardian recieves, I know that this is not a good sign.

When I near the chapel, I hear a scream. Tensing, I scan the area before setting Edison down. A young woman, not much older than Rose, stands before me, sobbing. I stand defensively in front of Rose's young friend, but the girl, her large, blue eyes streaming, cries, "Thank God!" and throws herself into my arms.

"Are you alright?" I ask, but before she can answer, her long hair parts, and I can see bite marks littering her neck. _She's human. _

The girl pulls away, smiling wickedly through her false tears, and slams her fist into my chest, with such a force I didn't know a human contained. _What the hell? _I can hear the splintering of bone, but before the delayed pain can hit me, I quickly draw my stake and plunge it into her chest.

Suddenly, a tidal wave of throbbing pain crashes against my ribcage, and I fall to the ground trying not to breathe. At least two ribs are broken, possibly three or four, and who knows how many are cracked.

I've had broken ribs before, but this was entirely different. Something was punctured. And it wasn't good.

But that woman, the human, was working with strigoi. I crawl over, and slowly reach into her pockets. A stake.

This was sick. I had only seen this one other time. When Rose and I had been to the Badica house.

_Rose._

I wanted so badly just to be with her, especially now that I couldn't breathe with so much agony, but I knew with the amount of injured Moroi who would be treated first, it could be hours before I would recieve medical attention.

_I'll pass out by then, _I think, and try to push the thought out of my head. _Pain only exists in the mind. _

But the words were shoved out of my head as another wave of excruciating fire takes over my body. I find myself slowly rocking back and forth, trying to relieve the burn in my chest.

Through the roaring in my ears, I can hear a moan of pain. Edison.

He needed medical attention. He couldn't wait hours. The wound on his head and the gashes on his legs would bleed out.

So, with a pain tolerance I never knew I had, I picked up Edison, trying to keep from screaming in pain.

I stumble blinding, starting to lose the edge of my vison to darkness. _Not yet. _

When all I can see through my blurred vison is the form of a building, I start to pick up the pace, my ribs pressing into me.

I shove the door open, staggering down the aisle, before someone takes the boy from my hands. I sprawl onto the floor, crying out with the jarring of my ribs.

"Dimitri?" a frantic voice screams, and I manage to raise my head.

"Roza?" I choke out, needing her, and suddenly feel her warm hands in my hair, on my back, gently rubbing circles into my shoulders. "Human..."

"Lissa!" she screams. "Liss, you have to help him! What's wrong with him! Dimitri, what happened?"

"I-" Another wave of pain sweeps over me, and I can distantly hear myself let out an animalistic roar of pain. "Chest," is all I can say, before I am aware of nothing.

...

"He's waking up! Do you think he's waking up?"

I moan and slowly lift my heavy lids. Rose hovers above me, her hair dangling in my face.

"Dimitri? Honey, do you recognize me?"

I suddenly realize my back is killing me, and I lay in one of the uncomfortable pews. "Honey?" I tease. "What happened to Comrade?"

Rose gently embraces me, her lips pressing against my ear. "I thought it would be nicer to wake up to."

She pulls away, and I see tears in her eyes. "Rose? Oh, Roza, don't cry."

She smiles and wipes her eyes. "Are you okay? What the hell happened to you? Dimitri, all of the sudden I got this weird feeling... I knew something was wrong! And then you show up here, and Eddie's passed out, and you just collapse. You were screaming, and you said something about your chest. What happened? Does it still hurt?"

_My ribs! _

"There was a human," I say groggily. "I was trying to bring Edison here, and there was a human woman. I thought she was a feeder, but she attacked me, and broke my ribs. She had a stake, but I..."

I gulp, my mouth suddenly dry, and guilt starting to rise within me. I had murdered someone, not a strigoi, not a monster. A person.

Rose quickly disappeared, then ran back, handing me a glass of water. She helped me sit up, as my ribs still held a dull ache that made me gasp.

"Lissa said you're going to be sore for a week or so. She couldn't heal you completely, she has a ton of patients, and it's already starting to take it's toll. Sorry."

I smile. "Don't be sorry. I'll take this over broken ribs any day."

Rose suddenly has tears in her eyes again, and buries her face into my neck, slipping her hands around my neck, sudden emotion flooding her. I will never understand women.

"Rose, it's okay! I'm fine. Don't cry..."

She laughs against me. "I know! But... it's that stupid connection thing. I knew something was really wrong... and then you said there was something wrong with your chest, and I was so scared. I'm so glad you're alright."

My memory begins to flash back. "Edison... Is he alright?" I ask.

Rose smiles. "Yeah, Liss healed him, of course. He would have died, Dimitri, if you wouldn't have done anything."

"Can I talk to him?" I ask, my protective side taking over.

Rose nods, helping me up, and supports my arms, making sure I don't jar my aching chest.

Edison lays on one of the wooden benches, as every one of Vasilisa's patients does, and his eyes flutter open to meet mine.

"Edison, right? Castile?"

The boy smiles.

"Eddie. But yeah. You brought me here, right?" I nod. "Lissa said I would've died if you hadn't." I slowly nod again.

"I guess I owe you my life."

I shake my head. "As long as your alright."

He smiles. "No, really. I heard about your ribs, man. You okay?"

I nod, suddenly feeling awkward. "What happened?" I ask.

"Both of my ankles. Broken." He gives out a short, sharp laugh. "God, after everything that's happened to me, I'm either the luckiest person on earth, or the unluckiest. I can't quite decide."

I smile. "Well, you're still alive. That counts as something."

* * *

**Please review! I absolutely love them!**


	39. Pulling Away

**Thanks so much, as always, for your reviews!**

**And I know that it's weird for Dimitri to call Eddie 'Edison', but I find Dimitri so awkwardly formal with his titles. _Princess, Vasilisa, Lord Ivashkov..._**

* * *

"Bed rest," she answered. "Lots of bed rest."

I huff and slump back against my pillow. "Is there anything else I can do?"

The doctor smiles. "Water, eat properly, and rest. I don't want you out of bed."

"I've got border patrol-"

"You don't anymore. Don't fret, Guardian Belikov, I'll make sure of it."

I sigh again, defeated. Warm fingertips brush against the palm of my hand.

"And how long does he have before he can go back on duty?" Rose asks.

"One week."

I open my mouth to argue, but am interrupted with, "I can make it two."

Bitter, I immediately snap my jaw shut. Rose gives a small laugh at my disappointment, waiting until the doctor exits the room before settling in the chair at my bedside, smiling.

"It's not funny," I warn, but her smile deepens.

"You just need a sense of humor."

I scoff. "Humor? I'm stuck in my room for the next week."

She stands, leaning in to kiss my forehead. "You'll survive."

Suddenly, I feel small, comforted, as if I'm a child. "So where are you off to?" I ask, glad to see, at least a figment of, her old self.

"First, I'm going to go report back to Liss. She's worried about you. And second, I'm going to get you something decent to eat. Hospital food sucks. Believe me, I've spent half my childhood eating this crap."

I smile at her light, easy tone. "Thank you, but I doubt I'll be here long. I'm fine, the doctor is just... overly cautious."

She raises her eyebrows. "You broke your ribs, punctured a lung, and carried a full grown Guardian across the Court, not to mention the dehydration and the fact that you haven't eaten well since... God knows when. She _should _be overly cautious."

Shaking my head, I reply, "You worry too much about me, Roza."

"Someone's got to balance out your worries."

And she slips out of the door, leaving me alone to do nothing but stare at the stark, empty walls.

...

Refusing to wince after a rather jarring stride, I continue on my way, ignoring the throb in my not-quite healed ribs.

Thrilled to finally be back in my own room, I slowly ease myself onto my neatly made bed.

It's only when I finally lower myself onto my pillow, despite the protest of my aching ribs, that my cell phone begins to vibrate.

I groan and blindly reach out, grabbing it off of the bedside table.

_New Message  
Roza  
where r u?_

I smile, and could only imagine her, hands on her hips, her eyebrows raised.

_In my apartment._

My phone buzzes again, and I quickly answer.

_New Message  
Roza  
b rite there_

Several moments later, I hear the click of the door.

"Dimitri?" she calls, coming into the bedroom. I smile, holding out my arm. She steps closer, sitting down on the side of the bed.

The last time Rose had been in my room... things hadn't turned out well. But then, it depends on your outlook.

"Dimitri, I think we need to talk..."

I want to groan, bury my face into the pillows, block her out, yell, _anything, _but I simply nod, wide-eyed, and wait.

She seems to be waiting for my response, but stares down at her clasped hands.

"I know we've grown... _closer..._ these past few weeks... But I've still done some horrible things, and I can't just forget about them."

I suck in a breath. "Okay..."

"So I was thinking that maybe we should just... take some time, you know? I need to figure things out."

My whole heart sinks. "Rose, please don't just lead me on. I can't handle this anymore. Please, if you don't want to be with me, if you don't love me anymore, just tell me. Let me move on. I can't get close to you if you're going to keep shutting me out. Do this for me, if nothing else."

Tears build up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I don't mean to..."

"Then _what?_" I demand, squeezing my eyes shut. "What are you trying to do, Rose? Are you unsuccessfully trying to let me help you? Or unsuccessfully trying to push me away? I'm tired of being jerked around, Rose."

My words were harsh, and the last thing that I wanted was to upset her, but the words poured out of my mouth.

She lets out a shaky breath. "I... I-"

"What do you want me to do?" I whisper. "What can I do, Rose? I'll do anything."

A dry sob wracks her body. "Tell _me_ what to do," she begs. "I don't know what to do."

Despite the scream in my ribcage, I sit up, pulling her into me. "Oh, Roza, I'm not your mentor anymore," I say. "I can't tell you what to do."

"Then as my _friend, _my...my..." she sniffs. "Please. _Help me_."

Finally. That was all I wanted to do. Make it better for her. "Let me in, Rose. I know it hurts, I know it does, but I'm here. I'll give you time. If you need a therapist, or just someone to talk to. But don't cut me out of your life. A Guardian's life is lonely enough. Believe me, I know."

She nods into me. "I just... I feel like I shouldn't be near you. Like I could still hurt you. But I never would, not anymore. But I let myself get near you, and... I don't know! It's like I'll hurt you again, emotionally, or... I don't know. And that's why I keep pulling away. I really am trying to protect you. Really."

I sigh and rest my cheek against the top of her head. "You're angry," she whispers.

"No, I'm not angry."

She sniffs again. "Yes, you are. I can... sense it."

God, I forgot about the... what was it, really? A weak bond?. "Roza, I wish you would have told me earlier. You could have saved us both a lot of heartbreak."

"I'm so sorry," she murmurs, her soft lips brushing against my neck. _Oh, God. _

It had been months since we've had this close of contact, and it made me ache for her, even after I had promised to slow things down.

We both gently pull away, Rose still in my arms, and I lean my forehead against her temple, lacing my hand in hers, playing with her fingers.

"I love you," I whisper. "And I know, you're still getting used to this, and I knew that your feelings have changed, but Roza, I'm always going to be here. I love you. I always will, even if you're not ready to love me yet."

She took a deep breath. "Dimitri-"

And my phone vibrated. A string of curse words trail off in my head as I try to ignore the sound.

"Answer it," she whispers. "We both know it's probably something important."

"You're important," is my reply, but I grab my phone anyways. "Belikov."

"Guardian Belikov, we need you down here, now. They've come back."


	40. The Replacement

**Wow! Forty chapters... Is that too many? Should I be starting a new story soon? Like a sequel?**

_"Guardian Belikov, we need you down here, now. They've come back."_

_Oh, God. _"I'll be right there."

I shift Rose, who is still in my arms. "Rose, I want you to stay here. Don't move, don't leave, just stay here."

She freezes. "The strigoi are back, aren't they?" she asks, helping me stand against the protest of my throbbing ribs.

I nod, horror creeping throughout me. "Yes, I have to go. I'll come back, and I want you to be here."

"_What?_"

I sigh loudly, sitting back on the edge of the bed. "I do not want to worry about you, Rose. If you're safe here, then I just need to worry about getting back to you."

She gives me a look, one that says she's not going to do as I ask. "I can fight," she says firmly.

"With what?" I reply smoothly. "You don't have a stake."

She looks down at her empty hands. "I can't just stay here!"

"Please?" I beg, then lean down, slowly, to kiss her forehead, before grabbing my stake. But she jumps in front of me.

"Hey! You're on bedrest! You can't fight either, Comrade."

I curse quietly in Russian. "I have to go..."

"You'll collapse. You're dehydrated, overtired, and injured."

Unable to come up with a decent argument, I say, "Rose, I have to go. They need as many Guardians as possible."

She smiles. "You're right." She takes my stake and slides it into her own pocket, and gently pushes me onto the bed. "Now, you stay and rest. I don't want to worry about you while I'm out fighting."

"Rose," I groan. "I have to fight. I'm fine."

"You don't have a stake," she informs me mockingly. "Now, when I come back, I want you to be here, alright?" And she leans down to peck my forehead.

"Rose!" I protest when she begins to leave the room. With a sigh, she turns, hands on her hips. "Can you even sit up on your own?"

An hour ago, I could. But maybe she was on to something with her quip about me being overtired. My chest aches and throbs with effort, and let my head fall back against the pillow, defeated.

"That's what I thought. Drink your water," is all she says before shutting the door.

...

Torture. Absolute torture. Worry completely takes me over, consuming me, making me physically ill. Nausea comes and goes, but the ache of concern still lingers. I can hear screams from the courtyard, and all I can do is pray that they don't belong to Rose.

After several hours, the sound of the fight seems to have died, and I cannot help but gently drift to sleep.

_She's huddled in the corner, arms wrapped tightly around her knees, shaking. _

_"Roza?"_

_Nothing. She doesn't look up, she doesn't seem to hear me. _

_"Roza? Rose, sweetheart, look at me."_

_Nothing. Slowly, I move closer, gently placing my arm on her shoulder. Finally, finally, she looks up at me, tears coating her cheeks. _

_Her eyes are rimmed in red, crimson smeared across her lips._

_"Belikov?" I immediately spin, the scene evaporating, the picture dissolving into vapor._

_"Lord Ivashkov?"_

_He grunts in response. "Where the hell are you?"_

_I run a hand through my hair. "In my room. Rose told me to rest before she left."_

_He freezes. "You haven't heard."_

_"Heard what?" I ask._

_"Lissa was afraid you had tried to hurt yourself or something, man."_

_"Heard what?" I demanded frantically._

_Adrian sighs, once again. "You better get down here, Belikov."_

_"What happened, Adrian? Tell me what happened!"_

_"We're in the chapel."_

_And lunge for him, but he evaporates before I can reach him, and I stumble to the ground._

I wake with a jolt, my concious body feeling the jolt of impact. A sick feeling has hit me like a truck, and I shove myself out of bed, biting back a yelp from the pain in my chest.

My heart is throwing itself against my ribcage, making my whole body throb with pain and horror. I can hear my own pulse in my ears.

My feet pound down the stairs, taking four at a time. The chapel is across Court, but I make it there in record-breaking time. I crash through the doors of the chapel.

Vasilisa is sitting on one of the benches, sobbing, while Christian sits with her. Adrian looks even more pale than usual.

"What the hell is going on, Ivashkov?" I shout. Edison, obviously having been healed by the Princess, quickly jumps up, trying to restrain me.

"Where's Rose?" I demand. Silence. "Where's Roza?" I yell, and Vasilisa bursts into tears.

"She... She was taken. _Again."_

I can't move, can't breathe. The whole room has silenced, the panting of their breath the only thing I can hear. I squeeze my eyes shut. _Not again. No, I can't do this again. Oh, Roza. _

"What. Happened?" I demand through gritted teeth.

There is a moment of silence before Vasilisa speaks. "She... She... I thought it was over! I went outside, we needed some more food for the patients. And the Queen was outside, trying to get people organized and stuff, and this strigoi showed up. And..."

She sniffs loudly. "Rose threw herself in front of her! They tried to attack the Queen, and they killed some of the sophomores that were guarding her! But Rose jumped in front of her! And they just dragged her off!" She begins to sob wildly. "And I didn't know what to do! I ran back into the chapel! This is all my fault." She buries her face into Christian's shoulder.


	41. Swarmed

Rose. Gone. Again.

I glare at Ivashkov, staring him down, as if this is his fault, as if he's to blame."

"Dimitri-" Vasilisa begins, but I hold up my hand sharply.

"We're getting her back," I state, knowing my tone leave no room for argument. The group of teenagers are all giving me the he's-lost-it look, but my vision is turning red with loss and anger. "Where's the Queen?"

This time, Adrian cuts in. "There's no way they'll let anyone in to see her. She's under complete lock down."

"Then compel the Guardians!" I command, but the two Spirit users just exchange glances.

"Compel them? That's probably not the best decision-"

"Do you have any other ideas?"

They share quick look again before both turning to me. The Princess's cheeks are stained with tears. "We love her too, Dimitri. But we can't do that. We have to find another way. One that couldn't get you landed in jail!"

"You've compelled Guardian's before!" I say pointedly.

"Not when the place is crawling with strigoi and we're compelling the Guards to loosen up security!" Adrian argues.

I growl, not really at Vasilisa or Ivashkov in particular, but at myself. I should have jumped, pinned her down, begged her not to leave. She had been taken, again, and all because of her need to protect. Her need to protect me.

"We have to get in to see her!" I say again, and finally, Vasilisa sighs.

"We'll wait until the sun rises."

She was right. I shouldn't put the Queen in danger, or the Princess. But my own resentment towards the Moroi, particularly Royals, made my compassion shallow. They put Rose in danger, although I had done no better.

So I pace, back and forth across the chapel floor, almost able to feel the force of friction creating a crater under my feet, wearing down the wooden floorboards.

My mind paints images, ones of death and destruction and pain that Rose might be experiencing. I tell myself that I deserve to be tortured like this, because Rose is probably experiencing much worse.

Suddenly, I wish I had never read so many horrible reports on survivors on the captives of strigoi, as well as reports on the deceased. It had been part of my job, but now, my mind linked them together in a long, sick story.

_Bitten; broken neck; women touched, defiled..._

I shudder, and return to my pacing. Time seems to slow, to tick by, scraping agonizingly slowly. Her name echos in my mind.

_Fate, _my Grandmother had always said. _Everything happens for a reason. _But why, if I was never meant to be with Rose, had she come back to me, only to be ripped away again?

I tap my foot anxiously as the sky slowly lightens, gripping the window sill as I wait. I can hear Moroi scurrying about behind me, tending to patients.

Every second that passes, I try to imagine what she is doing, where she is, but I cannot focus.

"Dimitri?" Vasilisa whispers. "We'll find her. We have to. I know the bond hasn't been broken."

I feel a pain in my gut. "That could mean she's strigoi," I mumur. The Princess sighs.

"But what about your bond?"

I freeze. I wouldn't exactly call what Rose and I shared a _bond. _But the connection that had been created when Rose had turned back was strong. Although I couldn't slip into her head, I could sometimes sense her emotions, and often had a hard time separating her feelings from my own.

I close my eyes, trying desperately to filter out my anxiety. "She's terrified," I say, my head pounding. "She's completely terrified. But she's also... trying to be brave." I can't help but give a minuscule laugh. "She's trying to be... Rose."

Vasilisa sobs. "So she's not strigoi!" The Princess beams.

I sigh, my heart expanding against my ribcage painfully.

"Yet."

...

The second the sun is visible over the skyline, I am already dragging the Princess behind me, setting off across Court.

She scurried behind me, trying to ignore the bodies that littered the ground. One rather gruesome sight caused her to squeak in horror and walk faster, moving closer to me.

Now, a good, dedicated Guardian would have slowed, told her that nothing could hurt her during the day, comforted her, but I was much too occupied with my own thoughts and emotions. But as we kept moving, I could feel as she started to tremble.

Rose had always been the one to calm Vasilisa, to protect her, to comfort her. But now, I was forced into the position, a inadequate replacement.

But I pull Vasilisa closer, and she latches on to my elbow, hiding behind me.

When we finally reach the political buildings, I barge in the door, immediately being swarmed by Guardians.

* * *

** I apologize for the length! Sorry!**


	42. Dream Walk

Thinking back, bursting through the door in the after-minutes of a strigoi attack was not the best approach to request a calm discussion with the Queen. Although these are Guardians, many of them former acquaintances of mine, I still take a protective stance before Vasilisa.

"The Queen is under lockdown," Hans growls. "No one gets in to see her."

Hesitantly, I move out of the way, allowing the tiny Princess to peek out from under my protective arm.

"We need to talk to her. It's important. Literally, life or death. We _have _to get in to see her. _Now._"

The man shows signs of starting to give in, but he manages to hold on. "We cannot permit you to enter, Princess."

The last remainder of fear evaporates from Vasilisa, and she takes on a tone of a royal Moroi.

"We are requesting to see the Queen to save the life, and possibly soul, of a young girl. If you stand in the way of that, then that's no better than murder. So you _will _allow us to see the Queen, understand?"

Now, Hans eyes completely glazed over. After a long moment of silence and steady eye contact, Hans took a small step away from the door, to the other Guardians' shock. The Princess swayed from effort, and I steadied her, gently leading her into the throne room.

Queen Tatiana, looking more frazzled than I have ever seen her, no longer stiff and composed.

She looks up as we enter, jumping at the sound of our footsteps.

"Vasilisa?" she asks, she heavy voice thick with surprise.

Although I was not addressed, I speak anyways. "We need to save Rose," I state confidently.

Tatiana blinks once, what almost looks like..._ guilt..._appearing on her face. "We can't put the Moroi at risk," she replies. "We need as many Guardians as possible here."

"I'll go," I offer, but she only shakes her head.

"Do you know where she is?" I remain silent. "Do you have any idea?" Again, I don't speak. "What city? State? _Country?_" Slowly, so slowly, I shake my head. "Then where do you suggest we start, Mr. Belikov?"

"We can't just leave her," I murmur, my confidence long since fading.

Tatiana sighs, a sound much older than her own age. "Mr. Belikov," she begins. "I have lost many of my dearest friends, today. I have watched as my people were brutally slaughtered. I witnessed a young girl, whom I held a great dislike for, give her own life to protect me. I am trying to treat everyone's needs, I am trying to avoid chaos. I know that you care deeply about Rosemarie, probably much more than a student-teacher relationship, but I cannot help you. I need to protect the people here, before order disintegrates. Do you understand?"

I bite my tongue from any other words that may flow from my mouth. Slowly, so slowly, I nod. Tatiana gives me a dismissive look, and I quickly exit the throne room, Vasilisa in tow.

"What are you doing!" she squeaks, tugging roughly on my arm. "Are you crazy? You're just going to give up?"

I sigh, looking down at the girl, wishing desperately that I could tell her the truth.

"Princess, Vasilisa. She's right. We shouldn't be putting the Moroi in danger."

"_What about Rose!" _she screams at me, tears building in her eyes. "Do you remember her? Or do you not care anymore?"

"Of course I remember. But she wouldn't want-"

Vasilisa roars in anger, a strange sound coming from her. "How the _hell _would you know what she wants? How about we _find _her and then you could ask!"

I refuse to wince at her harsh tone. "Vasilisa, maybe it's time we both move on. Maybe Rose isn't meant to be with us."

Her jaw drops, and she jabs a long, manicured nail into my chest. "How _could you! _You never really did care about her, did you? What was she to you? A _bloodwhore? _You son of a-"

"Lissa?"

We both turn at the sudden voice, our eyes landing on a very shocked Ivashkov.

Vasilisa lets out a gurgled scream and storms past me. Adrian watches her leave, then turns back to me, brow raised.

"What did _you _do?"

...

By the time she figured out that I had lied to her, I hoped to be long gone.

I lean back against the leather, squeezing my eyes shut momentarily before starting the car. _Where would they take her?_Spokane? Perhaps I should start there. Russia? Practically the strigoi capital of the world?

Vasilisa had refused to talk to me, which I suppose I wanted, but it still hurt, nonetheless. Although the rejection stung, I knew it was the only way to prevent Vasilisa from tagging along with me. She needed to be safe, and I needed Rose back.

Driving at night was a dangerous task, but I needed to disappear, and by the time the lights of Court disappeared behind the thick brush, my focus had completely disappeared from the Moroi.

Everything was Rose.

I tried to remember what Rose had told me to "check" the bond. When Vasilisa and Rose had first returned to the academy, and Vasilisa had been constantly tormented by brutally slaughtered animals, Rose had suddenly dashed from practice, me hot on her heels.

Several days later, I had confronted her, asking her about the bond, my curiosity getting the better of me. She had smiled warmly.

_"It's like... leaving yourself behind. Like you're looking for someone... inside your mind. Seeking someone out. Does that make _any _sense?"_

_"Sort of..."_

Now, I pulled over the car, relaxing against the seat, and trying to slip into Rose's head.

I can feel myself growing closer to her, but it's as if I'm not strong enough to actually connect with her.

_Oh God, Roza, where are you?_

I felt fear rolling off of her. She was trying so hard to be brave. I lean my head against the steering wheel, taking in deep breaths, but the bond was still weak. I tried to relax, anxiety would get me no where, but panic was already too set within me.

When I lift my heavy head, I am forced to snap them shut, the bright light beating down. Only seconds ago, it had been night, even for the vampire world, which was currently living on human schedule.

I slowly cracked open my eyes. The world was glowing, a beautiful heavenly shine. I was still sitting in the pitch black Sedan, although it no longer blends into the sky.

Gently, I pull open the car door, wildflowers being pressed under my feet. Wildflowers?

As I step gingerly through the meadow, I come across a rather peculiar... chair.

A simple, sharp-cornered wooden chair. A long strand of rope is wound loosely around the back.

I study the chair, every inch of it. The back of the seat have scratches and deep cuts.

"Dimitri?"

"_Roza?" _

Rose leaps into my arms, her knees bent, her arms tight around my neck.

"Rose? Roza, what are you doing here? Are you alright? Thank God you're alright."

Rose smiles into my neck and quickly presses her against my skin before pulling away. "Hey, Comrade. What are you doing here? This looks kind of like Adrian's dream walking."

I look around. "Adrian had you tied to a chair?" I ask, raising a brow.

She frowns. "_No. _But usually wherever my body is, I leave it behind. I guess it sort of came with me."

"You're tied to a chair?" I roar. "What have they done to you?"

She grabs my face with her thin hands, cradling it softly. "Dimitri, I'm fine, okay? Yes, I'm tied up in a dingy old basement. But I'm alive! I'm okay."

I lean my forehead against her. "Are they hurting you?" Silence. "Rose? _Rose?" _

She sighs and pulls back her sleeves. Burns and bruises litter her wrists and arms, dark spirals lay where her hands were tied. Gently, I run my fingertips over them. "Oh, Roza, I'm so sorry."

She pulls back her arm, letting her sleeves fall back down. "Sorry? For what?"

"For not being able to protect you."

She takes my hand, gently tugging me downwards, until we're both laying in the grass, Rose hovering over me. "It's not you're fault. You can't always protect me."

I grunt. "Apparently, I can't _ever _protect you."

Rose brushes a strand of hair from my face and moves to lay down beside me. "Dimitri, stop it. It's not your fault."

I reach over, brushing my hand over hers. "Where are you, Rose? I'm coming to get you. Please, I can't lose you again."

Turning my head, I can see the smile on Rose's face. "I'm somewhere in Pittsburg, I think."

"You're still in Pennslyvania?"

Rose sighs. "For now. They're planning on taking me out of the country."

I fight back tears. "Roza, what do you see? Do you have any sense of direction? Anything?"

She shakes her head. "No. I don't really remember anything. They slammed on the brakes, and then, like, two minutes later they pulled up at the house. The basement I'm staying has a tiny window, but it's boarded up."

"Did you see the house? What does it look like?"

Rose smiles, her palm gently lifting my jaw. "It's white."

I sigh, disappointed, and lay back down in the grass.

"Hey," Rose questions. "How do you think we're both in this dream at the same time? I mean, unless this is _my _dream, because Adrian's not here..."

"Yeah, actually. I just thought I'd give you two lovebirds some time alone," said a familiar voice from behind us. Rose jumps up.

"Adrian!" She cries, and throws her arms around him. "You're here!"

He smirks. "I can't believe I got both of you to share a dream! I'm _so _going to need a drink tomorrow morning."

Rose laughs and clutches him closer. "And _you, _Belikov, have some serious explaining to do. Liss is up the wall-"

"You _left?_" Rose shrieks.

I wince and turn to face her. "Yes, I left Court. I told you I was coming to get you!"

"But _still! _You left her? Did you tell her that you left?"

"Rose, you know I couldn't. She'd demand to come with me."

"I can't believe you didn't tell her! What the hell?"

"What, because you've never withheld information from her?"

"That's different! She's stressed enough with everything that's been going on!"

"Yes, but-"

"My God! You two fight like a married couple. Don't _make _me end this dream!" Adrian calls above our bickering. "Now, where are you?"

Rose gave him the speech she gave to me.

"Rose, Lissa's losing it. You don't remember anything? Nothing of use?"

I sigh. "She said the house was white. And it's somewhere in Pittsburg."

Adrian gives her a dry, desperate look. "That's _it?_" He asks.

"Hey! I was _blindfolded! _Not my fault!" Rose defends. I place a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Roza, I _will _find you." I kiss her forehead. "I think you're waking up."

Her form had become transluscent and blurry. "Hold on, Rose. Don't let go. I love you."

And she was gone. A horrible, crushing feeling of loss settles over me. Slowly, I turn back to Adrian.

He looks to either side before letting out a whistle, his casual exterior not quite hiding the concern in his eyes. "Well... I believe you're waking up too, Belikov. Hope you're not driving."


	43. Brown Shag Carpet

**Please review, you guys!**

**

* * *

**_Pittsburg. Pittsburg. White house. _They're all white.

I had been driving for countless hours, my eyes heavy, my thoughts burdened. Rose had to be safe. I couldn't bear to think what was happening to her.

When you were loosing someone, was it abnormal to have your time spent together flash before your eyes? Or was it just because you were unable to admit to yourself that you have to let go?

My cell phone vibrates on the dashboard, and, with great hesitation, I pull into a parking lot and answer, holding it to my ear.

"Belikov."

"Dimitri Viktor Belikov! What the heck were you _thinking?_"

I mentally grown. _Great. _

"Hello, Tasha."

She growls. "Do you care to tell me _why _you ran off so suddenly? Are you crazy? Did you even think about Lissa? She's worried sick, and guilty as hell. She said you had a fight before you left!"

I sigh loudly, unbuckling my seat belt. "Tasha, I have to find Rose. Vasilisa wants that, Janine wants that, _I _want that. Too many people will be destroyed if something happens to her."

"And what about _you?" _cries Tasha. "What about your sisters? They love you, Dimitri! And Paul! You're his _hero! _He trains every _single _day just so he can be as good as his 'Uncle Dimka!' And _Olena! _God Dimitri, she stays at home, just waiting for your phone calls! She would fall apart, Dimitri, and you know it. She's a strong woman, but on the inside she'll die, don't _do _this to her! I know Vasilisa will miss Rose..."

"_Miss? _What about the bond? What happens when the bond is severed? Vasilisa mental health is at stake!"

I can hear as Tasha grinds her teeth. "They don't _always _come first, Dimitri. Sometimes, you have to think of yourself."

"I am," I answer confidently. "I am thinking of myself. And I _know _that I would give my life rather than see anything happen to Rose."

She sobs. "Don't do this."

"I'm sorry, Tasha. But just this once, I'm thinking of myself."

"No, you're thinking of Rose!"

_Don't I always? "_Please, Dimka, come back to me. I love you."

And the line goes dead.

I resist the urge to cry myself, set the car into Drive, and pull away from the parking lot.

...

_White house... white house... white house..._

This was hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. I was going to lose her forever. I'd never see her again.

_Stop it! _I tell myself. _Just stop it. You can find her. Rose has always had faith in you. She believes you can do anything, don't let her down._

And that almost made the pressure intensify. She _trusted _me. My mind screamed for her, and I could feel her stress through the bond. _Oh, Roza. _

Once again, I tried to slip into her head, but nothing was working.

Suddenly, a car sped around the corner, appearing from no where behind a sharp curve in the road, and my foot crushes the brake pedal, screeching to a stop. What the hell?

_"They slammed on the brake, and two minutes later, they pulled up at the house."_

_Rose. _I breathe deeply and inch the car forward, searching the streets. After several moments, a small, tucked away white house appears between the pines. I drive another few blocks before parking and quickly walking back, my heart pounding to the rhythm of my footsteps.

_"The basement I'm staying has a tiny window, but it's boarded up."_

I creep around the place, that familiar feeling of... unease... settling through me. I drop and crawl under the window, coming up to a miniscule, rectangular pane of glass poised barely above the ground.

And it was entirely shaded in with wooden boards.

...

I breathe heavily, trying to control my heart rate. I am pressed against the wall beside the front window. I gently pick at the lock, but it won't budge. I pull the switchblade from my pocket, and begin the carve into the window.

When enough of the wood is whittled away, the metal lock is revealed, and I carefully stick the point of the knife into it, flicking it upwards.

The house is absolutely silent, and I pray that I was not heard while entering.

My shoes sink into the brown, shaggy carpet, and I slip through hallways and rooms, checking each door for a staircase down to the basement.

The door happens to be the oldest, and the loudest, and screams in protest as I open it. But after several moments, and no footsteps, I press myself against the drywall, slowly making my way down.

Unfortunately, there is another door that blocks me from Rose, and, as always, it's locked.

_Nothing can ever be easy for me, can it?_

I quietly slipped my driver's license out of my wallet, ignoring the memories it brought out.

_"It looks like a mug shot!" she teased, waving the plastic in front of my face. "Don't you ever smile?"_

_"You make me smile," I reply, but she ignores my comment, although something sweet flashes in her eyes._

_"Dimitri Belikov, convicted badass cowboy! Dun Dun Duhhh!"_

_"Yes, but this allows me to drive. Can you drive?" I laugh. "Didn't think so."_

Shaking my head, I shove the thin card into the crack of the door, hearing the familiar click.

I push the door open in front of me, waiting one, two, three seconds before stepping into the black hallway. I cannot hear anything, but something is off, so off, but all I care about is getting to Rose, wrapping my arms around her and never letting her out of my sight.

That is, until, I hear a whizzing sound before the blunt object connects with the back of my head, and I crash to the soft carpet.

* * *

**I think I love writing these Dimitri/Rose moments... Perhaps I should start a collection of one-shots... Lol**

**Please review!**


	44. Saving You

**I'm updating faster! I don't own VA**

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My head pounds with a fiery passion, but my memory slowly comes back, and I groan. I want Rose, my Roza.

Slowly, my eyes crack open, the fuzzy picture slowly resolving, the swimming world coming together.

A body.

Eyes wide, face tortured, like he's died a slow and horribly painful death. His face is pale, the unnatural shade of the deceased, blood pools underneath..._him. _

I cry out in surprise, shoving myself off the the floor, instantly snapping my mouth shut, repressing a whimper. _That could have been Rose_. I hastily look around, and see a dark figure crouched before me.

I quickly root for my stake, but it's gone, removed from my pocket.

"Shhh," the voice soothes. "It's okay, everything's okay. I'm right here."

A warm hand presses against my heaving chest, and I cover the long, slender fingers with my own. "Roza?"

Her hands slip under my jaw, stroking my cheek. "Dimitri, it's alright."

Even with my intensified vision, I can't see a thing, but my imagination is wicked, producing the image of Rose, her eyes ringed in blood, her lips turned into a cruel and hungry smile.

I slide my hand up the wall, groping for the switch. My hand hits the plastic and I push up, a stunningly bright light blinding us both.

I regain my sight before Rose does, rubbing her eyes furiously.

"Rose, Roza, love, please look at me."

Although she squints, I can see the warm liquid brown. I can't help it. I throw myself at her, tugging her against me and kissing every inch of her face. Rose hands slip onto my shoulders, and she folds her arms around my neck.

"Dimitri, I'm okay! Relax, would you?"

"Relax?" I say incredulously in the moments when my lips are not pressed against her skin. "You could have been killed! You could have been turned! You could have been _tortured _and you're telling me to relax?"

_Tortured. _"Roza, how are your arms?" I ask, remembering the scars and burns she displayed during the dream walk. She holds them out, another round of fresh cuts scattering her skin.

I kiss each wrist before standing shakily, pulling her up with me. "I assume you killed the strigoi?" I ask, gazing down at the body. Rose nods before sliding her arms around my waist, under my leather jacket, and leaning her temple against my chest. My hands rest on her lower back.

"I'm sorry about knocking you unconcious," Rose whispers, "I thought you were strigoi when I heard footsteps." And I laugh.

"Roza, this wouldn't be the first time you've given me a head ache."

She smiles and cuddles further into my chest.

"Besides, Rose, I should have known better. You've never needed me to come rescue you. Or any other man, really."

"I'm still glad you're here," she murmurs softly, her eyes trained on the body at our feet.

"Roza, we have to go."

She shakes her head. "Dimitri, he's got a sharpened chair leg in his chest. It won't last long."

Always feeling guilty, I crouch and slip my stake into the man's chest, before sliding my hand into hers.

"Are you okay?"

She nods again, gently letting me lead her up the staircase.

"Well well well. What do we have here?"

We freeze at the top of the stairs. I step defensively in front of Rose, shielding her body from the strigoi before her.

Big mistake.

I hear a muffled cry, and I spin, to see Rose pulled back down the stairs, a hand clapped over her mouth.

"Roza!"

Rose struggles against the strigoi, but he holds her fast.

"Don't move," says the woman from behind me. "Or your girlfriend will suffer."

Slowly, I raise my hands.

"Take out your stake," she demands, and I slide it out of my pocket and drop it to the ground.

"Dimitri, no," Rose whimpers.

I turn back to the smirking strigoi. _Oh God, oh God oh God. _

Sonya Karp.

I can hear Rose squeak behind me.

"Sonya?" I breathe.

Hands on her hips, Sonya rolls her eyes. Her face is pale and frigid, but still holds the physical beauty that Mikhail had always spoken about, had always admired.

"Let her go," I say confidently. "Take me, let her leave."

"No!"

But one look from me silences her.

Sonya's smirk intensifies. "Sorry, but she knows where we are. Can't let her go and send the Guardians after us, can we?"

"Don't hurt her," I growl. "Let. Her. Go."

She doesn't answer me, but steps forward and grabs my arms, jerking them behind me. "Don't fight."

They lead us back down into the basement, stepping over bodies, and shove us into the room.

They tie our hands tightly behind our backs and throw us onto the ground. They quickly search our pockets, cleaning out my wallet, my keys, my switchblade, and my phone.

"We'll be back," he hisses, and slams the door shut behind him.

There are no doors, no furniture, nothing. The room is stark and bare, the strigoi obviously have learned from their past mistakes with the wooden chair.

Rose sniffs, and I turn to her surprise. "Roza?"

"I'm so sorry!" she sobs. "This is all my fault. I forgot about the other strigoi! I'm so sorry! Oh, Dimitri you're going to die too and it's all my fault!"

I crawl over to her, shuffling on my knees. "Shh, it's alright."

I kiss her forehead, wanting so badly to be able to wrap my arms around her. "Hey, we'll get out of this.

"I can't believe that's Ms. Karp! She looks so different."

I nod. _Please don't let this be a sign. _"Poor Mikhail. Searched for her for years. I'm glad he didn't see her like this."

Rose wipes her tears on the shoulder of her shirt. "Guardian Tanner? Where is he now?"

I sigh. "Royal Court. He's working lesser jobs for having 'abandoned his Guardian duties.'"

Rose sniffs loudly. "That will be you," she whispers. "If you get out of this. You'll be forced into some stupid office job. You'll go crazy!"

I shake my head. "Not if you're there. I can live with everything if I can be with you."

She leans against my shoulder, breathing heavily. "You should have gone to guard Tasha," she murmurs. "Then, you would be with her, and you would be safe."

I sigh. "Rose, Tasha Ozera would not have solved all of my problems. Guarding her would not have changed how I felt about you. If I was guarding her, I would have still left to come and find you, to save you. I came here because I love you, and always will."

Rose smiles through her tears, and sinks against me.

"I'm starving," she admits, and I sigh, kissing her temple.

"I wish I had something for you, Roza."

She shifts against my chest. "Go to sleep, Roza."

She shakes her head. "No, I can't."

But in a matter of minutes, her breathing deepens.

Although I promised I wouldn't, my eyes drift closed, my mind finally at peace with Rose laying on my chest.

...

The door slams open, revealing a pack of pale-faced strigoi.

"How are we doing, this morning?" Sonya, stepping towards us, twirling my switchblade in her undead hands.

"What do you want?" I demand, sounding braver than I felt. "What is it that you're hoping to get? Information on what?"

The man behind her smirks, a smirk I wished I could punch off of his face. "Spirit magic," he hisses. "If she can get turned back, we must prevent it from happening to others. It could endanger our entire race."

Rose struggles against the ties on her wrists. "You're not a _race. _You're a mutated species!"

The strigoi strikes her hard across the face. "Quiet, girl. The grown-ups are talking."

"Don't _touch her!" _I roar. "Do whatever you want with me! _Kill me. _Just let her go! She doesn't know anything about it! I'm the one who _saw _it happen! I'm the one who witnessed it!"

"No!"

Sonya rolls her eyes. "My my, Belikov, you _would_ fall for your student. I always knew that your lack of..._intimate relationships..._ would get to you."

"What would Mikhail say," I reply. "If he saw you like this?"

She smirked again, although something in her eyes changed. "What would you possibly know about that? Besides, that was a _long _time ago."

"Two years!" Rose interrupts. "Two years is not a long time! Not at all! Not to forget about someone you loved, you soulless bi-"

"Rose!" I scold. "He was a good friend of mine."

Sonya's eyes narrow, ignoring my comment. "Shut up, Rosemarie, you don't know what you're talking about!"

"Do I not? I know about Spirit, though. I know how _crazy _it makes you. But you know what? I know people who can handle it! Who don't take the coward's way out and go running off the join the undead army of darkne-"

Sonya screams and lashes out, the switchblade burying itself in the drywall as Rose tilts out of the way. She falls onto her back, bringing her tied hands over her feet to the front of her body, and slices the rope against the switchblade.

All in a manner of seconds.

She kicks out, Sonya being pushed against the far wall, giving Rose enough surprise/reaction time to jerk the knife out of the wall and into my own wrist ties.

The rope snaps, and I jump up, kicking down the strigoi who stand at the door.

"Rose, get the stake!" I demand, avoiding a flying punch from before me. Rose climbs out the door without hesitation, leaving me to fend for myself.

I back up into the corner. Although being 'cornered' was not technically a good thing, at least it significantly reduced the amount of sides I could be killed from. At least this way, I was only watching my front.

I narrowly avoid getting slaughtered on a few counts, but when Rose appears at the doorway, stake glinting in hand, as well as the wooden chair leg, relief over-whelms me.

We fight as a team, Rose managing to cut stake the strigoi, while I distract. Although I've killed many before, I cannot bring myself to kill Sonya, the love of Mikhail's life.

Sonya lunges at me, and I stake her easily with the makeshift, wooden stake, her Moroi upbringings shielding her from any real training. Rose sits beside her.

"Ms. Karp..." she whispers, tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Roza, we have to go."

I pull her upwards, letting her lean on me for support, and we both rush up the stairs. The windows of the house are all shaded with night.

"Well well well, what do we have here?"

I quickly push Rose behind me. I can feel fear from the bond. _This _is the man who hurt her, who sliced and scorched her arms. He would pay.

"Don't touch her," I growl.

"Already did," he smirked. "Quiet, though. Not doing us much for information. Can do whatever we want and she doesn't say a thing."

_That's my Roza. _I thrust my fist outwards, striking again and again, each punch being shoved aside my his own arm, myself moving forward, him moving back. The strigoi hits the wall, and I thrust out, him spinning away and my fist going through the dry wall.

"She must pay, you know. She's killed our leader, she's been one of us, betrayed us. She's a danger, and she'll suffer for what she's done. She's obviously killed Sonya, the others."

I duck as his own punch is thrust towards my head. I rapidly pull my fist out of the wall, my elbow slamming into his nose. I lower my arm and jerk my elbow twice into his gut.

"What do you care about Sonya?" I pant.

"Won't be discussing my love life with a lowly Dhampir."

He slashes his nails against my cheek, and I refrain from wincing. I can hear a gasp from behind, and immediately turn to Rose, who sits, cowering against the far wall. Instantly, I feel a sharp blow to the head, and he grabs my hair and throws me against the wall, his hands pressing into my neck.

I choke and fight, but he tightens his grip, until I can no longer breathe. I can feel myself start to sink.

"Dimitri!" Rose screams. I want to tell her to run, to escape, anything, but I cannot. But Rose, being Rose, doesn't give up without a fight. I watch helplessly over his shoulder as she runs and attacks, weaponless, and jumps onto his back, clawing at him.

The strigoi hisses and grabs her long, dark hair, twisting it around his fingers and throwing her to the ground.

"Don't touch her!" I scream, leaping on top of him, jerking him away from Rose. I fall down onto the floor, shielding her body with my own. Before I can even react he is upon me again, hands around my neck.

He gives me a sick smile before jerking his arms ever so slightly.

I can feel as my neck twists too far behind me, I can hear the snap of spinal cord, but I am dead before I can feel the pain.

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**Have mercy! *cowers***

**I'm sorry! But it makes for the perfect sad ending, wouldn't you agree? Don't you think it shows how much he truely loved her? Rose will still love him, even if he's gone, don't you think? I think it's the perfect ending, but I'm sure I'll get a few threatening reviews! Lol **

**Stick around! It's not over yet! The next chapter will be in a different POV for obvious reasons!**

**I gaze you a long chapter to make up for it! I think I'm nearing the end, you guys! Couple of chapters left! Please review!**


	45. Grieving

**I don't own VA people! (obviously)**

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Adrian's Point of View:

I tap my foot against the ground, impatient. Liss stands beside me, tears staining her cheek. She's been like this ever since she's heard about Belikov.

I sigh. Belikov.

It's been less than twenty-fours since Rose called me, absolutely hysterical, screaming and sobbing, telling me he had died. Although we had never really been together, I still felt a deep throb in my gut when I think of what she had seen. Belikov, his neck broken, just like Mason. From what I had heard, it wasn't a pretty picture. And Rose had picked herself up off of the ground and shoved her stake into the strigoi's chest. Eleven times. Bruised and twisted, I wondered if Belikov even resembled himself. I hoped she would remember him as he was, not how he ended up.

She was Belikov's. She always had been, she always would be.

Yes, I did have feelings for her. What can I say, I was a better man with her, but I knew when a girl wasn't interested, and maybe, someday, she would heal enough to give me a shot.

Not likely.

It was an odd feeling. I had never really felt anything but lust towards a girl, but with Rose, it was different, deeper, although not nearly as deep as what Belikov felt. He just jumped on top of her, instinctively, and saved her life. I wonder if I was in that situation, no matter how much I cared, could I have done that without hesitation?

I had heard about the phone call to the Belikovs, too, of the chaos, the sobbing. I could never imagine my own family reacting like that, and it just showed how people thought of him. He was a hero to his family, a true protector. A guardian.

The black SUV pulls up, and Lissa jumps to her feet.

The site before me makes me physically sick. Rose looks like she has lost her soul herself, her eyes completely dead, her face expressionless. She may have lost her soul to the strigoi, but she lost her heart with Belikov.

Janine has her arms around her daughter, leading her across the tarmack.

Lissa hugs Rose so tightly I think she'll break, but Rose simply pats her on the forearm, staring straight ahead.

"Rose! Oh I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Rose's eyes glimmer with hope, and she feverishly grabs hold of Lissa. "You can save him," she whispers. "You can heal him! You can save him!"

But she shakes her head. "Rose, he's been dead for too long. I'm sorry, but I can't. And with the whole Avery thing... Rose I just can't."

Avery Lazar. I had almost forgotten about her. She had finally lost it, using all the compulsion she had trying to get Lissa. Liss had completely blown off her friends, too distracted with Rose. I hate to think what would have happened had Lissa not distanced herself.

Rose frowns, looking absolutely heartbroken. "I can't believe you wouldn't do this for me."

"Rose-"

But Rose stumbles back, refusing to be near her. "No! Don't."

I turn to Janine. "How is she?"

Janine sighs. "It's worse than with Mason. She was just... frozen. Like something inside of her died." She breathes deeply, as if trying to fight tears. "She's eighteen. This shouldn't have happened to her. She's too young. And she's already been through so much."

Another guardian steps out, and Rose spits out, "Guardian Tanner?" and throws herself into his arms. Does she just have a thing for Guardians, or what?

They talk softly, Tanner looking quite surprised, but his eyes holding obvious respect for Belikov. But when Rose grabs his shoulders, his eyes go wide, and he talks feverishly, nodding constantly. Tanner smiles, a painful smile, and dashes away, back towards the gates of Court.

Although I must admit, I'm incredibly lost, when I feel as though it's my turn, I step forward, bringing her into my arms.

"Shh, Rose, it's going to be okay."

"He's dead," she says simply, emotionlessly.

"I know, but we both know he's much happier where he is now than he ever would have been if something happened to you. You were the air he breathed, Rose."

She doesn't breathe, doesn't blink. "And I pushed him away. And now he's dead." She inhales a shaky breath. "The strigoi attacked me, and I lost my grip on my stake. And now he's dead. He told me he loved me. And I didn't say it back."

I sigh, kissing the top of her head. "But he knew, Rose. He always knew."

Slowly, she leans against me. "I can't live without him."

I pull away to look into her matted eyes. "But you have to. He would have wanted you to."

A single tear escapes her eye, and she quickly brushes it away. "I am so sick of past tense. Want_ed. _Would have. It can't be in the past if I think about him for the rest of my life."

They pull the stretcher out of the back of another car, his tall, freakishly muscular figure shadowed by a thin, gauzy sheet. Rose whimpers.

"I love you, Dimitri," she says quietly, watching as the stretcher gets pulled away. "I'm so sorry."

I squeeze her shoulder reassuringly. "I want to go see him," she tells me bluntly, and begins to walk towards him.

"No, Rose, you don't want to see that. Honey, it's not him anymore. That's just a body. What makes Dimitri Dimitri is gone."

She jerks her arm away, eyes blazing in fiery passion. "I want to tell him I love him! I have to say it to his face!" she cries.

The guardians try to stop her, but she pushes past them, shoving them out of the way. And, for contrast, she ever so gently peels the sheet away from his face.

His eyes are open, unblinking, his neck horribly bruised, with long, finger-like streaks of purple trailing across. The skin has been stretched and torn. Even now, I can tell he hasn't slept in ages, his face heavy with burden. But his lips, the corners are almost turned up in a morbid smile, like he _knows _he saved her, like he knew she was going to live.

Rose strokes his cold, colourless cheek, her thumbs gently closing his lids. "I love you," she murmurs to him. "I always will love you. I'm sorry I didn't get to tell you that while you were alive. I was scared, even though I knew it would make you happy." She sighs. "I would have loved to see your face when I told you."

I squeeze my eyes shut. "Rose, it's time to say good bye."

She nods, leans down, and kisses his cheek. "I'll never forget you, what you did for me. Thank you."

Lissa appears behind her, resting her hand on Rose's shoulder. Rose moves aside, and Lissa places her hands on Belikov's chest.

"Lissa," I warn, but both she and Rose shoot me a look, and I shut up.

I can see the colour drain from Liss's face, but I see no change in Belikov.

"It's not working..." she whispers.

Lissa sighs and tries again, but she begins to sway, and I gingerly pull her away.

"Lissa, what are you doing?" I whisper, but she only shakes her head.

"I can't lose her. She would have hated me if I just let him go," she explains, turning back to Rose. "I tried. I'm so sorry," she whispers, and Rose allows herself to be folded into her friend's arms.

I step forward, looking down at him. Once so intimidating, now he looks so small.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. The man's a fricking giant.

"Uh, I guess this is goodbye, Belikov. I'm sorry about your family, man. Thanks, for what you did for Rose. She'll never get over you. She'll keep you alive, don't worry. She'll never stop talking about you."

For one final goodbye, I grab his limp hand, a lonely hand shake. "You'll always be her hero, Dimitri."

I feel tears building up in my own eyes, and I squeeze them shut, praying that I didn't cry. I didn't even particularly like the guy, but he was a brave man, a Guardian until the end.

"Ivashkov? Are you _crying?_"

My eyes snap open to meet... _Oh God!_

"Where's Roza?"

I stare down at our hands, colour leaking in from my palm to his, life flowing like liquid.

Well, shit.

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**Just for the record, I did not change this story to suit your comments. I had this chapter _fully _completed before I even posted the last one.**

**I have gotten some particularly _mean _reviews and comments on the previous chapter! I told you it wasn't over, but some people still felt the need to tell me that I had ruined my own story, amoung other things.**

**Please reviews! I'd appreciate some nice ones...**

**And for all those nasty reviewers, I hope you feel guilty ;)**


	46. Epilogue

"Close your eyes."

"Does that help?"

"Yeah. Now close your eyes."

"Okay... It seems a bit stereotypical, though."

"Stereotypical of _what?_"

I sigh. "Nevermind."

"Good, now shut up and close your damn eyes."

Rose and I sit sprawled across the couch, my knees bent, Rose resting between them, laying her head on my chest. After everything that's happened, I can't believe she's mine.

I close my eyes peacefully, kissing the top of her head. "Okay, my eyes are closed."

"Good. Now, just imagine yourself... seperate. Like you're far away from him. Mentally."

I use every trick Rose has taught me, pulling away, building imaginary walls.

"It's not working."

"That's because you're not concentrating. Focus."

I can't help but laugh. "That _is _irritating. It's a wonder you were able to put up with me and all of those practices.

Rose laughs. "It was worth it, believe me."

I feel pressure against my lips, and before I can respond, I hear the door slam open.

I crack my eyes open to see Adrian enter the room, his surprise obvious at the scene before him. "Ah! My virgin eyes!"

I scoff. "Ah. My bondmate. And _virgin _eyes, who are you trying to kid?"

Adrian smiles, lifting up Rose's legs, and settling on the couch, letting her feet rest in his lap. He casually stretches his arms over the back of the couch and sighs.

"I suppose you have a point."

"Suppose? Why do you think I'm attempting to block you out? I can barely sleep at night due to your romantic escapades."

He raises his brows and winks. "Romance has nothing to do with it."

Rose groans. "Would you like anything to drink, Adrian?"

He opens his mouth, but I interrupt. "No, he's fine."

They both smile. "Trust me," I say. "I can _sense _it."

Roza laughs and kisses my cheek. "Of course you can."

For a brief second, I feel the flash of..._longing. _Longing and jealousy. But just as soon as it comes, it disappears, and Adrian's lazy grin returns to his face.

"You could have at least had the decency to _knock_," I point out, trying to change the subject.

"Hey, what's mine, is yours, Bondy. And vice versa."

I roll my eyes. Bondy. I hate that nickname.

Rose, sensing our kindling arguement, pats my knee and rises off of the couch. "Well, I'm just going to bring you sodas. Is that alright?"

Adrian and I both nod, watching Rose disappear into the kitchen. He stares off, although she is gone from view.

"She's starting to know your apartment better than you, Belikov."

I smile. Rose knew where practically all of the contents of my kitchen, often scolding me on my lack of 'real food,' and lecturing me on how unhealthy I was.

"She's got half of her wardrobe here, as well," I state, concluding my thoughts.

Rose comes back out of the kitchen, setting down the bottles of soda and sitting down beside me, her hand resting on my knee. "Which pretty much consists of a sweater and my athletic clothing."

"Sounds like Dimitri's _entire _wardrobe," Adrian snorts, earning a laugh from Rose and a glare from me. My style choice was another thing that Rose teased me about, telling me I didn't have enough formal clothing.

_It's not like we go anywhere, _I would argue.

_Maybe we would if you had something nice, _she would reply.

Adrian smirks and gazes around, shifting on the couch.

"Speaking of _barren,_" he says suddenly, causing me to brace myself for his next comment. "What is up with your apartment, man? You look like you could pack up and move in two seconds. It's been three weeks."

Three weeks. Three weeks since I had died. Had it really been only three weeks?

_My head was pounding, my throat dry, my whole body screamed in pain, as if my veins had been shrunken, as if blood had stopped flowing to my limbs. When I cracked open my eyes, I could only see Adrian Ivashkov above me, his cheeks flushed with tears. _

_I must have spoken, because his face went pale white, and he collapsed onto the pavement. _

_"Ivashkov?" I jumped off of the stretcher to assist him, but ended up sprawled onto the ground myself. My legs are liquid, and I cannot find the energy to rise. _

_"Dimitri? Oh God, **Dimitri?"**_

_Rose is instantly there, gripping onto my jaw, looking deep into my eyes. When she was satisfied, she forced her lips onto mine, kissing me so deeply, I was sure it would bruise. She knelt beside me, sitting in my lap, refusing to let me pull away. _

_When I finally gasped out, gulping in air, she moves to my cheek and down my neck, pressing her lips against every inch of my skin. _

_"How are you alive? I saw you die. You were dead, you didn't have a pulse," she sobs between kisses. _

_"Roza? Roza, shh it's alright, Hon-" But before I can finish, Rose is pulled off of me. _

_"Dimitri!" she screams, kicking and fighting her restraints. "No! Please!"_

_I am immediately pulled to my feet and layed back down onto the stretcher. I am taken to the infirmary, being continuously poked and prodded, my pulse checked, double checked, my tempterature taken. They hook me up to an IV, stating that I was severely dehydrated, but otherwise fine, and told me to sleep. _

_And, for the second time, I awaken to see Adrian, sitting in the armchair, looking exhausted. He was drunk, obviously so, and gave me a tired smile. _

_"You're up."_

_I nod. "Yeah. What is going on?"_

_"What do you remember?"_

_I close my eyes, feeling nauseous. "I remember... Oh God I remember...dying. And then I remember waking up, and you were standing over me. Crying."_

_He rolls his eyes, but gives me another smile. "Yeah, you died."_

_"So how am I here? Unless..." My eyes widen in understanding. "You didn't..."_

_He nods. "'Fraid so. Sorry, Belikov, but you should have seen her. She was falling apart."_

_"Why can I not feel what you're feeling? Do we have a bond?"_

_Adrian waves the bottle in his hand, taking another deep sip. "That would probably be my fault. Alcohol numbs the bond. Probably should have held off, but I've been having some pretty heavy bouts of depression."_

_He stands up, staggers to the door. "See ya 'round, Bondy."_

_Next up is Janine, second in the parade through my room. "How are you feeling, Guardian Belikov?"_

_I freeze, shocked to see _her_ here. "Fine. Is everything alright, Guardian Hathaway?"_

_"My daughter seemed... very upset... about what happened to you," she states bluntly, forwardly, as if I expected anything else._

_I nod. "We were... close... when I mentored her. We're friends now, and-"_

_She sighs loudly and crosses her arms. "Friends? I don't think so. And from what I've heard, you two have been distant. I will not have my daughter get hurt if you have decided-"_

_"Decided? Guardian Hathaway, I assure you, I have not by any means _tried _to distance myself. Believe me, I've practically been pestering her just to _look _at me."_

_To my surprise Janine smiles and sits on the end of my bed. "That's why you left, isn't it? To find her, to free her soul."_

_I nod, not having the energy to weave a lie. "Yes. I couldn't let her live like that. I... I love her too much," I blurt out, knowing I'll regret that once the fog of medication wears away._

_Janine smiles again. "I suppose I should thank you, then. I know I haven't been here, much, for Rose's life. But I am still protective of her, and I won't stand to see her hurt. She's been through enough."_

_"Guardian Hathaway, I know. I want to protect her, as well. You don't need to worry. I promise."_

_She nods and pats my leg, rising off of the bed. _

_"How is she?" I blurt out, wondering why she hasn't come to visit me, and afraid of the answer. _

_Janine sighs. "We're trying to calm her down, make sure she's eating before she comes and plants herself at your bedside. It doesn't seem to be working."_

_Smiling, I say, "Please, let her in. I'll make sure she eats, she won't be so stressed."_

_Janine nods. "Well, good luck. She's been on the edge of hysteria for hours, just waiting. The doctors were afraid she would try to wake you if left alone."_

_"Please send her in," I beg, needing to see her._

_After a few minutes of silence, the door slams open and Rose jumps into my arms. I grunt from the force._

_Her friends monitor her, gently trying to pry her away. She is shaking as they force her into the chair. _

_"Please," she begs, clutching my hand. "Please give me some time alone with him."_

_Vasilisa nods. "Rose, you have to be careful, okay? You remember how fragile you were after the accident."_

_Rose nods, and Vasilisa, Janine, Eddie, and Christian walk out of the room. _

_Now, Rose is squeezing my hand so tightly, I try to repress a wince. She catches it. _

_"I'm so sorry!" she squeaks, immediately letting go of my hand. "I don't know what to say! I'm so sorry! I've been trying to come and see you, but they wouldn't let me, and I... I just..."_

_I shake my head, and lay back on my side, watching her stare at me with longing. _

_"Roza," I whisper. "Ignore them. Come here." And I pat the space beside me. _

_Rose smiles and jumps up, only to gingerly sit down on the side of my bed._

_"Dimitri, I don't know what to do. I'm so glad you're here, that you're okay. Oh God, I thought I had lost you."_

_"Roza," I say, and wrap my arms around her waist, dragging her down into the bed beside me. Her control seems to break, and she twists around, wrapping her arms around me. She sobs into my neck, pressing closer, murmuring apologies._

_I pull her tight against me, stroking her hair, rubbing circles into her back, anything, but she is still shaking. Finally, I turn, pulling her up so she lays on my chest._

_"I thought you were dead. I thought I was going to have to live without you. And without ever getting to say I love you." She pushes herself up. "I love you, Dimitri."_

"Seriously, when are you going to unpack?" Adrian asks, snapping me back to reality.

"Uh.." I say rudely, lost in the conversation.

"I _said, _when are you going to unpack your stuff? It's been three weeks and everything's still in boxes."

I sigh, wrapping my arms around Rose's waist. She swivels her head to look at me, shooting me a _Are you okay? _look. I smile and nod.

"I'll unpack eventually," I promise. "I just haven't gotten around to it. It's been a busy few weeks."

And that was true. Between the moving, the medical appointments, and the Royal 'assessments', I had no time, and no energy, to do something as trivial as unpack.

"Hey, at least this apartment's nicer."

I roll my eyes. "I was perfectly content with my _old _apartment, except I had to move across Court so I was closer to my _charge_."

Adrian smiles cockily. "Hey, I don't want to go gallavanting off to find my Guardian when I need him."

"Need me? When do you possibly need me?" I shoot back. I've always acted very formal towards those I was to protect, but Adrian was a different category altogether.

"Of course I need you. Who else is going to drag me out of the bar when I'm falling all over myself?"

I snort. "You don't need me, you need a miracle."

"Boys..." Rose warns. "Besides, Adrian, you don't need to drink anymore, you won't be affected by the darkness."

Adrian shrugs. "So? I don't drink 'cause I have to, I drink 'cause I like it."

I snort again. "Then go and drink yourself into a stupor." I stand up and motion to the door. "Out."

Adrian rises, holding up his hands like a surrender. "Alright, alright. But you are meeting us at the restaurant tonight, right?"

_Us _referred to Vasilisa and Christian, as well as, of course, Adrian. "Yes, we will. Now, goodbye."

When the door clicks shut, I turn to face Rose.

"That was a little harsh," she scolds playfully.

"You say that, yet you aren't forced to be with him twenty-four hours a day."

She sighs, taking my hand. I feel the heat creep into my wrist, up into my forearm, and smile. With a generous tug, I pull her back onto the couch, resting my cheek on the crown of her head.

"We should probably start to get ready," she mumbles.

"We have plenty of time," I state. I often wondered if Rose felt awkward about me, about being with me. She wouldn't stay over at my apartment, yet, and would sometimes seem distant while we were alone together.

"Roza, is something wrong?" I ask. I can feel her tense, but she doesn't turn.

"Dimitri, I ruined your reputation, then had the nerve to tell you that I didn't appreciate everything you'd done for me, and _then _I got you killed. And now we're sitting here and I... I'm waiting for something bad to happen."

I wrap my arms around her waist. "Bad? What do you mean?"

She sighs. "It was like... like we were being punished for falling in love. And now things are... pretty much perfect... and I am just waiting for something horrible to happen."

_Oh, Rose. _"You're right," I whisper. "But the only bad thing that will happen is that Adrian will somehow manage to seduce another innocent, yooung girl and they'll unintentionally invite me to watch them go at it like rabbits."

Rose snorts and leans back against me.

"Roza, don't worry. Nothing is going to happen."

"You say that _now..._"

"Hush." I rise up off of the mismatched sofa. "Now, we're meeting Christian and Vasilisa in a half-hour. We probably begin to get ready."

I quickly dress and when I step out of the bathroom, Rose is already finished. I wait for her comment, of how my sweater and jacket makes me look like a cowboy, or nerd, or Freddy Krueger, but the snide remark doesn't come.

She lays down on the bed, hands folded beneath her head, staring up at the ceiling. She has a slightly whimsical grin on her lips. Confused, I decide to lay down beside her, staring up at the stark while paint as if we are cloud-gazing.

"Is something wrong?" I question.

Rose doesn't reply to my words. "Dimitri? Do you ever miss being single? Do you ever miss being back at the academy, when you never had to worry about me and didn't have to even think about balancing your job?"

"No," I reply in a heartbeat, blurting out my response. "I do admit, the stress you've caused me really has taken it's toll, but it's worth it."

She turns to face me. Her face isn't one of pain or tears, but of simple, innocent curiousity. "Really? But you would still be a well-respected Guardian, and..."

I nod, wondering what has sparked her odd mood. She's not sad, or even remotely depressed. Her voice is plain and shallow, no hidden motive. "Rose, I suppose you never really had a chance to understand, but after a few years of guarding, you find yourself lonely. I was close friends with Ivan, but I hardly interacted with him while guarding him. You become isolated.

I don't miss being back at the academy because there was nothing to miss. Coming home to an empty apartment after a long day at work, having to make dinner for myself, having to eat in silence, live in silence. Getting into a cold bed alone every night. There's no element that I miss. Now, if I come home utterly exhausted, you offer to make dinner, or rub my back, or just talk. I don't miss the silence, Rose, it gets overwhelming at times."

Suddenly feeling curious myself, I ask: "Why? Do you want to live free for a while? Without being _tied down?" _

When Rose shifts on the bed, I grow panicked. "Rose?-"

"No, Dimitri, I'm not planning on leaving you and going gallavanting off and becoming a blood whore. I don't know, it sometimes feels like this can't possibly be it, you know? Like as long as I've known you, we couldn't be together. We've just been pushing away for all this time, and now... now I don't know what to do. Where to focus my _energy,_" she smiles, grinning.

"I have a suggestion," I murmur, moving over her, kissing down her neck. This is the first time I've really "made a move," towards Rose, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and she, surprisingly, didn't seem to mind, despite her not seeming willing to even sleep in my apartment for the night.

But before I can even begin to come close to the satisfaction I crave, Rose receives a text, reminding us of where we are supposed to be.

I sigh in disappointment, but Rose slips out from under me, smiling, her black dress swaying happily with each step. "We'll finish this later," she informs me, and disappears out of the door.

I grin, and call after her,

"Really?"

* * *

**The end! Sorry it took me so long!**


	47. Surprise, Surprise! Epilogue 2!

"Belikov, please. You have to come."

I set the phone back on the receiver and jump out of bed, gently shaking Rose.

"Rose, love, you have to get up. Please, Roza, it's time to get up."

She turns over to face me, gently rubbing her eyes.

"Dimitri, what's wrong?" she mumbles softly.

I quickly grab her coat and pull it over her bare arms. "No time to explain, sweetheart. You need to get Vasilisa. It's time."

Rose springs out of bed, grabbing my hand, and leading me out the door. The cold night air bites into my face, and I wrap my arms tightly around her waist. Rose is in only her slippers, while I was lucky enough to grab my leather boots. We both crunch through the snow, and I try to lift her to help her avoid thicker snow banks.

Their driveway has gone unshovelled, so I literally pick her up off of the ground, and set her on the porch step.

"Thanks," she whispers, threading her hand in mine. I stand behind her as she pounds on the heavy wooden door.

"Liss! Liss, you have to open the door! C'mon, Liss, it's time!"

Unfortunately, Christian appears at the door, bare chested and angry-faced. "What do you want, Rose?"

"Shut it, fireball, I need Lissa."

And, as if summoned, Vasilisa appears behind him. "Rose? It's two in the morning. Wha-"

"Liss. He called. It's time."

Her face instantly loses it's last burden's of sleep. She pulls her jacket out of the hall closet, kisses Christian's cheek, and steps into the night.

Rose and Lissa exchange a glance, a silent conversation, though one-sided. Rose takes her friend's hand, squeezing it once, before we quickly make our way to the garage.

Rose and I do not own a car, there's no need for one, except at a time like this. Fortunately, we can borrow the Princess's, and they both climb into the back seat of the compact car, handing me the keys.

My eyes flick to Rose in the rearview mirror. I want to tell her I love her, that I'll protect her, and Vasilisa, but I cannot. Not here, not now.

And we set off.

...

"Dimitri, are we almost there?"

I sigh, exhaustion starting to creep into me. _Now is not the time. When your life is at stake, you don't give in because your legs are sore, because you're a little out of breath, because you haven't gotten enough sleep the night before. You fight._

As I drive, I can't help but wonder if Rose ever hears her own mentor's voice in her head at her weakest moments. I hear Galina's. Does she hear mine?

"We're almost there. You can sleep, sweetheart, if you need to."

But she shakes her head. "No, I'm fine. Lissa's practically asleep in my lap, though."

I chuckle softly. "It won't be much longer."

I can hear her soft breathing. "Dimitri?"

"Yes, Roza?"

"Do you think- Do you think it'll be okay? Do you think _she'll _be okay?"

I reach behind my seat, and I feel her shaking hand slip into mine. "I don't know, love. I hope so, God knows he deserves it. But... but not everyone can be as lucky as us."

She squeezes my hand. "I love you."

"I love you, too. We're here."

I pull into the driveway, the air around the small house far too quiet.

But I stop Rose before she can enter. Kissing her forehead, I say, "Stay here," before disappearing into the darkness.

At first, I hear nothing at all, but a loud scream bounces off of the walls, and I instantly tense. I bound down the basement stairs.

"Mikhail!" I scream, kicking open every door in the maze of rooms. "Mikhail!"

Another scream echoes through the building, and my heart seizes. I slam my shoulder against the last door in the thin hallway. It crashes against the wall, and the sight before me rips me apart.

"Mikhail," I breathe, and kneel beside his broken body.

He groans and turns over to face the ceiling. His nose is bent and twisted, blood pooling at his lips. Tears stream down his face, and his clothing is torn.

He gives me a heartbreaking, sad smile when he sees me, wiping his face with his sleeve.

"S-Sorry," he stutters, looking embarrassed at his condition.

"It's okay, Mikhail," I whisper to my old friend. "I understand."

He opens his mouth to speak, but a shrill cry interrupts him.

"You son of a bi-"

I spin quickly, and her voice cuts off when she sees me. But she doesn't stay silent for long. "Who the hell _are _you?"

"Sonya," Mikhail pants. "This is Dimitri Belikov. He's here to help you." He speaks to her sweetly, like he isn't the one who has tied to the wooden chair at the side of the room.

She struggles helplessly. "You said you loved me, Mikhail! I'm happy like this. How could you do this to the woman you loved? You lied to me. I hate you!"

"You aren't happy like this. You were desperate, you were under the Spirit's influence. This isn't you," I hiss at her. "Don't fall for this, Mikhail."

Fresh tears are spilling down his cheeks now, and I myself become desperate.

"Rose!" I shout as loud as I possibly can, hoping she can hear. _Baby, I need you, _I think, praying for her to come. The sweetest sound of her footsteps graces my ears.

"Dimitri?" She shields Vasilisa, and they both appear in the doorway. "Oh God, Ms. Karp?"

Sonya screams and jerks her shoulders, managing to break one of her wrist ties.

"Roza, hurry," I demand, rushing behind Sonya, trying to grab her flailing hands before she frees herself.

Rose hands Lissa the stake, and the Princess creeps forward. Her old teacher snarls, and Vasilisa flinches, but slowly steps forward again.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Karp," Vasilisa whispers, and forces the stake into her chest. Sonya lets out a blood-curdling shriek of agony. Mikhail sobs and grabs one of her hands, his tears streaking her palms.

"Forgive me," he murmurs, and Vasilisa throws more of her weight behind the stake. Sonya shudders in once more, and then a pure blast of white light throws me back against the wall. My head rings in a sharp pain, and I clutch my throbbing skull.

But as soon as the light appeared, it is gone, and the room is silent.

Rose pulls Lissa back, away from their teacher. I cannot hear a thing but the sound of my own heartbeat as it hammers in my ears.

Until Sonya breaks through the quiet.

"Oh God."

She bursts into tears.

Mikhail is instantly up from his place against the floor. "Sonya. Oh Sonya, please look at me."

She shakes her head, and bends over at the waist, her head buried into her knees. "I- I-"

"Sonya, please. Love, just look at me."

She cries harder. "Mi- Mi-" She shudders again. "I have hurt... _S- So _many people."

He kisses her cheek, kneeling before her. "I know. But I'm here, I'm here now, please, we can get through this together. Don't go, please don't leave me again."

I feel like an intruder on their intimate conversation, listening in on something so personal. But Rose crawls up to me on her hands and knees and sits in my lap, her head resting against my shoulder. I rock her gently, back and forth, brushing her hair from her face.

"It's over."

We both watch as Mikhail unties Sonya's wrists, and she launches herself into his arms. Even for a Moroi, she is much smaller than him, her waist rail-thin, her long, red hair tied high on her head. It's hard to believe she is only twenty-two years old. She is younger than Mikhai, by about four years, only nineteen when they first met. She was one of the youngest teachers the school had ever seen, barely out of school herself when she had been hired as an elementary school teacher for Moroi and their barely surfacing powers, since she was believed to have had a low control over all 'four'. It wasn't long after that her mental health had begun to noticeably suffer.

She's so young, too young to ever have to go through anything like this.

Mikhail picks her up off of her feet, supporting her weight, and we all slowly make our way from the house.

...

I pull up to the iron gates, Rose's hand intertwined with my own. She sits in the passenger seat, while Mikhail, Sonya, and Vasilisa share the back seat.

I hand the man my I.D. card. He stares at me once over. "Whose in the car?" he asks.

"Rosemarie Hathaway, Princess Vasilisa Dragomir, Guardian Mikhail Tanner, and Sonya Karp."

The Guardian does a double take. "Sonya Karp? _Crazy _Sonya Karp? I thought she went strigoi. That's impossible!"

I sigh, running a hand through my hair, listening to Sonya sniffle in the backseat. "She was brought back. Like Rosemarie Hathaway."

That in itself is an explanation all on it's own. But, of course, I am forced to stay put while the Guardian's swarm the car, pulling out Sonya Karp and taking her in for investigation. Mikhail watches her helplessly as she is taken away.

"Be careful with her," he mumbles, although the Guardians are too far away to even hear him.

He turns to me, giving me a short, sharp handshake before pulling me into a hug, clapping me roughly on the back.

"You will never know," he whispers, "how much this means to me."

I smile. "I understand completely."

He seems to have aged decades in one night. His shoulders slump, his eyes hold heavy bags. But his eyes hold the hope that had dimmed long ago. He embraces Rose next, then Vasilisa, shaking her hand, pledging whatever he can, whatever he can do to make it up to her.

Vasilisa just shakes her head, and tells him to treat her well, and to be patient. He swears by both, and gives her one last hug before trailing after the love of his life.

I feel a soft tug on my hand, and I spin to face my own (sort-of) girlfriend. My hands go to her waist, and her arms slip around my neck.

"Now I feel guilty as hell," she sighs, swaying gently in my arms.

"Guilty? Why do you feel guilty?"

She smiles softly. "Because," she explains. "The first thing she did was throw her arms around him and tell him how much she loved him and she kissed him like a million times on the car ride home. How much easier would your life have been if I would have done that when you first turned me back?"

I smile. "So much. But that's not who you are, Rose. You're so strong, so stubborn. You didn't need me, not like Sonya needs Mikhail. She's always been sensitive, and the darkness just made her emotionally unstable."

Rose snorts, laying her temple down against my chest. "Of course I needed you, Dimitri. I still need you. I still wake up with nightmares when you work the night shift and you're not home. And I think I know a thing or two about being emotionally unstable."

I frown. "You're still having nightmares? I thought you were over that. I'll stop taking night shifts, I swear. And you're not unstable, you-"

She just laughs and strains upwards, pouting slightly until I press my lips to hers. "Stop worrying about me. I'm fine, alright? They're just a few bad dreams. I'm a big girl, Dimitri."

"That doesn't mean I can't take care of you."

Hand in hand, we take Vasilisa back to her townhouse, before going back to our own small apartment. I open the door, allowing her to slip in first. By the time I get out of my boots and jacket, she's already under the covers, waiting for me.

I slide into bed, wrapping my arms around her waist, and pulling her to my chest. "Good night, Roza."

"Mmm. Good night."

I sigh in contentment. Rose had only been living with me for a short time. Two weeks ago, she had come to me in the obscenely early hours of the morning, admitting that she was having terrible nightmares that tortured her sleep. She was hoping to stay with me for the night, just being tired of waking up scared and alone. One night turned into two, which, eventually, led to her abandoning her own small apartment, and unofficially moving in with me.

I can hear her voice, thick with sleep. "Hey, Dimitri?"

"Yes, Rose?"

"I forgot to tell you. My Mom said that she was going to introduce me to my father, if I wanted. Do you think I should?"

I think of my own father. But then, I think of half of Rose, the half that Janine is not, and smile. "I don't know. What do you think?"

"I don't know. Do you think it's a good idea?"

"I've never met him, Rose. I can hardly give you advice."

I can hear as she exhales sharply, a thin laugh. "Really? Because I asked what he was like and my Mom told me to ask you."

I furrow my brow. "Ask me?" A blunt, sinking feeling in my gut begins to surface. "Rose? Rose, did she say what his name was?"

"Ibrahim. Ibrahim Mazar," she replies.

I choke.

_Good God. What have I gotten myself into?_

__

_

* * *

_

**Looks like I did have another chapter left in me! This is just to tie up a few loose ends, that I suddenly thought of. I hope this didn't ruin the story for you guys...**


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